


Can You See The Moon?

by Dogsocks



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Character, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Hurt/Comfort, I'll add more tags as i go, Johzenji, M/M, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, POV Alternating, Slow Burn, So much angst, Terushima is totally and art kid btw, This is a lot more fluffy in the beginning than I realized, somehow this starts as a coffe shop AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2018-09-19 13:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 57,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9443909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dogsocks/pseuds/Dogsocks
Summary: Upon picking it up, Daichi realizes that it isn't doodles on a napkin, but actual drawings on a piece of paper. Why would somebody leave their drawings on the floor though? Unless maybe they dropped it, but isn’t that something you’d notice? A quick glance around the vacant tables tells him it doesn't belong to anyone still here, but maybe if someone was in a hurry to leave they could drop it without noticing.He looks back down at the drawing, some pretty amazing sketches of hands drawing other hands. It's not his fault it's on the floor but he feels a little worse about stepping on it now.He checks to see if there's anything in the back and almost drops it himself when he sees what's there. It's definitely another drawing, but there's no doubt in his mind that this drawing is ofhim.





	1. Brown Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I've been working on this angsty, fluffy, slow burn, rare pair, multichapter, Terudai fic for a long time, and I finally decided to just post chapter one to motivate myself to finally finish converting this mess of ideas into coherent sentences. It started as the mere concept of Terushima as an art kid and somehow after throwing around ideas with my sibling, it became a this huge thing that I'm way too invested in. So, with that, I hope you enjoy!

Terushima is way too tired to be awake right now, but the neighbor's dog has fervently insisted that he get up and out of the house early on this particularly shitty Sunday morning. He's far from actually being awake, but he probably won't be able to fall back asleep either, which really sucks because this is his only day to sleep in all week. Whatever. No use laying awake in bed, he might as well make the most of it now. Maybe this day will get better. Maybe this will be good for him, and he can actually do something productive with his morning before he has to work later.

Terushima could always use some more time drawing and sketching people from real life instead of from pictures or just his imagination. It's not so much for the details or proportions, but for the things people do that make them unique. That's the fun part. 

In that case, maybe he'll go somewhere cozy with no obnoxious dogs and just draw for a while. He probably has enough money left from his paycheck for a coffee somewhere, maybe that little cafe bookstore thing. It’s pretty cheap and it’s a good place to just hang out for a while. Yeah, that could be nice. It's kind of a long walk, but cute people to draw show up in cute places. That seems worth it right now.

Well, if he doesn't go somewhere soon, he's probably going to end up mercilessly killing that relentless little dog and his neighbor probably won't be too happy if that happens, so he finally rolls out of bed. Literally rolls. Which, as it turns out, is a terrible idea. He falls arms first, catching his upper body as the rest of him lands on the floor with a loud, painful thud. Someday, that'll actually work. At least he's a little more awake now. He waits motionless on the floor for a minute, not even breathing while he listens to see if the noise woke anyone up below him. When he hears nothing but the heater kicking to life, he gets up.

He throws on the first pair of jeans he stumbles across, and the dim room mixed with the clumsiness of just waking up has him shoving his foot through the rips in the knees way too many times to be considered tolerable. He falls over again when his foot gets caught for the seventh time and he decides to just finish this battle on the floor. 

After throwing on a few randomly layered shirts and making sure he has his phone, wallet, and keys, he grabs a small sketch book off his desk and shoves a handful of pens and pencils into his boots. He's not sure what he grabbed, but he'll find out eventually. It's kind of like a challenge to work with whatever he happened to grab, or maybe it's just laziness, but a challenge sounds way better so he'll stick with that.

He almost leaves when the blanket in the corner of the room catches his eye and makes him stop. He back tracks and removes the fabric, revealing the excited bird in the cage underneath.

“Morning, Rika,” Terushima says sweetly, pleased at the answering chirp. "I'll be back later."

He tosses the blanket somewhere on the other side of his room to be found later and throws on a hat and a scarf before finally setting off in the direction of the cafe.

***

It's Saturday, and Daichi has no plans, which is a relief. Between work, being in high level classes in his third year of high school, and also preparing for the qualifiers of the spring tournament, it's kind of nice to finally be able to take a break and just relax without feeling like there’s something he should be doing. He doesn’t even have any unfinished homework.

Well, it _should _be a relief. It also just feels kind of weird, having nothing to do and no one to keep track of. There's this nagging in the back of his mind, like there actually is something to get done and he’s forgetting about it. It makes him almost restless, just sitting in his house like this.__

____

____

After a long time trying to just _relax_ , he gives up and decides to occupy himself with other things, because sitting in bed on a Sunday sounds way better than he actually finds it to be. 

He makes a nice breakfast and some tea, leaving enough in the fridge for his mom to have whenever she wakes up. He considers leaving enough for his father, but he isn’t even sure if he’s home, and he’s sure as hell not going to risk getting yelled at for interrupting his work just to find out. Besides, even if he were home, who knows when he'd actually come out to eat.

He cleans up the kitchen as quietly as possible and thinks about reading, but he's read every book on the shelf. So, he tries to write instead, though for some reason the words just won't cooperate right now. It’s a little frustrating, but he really can’t manage to focus on anything at the moment, so he gets up yet again. 

Daichi eventually resorts to doing chores around the house, just to give him something, _anything_ , to do with himself. He silently curses his mother for being just as restless as him, because there's really not much cleaning left to be done. Both of them seem to just do it subconsciously.

He wanders the house aimlessly looking for surfaces to clean when he somehow ends up in the library. It's not really a library, so much as it's a small room beyond the living room that just happens to be where they keep all the books, but they've gotten used to calling it that. This whole room always sends shivers down his spine, and he generally tries to avoid it unless he needs something. He feels out of place in his own house when he’s in here and it's really unsettling.

The space always feels so cold and barren, lifeless. There are shelves of books wrapping the pale blue walls in places, but it looks like no one has ever touched them. It's like they're just decorations, and that just bothers him. 

Then there's the baby grand piano that always sits vacant in the corner, standing so proud and pristine but for some reason it just feels so eternally empty. He can't even remember the last time someone actually played it, which is a shame because he can definitely remember how beautifully it plays. The sound itself was the only good thing to ever come out of it.

Daichi doesn't realize he's been walking towards it until he's right beside it, running a finger along the polished edge where his reflection stares back at him with the same pained expression he wears. He hastily wipes away the fingerprint, erasing any trace of humans having possibly dirtied the lifeless black surface.

He's suddenly overwhelmed with the need to get out. Get out of this room, out of the house, anywhere but here. 

It's still too early for any of his friends to be awake so that's not an option. Maybe he'll get a coffee somewhere or something. Somewhere nice where he can just sit around and try to write again or read for a while. Suga's told him a few times about some book store pretty close that's also a cafe. He's convinced Daichi will like it, and he's out of books anyways, so maybe he'll finally take the opportunity to try it. It can't hurt. It's not like he has anything better to be doing.

With a sudden wave of energy, Daichi flies from the room and gets ready to leave. He writes a quick note for his mom before rushing out the door.

 

The cafe isn't a far walk, but it's colder outside than it's been lately. Even after such a short amount of time being exposed to the bitter winds, the wave of heat as Daichi pushes through the doors is a relief. 

It's a cozy place, with a small counter on one side and shelves upon shelves of books on the other. In between, there's an odd mixture of seating for reading and some chairs with tables for the cafe. The whole atmosphere is very homey and warm, and honestly, Daichi already likes this place. God, Suga knows him well.

He pulls out the earbuds he had in to buy a coffee, then spends a while wandering the aisles of books in search of something new to read. He has this weird feeling, like he has to hurry up and get a book so he can go, but in reality, he has nowhere else to be and nothing else to be doing. It's not like the store is closing anytime soon or there are people waiting for him. 

Eventually, he finds a book that seems interesting enough. It's pretty long, so hopefully it'll last him a little while. He leans up against a bookshelf and reads the first chapter, not wanting to commit to a seat before committing to a book, and not wanting to commit to a book before making sure it's actually worth reading. The first chapter seems promising though, so he buys the book and finds a spot to read it. 

There's an arm chair next to a little table that seems like a good place to settle down and get rid of some of this stress building inside him. Once he sits it doesn't take long for him to get comfortable. He sets down his coffee, the notebook he brought, and the new book beside him on the table while he shrugs off his jacket and lets it fall around his waist. After pulling his legs up onto the chair and sticking his earbuds back in, he grabs the book again, rests it in his lap, and reads.

***

He knew it'd be a long walk, but he's starting to regret this idea a little. It's way colder out than Terushima would like considering it's only fall. He has a few layers on, but it's barely good enough when it's so damn windy. Not to mention there’s a never ending draft, courtesy of his blind decision in pants choice. Pants two, Terushima zero.

He pulls his scarf up higher to cover a little bit more of his face from the wind, but it's a futile effort. He ends up settling for just walking faster. When he gets to the cafe after what feels like hours, he almost melts at the warmth that surrounds him as soon as he's through the doors. It's such a contrast to the world outside.

There are a few people here, but luckily, no one has taken his table yet. He doesn't really come here often enough for it to be considered _his_ table, but it's the one he uses any time he does come. It also happens to be the seat with the best view of the whole store, and even the front window, which is great for drawing the people that walk by or just people watching in general.

He makes his way over to the seat and settles in quickly, sliding out of his sweater and leaving it on the chair. He sits down for a minute, opening his sketchbook to the first clean page and removing the pens from his boot to dump across the table. He’s especially glad to finally take out the prismacolor that was digging into his ankle the whole walk. He thinks about drawing, but quickly decides on getting his coffee first because wow, is it still too early. 

Ordering the coffee goes even better than expected. The barista is pretty damn cute, and he's definitely flirting with Terushima. So, he flirts right back. By the time another customer finally strolls in behind him and Terushima returns to his seat with his coffee, along with the phone number written on the cup, there's someone else at his table.

It's a girl. She isn't really his type, but she's far from unattractive. She pushes her short hair back behind her ear as she stares down at Terushima's open sketchbook on the table. There's a drawing of one of his friends next to the empty page he had opened it to that she's looking at. It was a drawing of a picture actually, of Bobata looking like an idiot trying to walk across the back of a park bench. Sadly, there was no picture of him falling flat on his ass about three seconds later.

When he actually walks over, the girl gets extremely startled and apologizes way too many times for intruding, even though he assures her that he seriously doesn’t care. 

After that, it's the same as it always is. Some stranger who's brave enough to actually talk to him sees his sketchbook and thinks it's the greatest thing they've ever seen, even the shitty doodles. Then they talk and talk to Terushima, about his art, about how good they think it is, and he somehow ends up with their number. He's not complaining, but it'd be nice every once in awhile if someone actually said something about what he draws besides how _good_ and _pretty_ it is. It can even be a criticism, just something original. Maybe that’s greedy or something, but is that really so wrong to want? A boy can dream.

After the girl leaves, he finally takes a sip of his coffee and actually starts to sketch. At first, he tries to draw the cute barista, but he moves around way too much. All he ends up with is a page full of pieces of different poses he was able to catch before the man moved again, and they're pretty nice, but it's frustrating to have half a drawing.

The guy has nice eyes and cute dimples. He'd like to be able to draw him properly. Maybe he can someday. But, that's not what today is about. Today is for drawing real people doing whatever the hell they do. Gotta focus.

Terushima scribbles 'Mr. Dimples' in the corner of the page along with the phone number from his coffee cup before he moves on to a girl who's sitting across the room by the door with her coffee in one hand and a book in the other. She's pretty, maybe even kind of hot, and she moves far less than the barista. Plus, she sits in a lot of interesting poses, which is always fun. 

He's in the middle of sketching her hair for the new position she's decided to switch to when the doors swing open behind her and someone exceptionally attractive walks in. The guy looks around for a second and Terushima is struck immediately by how amazing his eyes are for some reason. They're just brown, but man, are they something else. He can't even explain it. He just wants to stare at them, but the second those eyes glance at him he's looking anywhere else. 

He tries not to stare as the guy walks by his table on his way to order a coffee. But he's got a nice build, broad shoulders. It's hard not to.

Before long, he loses sight of those oddly mesmerizing eyes as the guy they belong to strolls out of sight between all the bookshelves. It's a little annoying, and Terushima strains to try and see him through gaps, but it's no use.

He's a little disappointed, but it's not like he can draw the guy while he's wandering around, anyways. He'll just have to wait and hope that he stays for a while. What if he just buys a book then leaves? That would suck. Terushima is looking forward to drawing him. Hell, he’s looking forward to just looking at him some more.

In the meantime, he tries to go back to drawing the first girl again, who has shifted slightly but thank god her hair is still the same. He continues for a while, but he keeps finding himself glancing up in hopes to see whoever that was again. He seemed kind of familiar, but Terushima can't decide where he knows him from. If only he could get a better look at him.

After glancing up for the twentieth time, he actually sees Brown Eyes again. He's leaning up against a bookshelf with one hand in his jacket pocket and an open book in the other. Terushima can't even believe how posed this guy looks while he’s just standing there reading, but he couldn't care less. All he knows is that he needs to draw him before he's stops reading. Shit, hopefully he isn't a fast reader. Who knows how long he has.

He turns his chair around a little too eagerly, but a quick look around shows that no one seemed to notice. He starts sketching as quickly as he can, but luckily this guy doesn't move very much, and when he does, it's to turn the page before returning his hand to his pocket. Terushima finishes the sketch pretty quickly and even has time to smooth out the lines and add some detail to it before Brown Eyes closes the book and moves to buy it.

Terushima has time to do a rough sketch of him leaning on the counter before he's done paying and moves to find a seat. Terushima watches him the whole time before he realizes he's staring at this guy and not even drawing anything yet. Hopefully Brown Eyes hasn't noticed that. He doesn't seem to, though it's not like Terushima cares that much. He's got no shame.

Despite that, he feels like he should probably refrain from staring this much, so he takes the time while the other boy is looking for a seat to scribble a quick name on the corner of the page with the girl sketched on it. He always names the sketches of the people he draws. He doesn't ever ask for their names, and even if he knows what their name is, he doesn't write it. He likes to write the feature or quirk he noticed most about the person. He's not sure why he does it. Maybe it's just a way of remembering all these strangers. A lot of the time it's just what he decides to call them in his head and it sticks.

The girl has on a big sweater that she pulls the sleeves of over her hands in a pretty adorable way, with just enough of her index finger and thumb out to hold the book open. He quickly scribbles 'Sleeves' on the page before turning to focus back on the boy with the beautiful brown eyes.

Terushima watches carefully as he settles down in an arm chair that's thankfully facing this way for the most part. After pulling his feet onto the chair, Brown Eyes again settles into stillness in a really good position for drawing. Seriously, this guy is unreal. Terushima starts with a quick sketch just in case, but once again, the guy stays almost completely still for a long time, engrossed in whatever book he's reading. That's great for Terushima, because it makes him really easy to draw. He's had people model for him that don't even stay this still.

Terushima adds details afterwards, cleans it up a bit, and he even has time to add a little shading. Once he's done all that and the boy is still a statue in his seat, Terushima just starts drawing his own hands for probably the millionth time in his life. 

After an amount of time that Terushima hasn't really been paying attention to, Brown Eyes finally moves, closing the book and exchanging it for something else. A notebook maybe? Yeah, he has a pencil now, too. Terushima continues to watch as he turns in his chair to sit sideways with his legs over one side and the notebook in his lap.

As Terushima begins to sketch again, the beautiful brown haired boy starts writing in his notebook. He can't help but wonder what he's writing, or writing about. Maybe it's just homework, but maybe it's something better than that. It actually makes him sad for a second because that’s a mystery he’ll probably never solve.

Brown Eyes moves around a little more when he's writing, and after quite a few pages of sketches of this one guy, Terushima decides that's probably enough for one day, in this store anyways. He's been here for more than a few hours and he has to be at the diner soon, so maybe he'll head out now. He feels a little disappointed leaving this beautiful brown eyed boy here. Odds are he won't see him again, like everyone else he draws, and Brown Eyes himself won’t even remember Terushima. For some reason he feels a little sad about that.

Maybe he can just talk to him, ask for his number or something. Terushima has never been any kind of shy, so why not? It's worth a try anyways.

Wait, never mind. Upon glancing over at him, Terushima is almost positive that Brown Eyes fell asleep. God, he looks cute literally all the time. It’s unfair. Well, so much for talking to him. Whatever, it's just another stranger. Doesn’t matter.

That’s what he tells himself.

***

Daichi wakes up and is confused for a second before he remembers where he is. Wait, shit, how long has he been asleep? He pulls out his phone, a little more desperately than he'd like to admit, checking the time. It's only a little after noon, so he probably wasn't asleep long. There aren't many people around, but it's still a little embarrassing.

Daichi decides that it's probably about time he gets going anyways. He managed to get halfway through that book and get a lot of stress out with some writing. That seems like a good day to him.

He slides on his coat and gathers his things before making his way back over to the door. On his way out, one of his feet slides backwards suddenly. He catches himself before he actually loses his balance, looking down to see a napkin or something that was left on the floor. Daichi isn't in a rush and he shouldn't leave this here for anyone else to slip on, so he decides to pick it up and throw it out. Honestly, it would probably bother him if he left knowing it was still there anyways.

But, when he goes to grab it, he notices there are some drawings on it, and now a kind of dusty outline of the bottom of his shoe. So someone was doodling on a napkin. That's not too weird. Upon picking it up though, he realizes that it isn't doodles on a napkin, but actual drawings on a piece of paper. Why would somebody leave their drawings on the floor though? Unless maybe they dropped it, but isn’t that something you’d notice? A quick glance around the vacant tables tells him it doesn't belong to anyone still here, but maybe if someone was in a hurry to leave they could drop it without noticing. 

He looks back down at the drawing, some pretty amazing sketches of hands drawing other hands. It's not his fault it's on the floor but he feels a little worse about stepping on it now.

He checks to see if there's anything in the back and almost drops it himself when he sees what's there. It's definitely another drawing, but there's no doubt in his mind that this drawing is of _him_. It's a sketch of him where he was a minute ago, sitting in the chair reading, with an alarming amount of detail. Apparently Daichi doesn't move much when he reads or something, because wow, this is detailed. It's kinda scary. 

He flips the paper back over and for a second, he thinks that it might have been someone close enough to draw his hands while he was writing but it's a left hand, so at least these aren't Daichi too. He's not that oblivious, thank god.

He doesn't even know how to feel about this. He finds himself feeling highly creeped out, and yet very flattered at the same time. It's kind of nice to think that someone took the time to draw him so well and in such detail, but at the same time, it's a little creepy and embarrassing to imagine that someone was studying him for that long without him even noticing.

Seriously, how did he not notice that at all? Was he really that zoned out? Oh god, did whoever drew this see him sleeping? He can't help the embarrassment that washes over him at that thought.

He notices something in the corner of the page and realizes there's something written there in small, sharp handwriting. Brown Eyes. It says _Brown Eyes _. Now Daichi _really_ doesn't know how to feel at all.__

____

____

__When he realizes that he's standing, shocked and maybe even blushing a little, in the middle of a cafe right by a window, staring at a piece of paper that looks like a napkin, Daichi decides it's definitely time to leave now before he gets any weird looks._ _

__Without thinking, he shoves the paper in his notebook and rushes out of the cafe. He checks several of his pockets in a hasty search for his phone, ready to turn back and check the cafe for it when he finally finds the pocket it's in. He dials Suga's number and picks up his pace, absentmindedly tapping the side of his leg as he waits for Suga to answer._ _

____

***

Terushima is sitting with his legs crossed on his bed, listening to music and doing some homework, when he gets the sudden urge to paint something. It just happens sometimes. He'll never know why, but he does know that right now he has an intense need for watercolors. Math can wait.

He does a backwards somersault off the back of his bed with a sudden burst of energy, and he even manages to land on his feet this time. Rika squawks and flaps her way to the bookshelf. Terushima had completely forgotten she was on his head and the movement certainly startled her.

“Sorry, Rika, but this is important! Inspiration is a fickle beast,” he says to the bird as he flies into action. He goes to the desk and fishes around in the drawer until he finds the paints and an old tin can. He then runs to the bathroom, gets yelled at for being loud so late at night, puts some water in the can, and slinks quietly back into his room.

He gets some watercolor paper off the shelf and brings it to the desk, falling into the chair and setting everything down in one swift motion. After he finds a napkin in his drawer and grabs a paint brush from the old tea pot he keeps them in, he's ready to paint.

But there's still a problem. He doesn't know what to paint. Probably a person. He usually paints people and draws people. It's fun because it gets easier the more you do it, but at the same time, it's always different. 

So, who to paint? Maybe he can just clean up one of his sketches from today, do something fun with it. After the cafe, he did some people watching in the park that’s on his walk home for a while. He's proud of himself, he got a lot done before his shift at the diner. 

He tries his hardest to remember who he drew and which one he wants to paint. He could always just check his sketchbook, but he wants to try and remember as many as he can before he resorts to that. It's more fun that way.

So, there was Freckles, Smiley, and Mohawk from the park, but none of those had enough detail to replicate well enough to paint. They either wouldn't stay still, or left too soon. Well, Freckles stayed plenty still, but all he had was him sitting or standing in boring poses. That's no fun. He could try to fill in the missing pieces on the rougher sketches but that tends to just be frustrating.

His last resort is the people from the cafe. There was Mr. Dimples, but he moved too much to get anything good. Maybe he could do something with that, but not today. Then there was Sleeves, and Brown Eyes. 

Wait. That's perfect. 

He has so many good sketches of Brown Eyes and he certainly has no complaints with having to draw him again. God, he was pretty. He'd love to be able to draw him again in person if he could. It's a little sad that he won't get to. But, he knows exactly which sketch he wants to recreate.

He practically falls out of his desk chair as he shoots across the room to grab his sketch book, startling Rika again. He hasn't been this excited to draw someone in a while, but that's not a bad thing. He quickly flips through the pages until he gets to the section of about ten different sketches varying from blobs to master pieces that are all of him. He flips through the pages. Then flips through again. And again.

Shit. What the fuck. Where is it? Where's the drawing, the one he needs? He looks hastily through the entire book but it's actually gone. How is it gone? Sketches don’t just disappear. Could it really have fallen out? He flips through the book again and about five more pages fall out. Okay, so it probably fell out. It's an old sketch book.

Knowing how he lost it really doesn't make Terushima feel any better about losing it. It still sucks. That was a really good sketch, one of the better one's he's ever done. Plus it was the best one by far that he had drawn of the beautiful brown eyed boy. Sure, he had other ones that were fine, but those didn't really compare to the one that was now floating around somewhere between here and that bookstore. 

It's a little disappointing, especially knowing that there isn't any way he'll get it back now, considering he has no way of knowing when it actually fell out. It could be outside, and the rain pounding on his window isn't a good sign if that's the case. He's hopeful that maybe it's in the cafe, but it's not like anyone is going to save a sketch just in case someone comes back for it. In conclusion, it's either in the trash under someone’s fancy espresso or it's a blob in a puddle somewhere, which really sucks.

He sighs loudly to himself before deciding on a different picture of Brown Eyes to paint. It's still good. Really, it's not a big deal. It doesn't matter that much. This guy seriously looks great in every sketch he did anyways, but it's still disappointing that he'll never get that one back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I usually like to update every day because I'm super impatient, but if I did that with this I would fall behind very quickly so, I'm going to try my best to keep up with a once a week schedule. Expect an update next Sunday!


	2. A Little Familiar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Shit_. Oh god, Brown eyes saw Terushima drawing him. It's not like the people have never caught Terushima drawing them before. He usually has the mental capacity to send a sly smile at them, or at least keep his damn jaw shut, but why the hell is this guy looking at him like _that_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two finally! I'm working on a lot of things right now but I'm gonna try to keep this as my main priority. With that, I hope you enjoy!

Daichi sits at Suga's dining room table, tapping the smooth surface absentmindedly as he waits. Eventually, Suga returns from the kitchen with two steaming cups of tea. He wordlessly slides one across the table to Daichi as he sits down in the chair across from him. Daichi takes the cup gratefully and brings it to his mouth. It's chai. Of course it is. Daichi knows it's pretty obvious to Suga when something is bothering him, big or small, and Suga knows this never fails to make Daichi feel at least a little better. This time is no different. He feels his shoulders relax a little bit, his mind stop spinning so fast. It's not even a big deal, but the gesture is still nice.

Suga leans forward on his elbows with both hands on his mug of tea as he stares silently at Daichi with a focused look Daichi has come to know as 'The Listening Face'. Daichi knows that Suga is waiting for him to start talking, but he doesn't really want to or know where to start, for that matter. It's not even like he's having some huge crisis or anything. He just doesn't know how to feel and he knows talking to Suga will at least clear his head of this nonsense, make some sense of things. 

He also knows that if he waits long enough, Suga will get impatient.

"So, what happened to get you so flustered as to seek out my wonderful opinion?" Suga asks finally, breaking the silence.

"What? I'm not flustered," Daichi replies quickly, probably proving himself wrong simultaneously. "I'm just confused, and a little weirded out, and I don't know. I just wanted to tell someone about my weird morning I guess, and I've got nowhere to be today so I'm here."

"There we go! Okay, that's a start. So, what's got you confused and weirded out then?" Suga asks as he puts down the cup and rests his chin on his hands instead.

"Okay," Daichi begins slowly, organizing his thoughts, "So, I had nothing to do today and I finally went to that bookstore cafe thing you wanted me to, which was actually really nice by the way."

"Isn't it great? I knew you would like that place!" Suga cuts in with a wide grin. "Sorry, keep going," he adds hastily, waving a hand at Daichi and refocusing on the conversation.

"So, I went there and I got a coffee, and a book because I’ve read everything in my house, and I wrote for a bit, and it was a pretty good day. Anyways, that’s all irrelevant,” he says waving his hand dismissively as he tries to get back to the topic at hand. “So, at some point, apparently I fell asleep, which was admittedly a little embarrassing. Then when I woke up, I decided I should probably just head home anyways, ya know?"

"Daichi, not to jump to conclusions," Suga interrupts, "But is this seriously all over the fact that you fell asleep in some public place?"

"What? No, what the hell," Daichi answers with a quick shake of his head, "It was what happened when I was leaving that was weird. So like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I was leaving, and I slid on what I thought was a napkin or something on the floor. I didnt like fall or anything, but when I went to throw it away, it was _not_ a napkin, Suga."

As Daichi finishes his brief explanation he flips through the pages of his notebook while Suga watches him with a quirked eyebrow. He could've explained that a lot better than he did, now that he thinks about it. Whatever. After a few seconds, Daichi finds where he shoved the drawing and pulls it out for Suga to look at.

Suga takes the paper from Daichi curiously. As he inspects it, Daichi can see the confusion on his face quickly shift to a shocked realization of who the drawing is of.

"Oh," Suga says after a while, sounding a little weirded out. Daichi doesn't blame him. "Brown Eyes, huh?" Suga grins at him.

"I know," Daichi groans into his hands. "It's weird, right?"

"Well, I don't know," Suga starts, clearly about to throw out some optimism. "Obviously someone was drawing you, but is that a bad thing?"

"I don't know! That's the problem," Daichi admits, sliding down in his chair. "I don't know if I should be flattered that someone was drawing me, or creeped out that someone was watching me that closely for that long. I mean, it could've been someone nice and cool or it could've been some weirdo. What if they saw me sleeping too?"

"Well, anyone in the store could have," Suga points out as he slides the drawing back over to Daichi.

"I know, don't remind me. But it still feels weird, ya know?" Daichi says, knowing his arguments aren't really that great right now. "Especially since the area of the store I found it in was completely deserted. So that just means whoever was drawing it was long gone and either dropped it by accident, or they left it behind for some reason, which would be even creepier. I'm gonna go ahead and assume it was an accident. I don't know what to do about it though, and now I just have this!" he says, waving around the stupid drawing.

"Well, you didn't _have_ to keep the paper," Suga starts, sounding far too innocent for where he’s headed with this statement. "And you don't _have_ to do anything about it."

Shit, that's kind of true. Daichi could've just thrown out the drawing and forgotten about the whole thing, regardless of how weird it was. So why didn't he? That's kind of unsettling and really only serves to make Daichi more confused.

"But, clearly you _want_ to do something about it, yes?" Suga says with a look that does all the talking for him. "I think someone accidentally found a way into that heart of yours, Daichi," he teases lightly.

"No," Daichi mutters defensively, shrinking backwards. "It's just bugging me for some reason I guess. Like I don't like not knowing who it is, ya know? Also, I don't know how you got from 'something weird happened today' to 'potential love interest'," Daichi says accusingly, though Suga mostly ignores him. 

"I'm going to take that as a, 'Yes Suga, please help me find my creepy coffee artist, because I'm actually really flattered by this even though I'll never come out and say it'," Suga says with a smile that is somehow so sweet and yet so cruel. 

Maybe it is a good idea to try and find whoever this person is. Even if Daichi just manages to see them, that would at least be some closure on the matter. It's really kind of frustrating not knowing who the hell drew this. Either way, he throws Suga an annoyed look that he returns with a bright smile.

"Suga, can you not tell anyone about this? Not that it really matters, but still," Daichi says after a minute. Suga is a really good, loyal friend, and if you ask him to keep a secret, he won't tell a soul. He’ll take even the darkest of secrets to his grave if you just ask. But, if you don't specifically ask him to keep it quiet, it's fair game during any and every conversation and Daichi doesn't wanna deal with that.

"Of course," Suga says with a confident grin. 

"Thanks," Daichi mumbles, relaxing back into more confident posture.

"No problem," Suga replies casually, taking a sip from his mug as he leans back in his chair. His neutral calm breaks as he smirks into his cup and adds, "Brown Eyes." 

“I’m gonna kill you.”

***

Terushima draws Brown Eyes way more times than he's drawn anyone else. It's a little weird because he usually doesn't get hung up on one person for very long in general, especially with his drawing.

He gets bored pretty easily, which is why drawing people is so nice, because they're all so different and every person he draws next is new and memorable in some way the previous ones weren't. They all move and sit in different ways, and Terushima can draw one person for hours if he wants to, or move on to someone new. There's no shortage of people to draw in Japan.

Sometimes he'll redo a sketch he already did, clean up the lines, maybe color it in somehow or do some shading. It's not unheard of to reuse his favorite sketches he has for other projects, but Brown Eyes is somehow something different.

Terushima has drawn him more than a few other times. He's redrawn nearly every sketch of him at least once. He's messed with line work, coloring, painted a few. He even tried once or twice to recreate the picture he lost, but it’s never quite the same. He can't tell why but something about this guy makes him so fun to draw. Maybe it's how many different positions and actions he has to choose from drawing, or maybe it's just him. Sure, he's hot, but Terushima has drawn a lot of hot people before. There aren’t really many people that he doesn’t find some kind of attractive. People are pretty, but nothing like this has ever happened. Terushima is just waiting for the day when he gets bored of drawing Brown Eyes, but surprisingly, it never comes. It’s kind of odd, maybe even a little unsettling.

There’s also this weird emptiness, like no matter what he does it’s never enough. It just feels like seeing him through a piece of paper will never be the same, and how could it be? 

One day, on a whim, Terushima decides to go back to the cafe after work. He has to draw this boy again, see him again, and maybe, just maybe, he'll show up here so he can. People usually go to the same store more than once in their lifetime, assuming he actually lives in the area, so there's at least a possibility that Brown Eyes will be at the cafe again. Though, being there at the same time may be less than likely. 

Even if he's not there, he can always draw some more cute strangers while he's out. It's a win either way, so why not? 

 

Terushima waits at his table for an hour. He draws some people here and there, gets another phone number while he's there, doodles a bit. Every time he hears the door open behind him, the increasingly annoying chime of that bell, he can't help but whip around to see if it's Brown Eyes. Some people look at him funny, some people don't even notice it, but none of the people are Brown Eyes.

He feels a tad too desperate for some reason, with how quick he is to look and how disappointed he is when it's someone else. He knows it’s not very likely at all that he’ll be here today, he’s aware of that. He's just another guy, but Terushima can't seem to get rid of this _need_ to see him again. He's not sure if he likes the feeling or not.

He's about five minutes away from giving up and going home when he hears that god damn bell on the door behind him again. He turns around, fully expecting it to be another random stranger trying to ruin his day by getting his hopes up again. Instead, he nearly falls out of his chair when he see's that it's actually Brown Eyes.

He walks in the doorway and looks around quickly, like he's looking for someone. Maybe he's meeting a friend. He finds himself momentarily hoping it’s not a date he’s on the lookout for. His eyes fall on Terushima at some point, hopefully not long enough to notice how Terushima is staring or the way he turns to the table just a little too quickly. God, since when does Terushima even care about stuff like this?He needs to get a grip.

Terushima is intensely aware of Brown Eyes' presence in his peripheral vision. He decides to keep his eyes on the cover of his disheveled sketchbook rather than staring at Brown Eyes as he strolls up to the counter and buys a coffee. With his coffee in hand, he passes the chair he sat in last time in favor of one by the edge of the room with a table. Terushima has half a mind to wonder why, but he can see him well enough to draw, so why does it matter?

***

Daichi sits down with his coffee and his notebook at a table by the wall with a chair on either side. He settles in just as easily as he did the first time he came here a week ago.

He had another busy week, but a Sunday with nothing to do until later, and honestly he really likes this place. It had been a nice way to spend the day, regardless of how weirdly that day had ended. So, he decided to come back, and this time he had even invited Suga and Asahi. It's always nice to see them somewhere that isn't school or a gym, to hang out just because they’re friends. But, Asahi had plans already, some family thing, so it’ll just be Suga today.

And maybe he would see whoever drew that picture again, not that he was hoping or expecting to. Sure, it bugs him a little, not knowing, but it's not like he's ever going to find the person. That's not why he came anyways. He just wants to hang out with Suga in a cozy bookstore. If it's a bookstore where he can tell himself that mystery artist might show up, then it's just a bonus. 

But on his walk here, Daichi had gotten a text from Suga saying that he would be late, and Daichi was too far to bother turning around. That's fine, though. It's not like it'll be particularly hard to find a way to kill twenty or thirty minutes in a place like this. 

He turns up the music in his ears and opens his notebook to begins to write aimlessly for a bit while he waits for Suga. It's nothing special, just whatever fits the mood of the song, but it keeps him busy while he's just sitting there. He sips on his coffee a few times, though he's really trying to have some left by the time Suga gets here. He probably should’ve just waited to buy it, now that he thinks about it.

 

At some point, Daichi hears the door open, the sweet chime of a bell audible in the silence between songs. He's not sure how long it's been, but it could be Suga, so he glances up from his notebook to check. What he finds upon looking up, is not only that the person who walked in isn't even Suga, but that someone sitting by the door is staring at him with a frightening intensity.

He startles a little too visibly, and the guy staring at him mirrors the reaction, looking almost guilty for some reason. Daichi knows he must be making some kind of horrible face, but he can't even make himself look away. The guy does the same, sitting and staring. He has some kind of book clutched in his hands and a pencil hovering lazily over the page, not moving at all.

This has to be the guy. This has to be the person who was drawing him before. How could it not be? He was clearly in the middle of drawing Daichi _again_ when he had caught him staring. Maybe he was writing, but then why would he be staring at him like that? 

No, he's definitely drawing, and he's definitely the person who was drawing him before. He's sitting at the same table where Daichi found the drawing. Plus, the hands on the back of the sketch were left hands holding pencils. That means that if the person who drew them was drawing their own hands, they would have to be a lefty, right? This guy is holding his pencil in his left hand. That's even more reason for it to be him, isn't it?

Or maybe Daichi is overthinking this way too much. No, he's definitely overthinking this. God, why is he thinking about this so hard? Does it even really matter if this is the guy or not? For some reason it does.

***

_Shit_. Oh god, Brown eyes saw Terushima drawing him. It's not like the people have never caught Terushima drawing them before. He usually has the mental capacity to send a sly smile at them, or at least keep his damn jaw shut, but why the hell is this guy looking at him like _that_. Terushima hasn't done anything wrong, as far as he knows. Has he?

He doesn't even know this guy. At least he doesn't think he does, though he does look familiar. Shit, what if Terushima _does_ know this guy? What if this guy is surprised to see Terushima and he can't even remember _why_? That would be seriously bad, but not entirely unheard of. Not all of Terushima’s adventures are sober ones.

What is he even supposed to do now? Brown Eyes is still staring at him and Terushima realizes that he's still staring at Brown Eyes. He looks away, not really knowing what else to do, though now he's just staring at a bookshelf while his entire body still faces in that direction. Real smooth. God, what is wrong with him.

He glances up and almost falls out of his chair when he sees that Brown Eyes is steadily approaching his table, though now his expression looks more neutral, maybe even a little nervous. Terushima turns back around and slumps over his table, trying to play it cool, though he's pretty sure that doesn't work well. Man, he is off his game today. 

"Hey, were you just drawing me?" a voice asks from beside him. Terushima slowly looks up, and wow, is this guy even prettier up close, with a voice to match. Good god, he could definitely get use to hearing that.

"Um, yeah," Terushima starts, sliding his sketchbook out from beneath his arms so Brown Eyes can see where a sloppy sketch of him sits on the page. "I hope you don't mind," Terushima adds with a grin. Brown Eyes looks down at it for a second, almost like he’s looking for something rather than at something. Surprisingly, he says nothing about it. Nothing at all.

"No, it's fine," he starts, waving a dismissive hand at Terushima and smiling nervously. "So then, were you here last week, by any chance?" 

Terushima is a little confused as to how this guy could possibly know he was here last week. Had he seen Terushima drawing him last time too? Why would he only bring it up now if he had seen him before? Well, maybe he just saw him in general and recognizes him now. Regardless, Terushima nods. "Yeah. You can sit down if you want," he adds hastily, gesturing to the seat across from him, when he notices that Brown Eyes is still standing awkwardly by his side.

"Thanks," he says with a smile as he takes the seat across from Terushima. Terushima knows he shouldn't stare, but this guy makes it so hard not to. "Hold on," he says as he flips through a small, beat up notebook in his hands, allowing Terushima to look at him without being noticed. 

Who does this guy think he is? Strolling over to Terushima's table with that soft, nervous smile in direct contrast to the confidence he carries in his posture, not to mention those mesmerizing brown eyes. Seriously. On top of it all, the universe is clearly on his side, sending sunlight straight through the window to dance across his short brown hair and his sharp features. It's not even fair. Then again, he's at Terushima's table after all, so he isn't complaining.

Terushima slides into a grin, leaning his head heavily on one of his hands as he enjoys the view. God, he'd love to use him as a proper model for a drawing someday. He can think of a lot of other things he'd like to do with this beautiful boy, but he's brought out of this train of thought when Brown Eyes finally looks up again. He looks a little more flustered when he sees how Terushima is looking at him, which is adorable.

"So, if you were here last week too," Brown Eyes begins, pulling a paper out of his notebook and sliding it across the table. "Then I think this is probably yours. The style is similar so," he trails off.

Terushima looks curiously down at the paper in front of him and he nearly flies out of his chair with excitement when he sees what it is. Oh god, he thought he'd never see this again. Then again, he thought the same about Brown Eyes. This guy is really something else, huh?

"No way!" Terushima exclaims, taking the picture in his hands. "Aw man, I thought I lost this! It was my best sketch from that day. This was my favorite one in a while. I can't believe you found this! Where was it?" he asks, looking up at the other with a childlike excitement he can't even try to contain. Terushima thinks he might see Brown Eyes' cheeks flush just slightly when Terushima talks about the drawing being his favorite. So damn cute. 

"Oh, it was on the floor near this table. I didn't see it and I accidentally stepped on it on my way out. I picked it up, but then I noticed it was… me," Brown Eyes replies, folding his hands in front of him with a little huff of laughter. "Your drawings are really nice, by the way," he adds, looking at them with what appears to be actual curiosity. 

"Well, to be fair, you're a great model for sketching. I couldn’t resist."

"Do you mind if I look at the rest?" Brown Eyes asks, and yeah, that's definitely a blush now.

Ah, here it comes. This is the part. The part where he looks through Terushima's drawings and says they're really good and pretty. He had been curious earlier when Brown Eyes had looked at the sketch of himself and not made so much as a comment, maybe even a little hopeful that he would be different somehow.

"Oh, sure," Terushima says finally, handing over the sketchbook, hiding his disappointment behind a flawless mask of nonchalance. Brown Eyes takes it carefully and starts from the beginning, slowly flipping through the pages, taking a few seconds each time to carefully examine the drawings, sketches, doodles. Something about the way he seems to almost analyze each sketch is a little weird to Terushima, but he ignores it for the most part.

He continues to look through, occasionally pointing out the ones that he particularly likes, laughing at the funny ones while Terushima explains the stories behind some of them. It's all the same, aside from the fact that he takes a little longer than most people do. He lingers on the section of nearly four full pages of Brown Eyes and only Brown Eyes. It is admittedly a little embarrassing to watch him discover that the sketch he found of himself was far from the only one. Terushima can't really read his face at all, which makes him a little self conscious for some reason. He takes a sip of his coffee to distract himself and keep his hands from fidgeting with the loose string on his sleeve. 

When he finally finishes, he closes the book and slides it back over to Terushima. 

"You're really talented," he starts. "Your sketches are really realistic, almost kinda lively, ya know? I can only speak for the ones of myself about the details in them being spot on, but just in general your proportions are really well done. The wrinkles in the clothing look really natural too, which can be hard to do. I certainly can’t draw anything even close to this myself. Not my thing,” he chuckles dismissively. “I like your style too, something about it, I don't know."

Brown Eyes looks at Terushima with a shy grin, and Terushima knows he must be looking back with the stupidest expression of shock on his face, because _wow_. Who the fuck is this guy? No stranger has ever complimented or acknowledged anything specific about his art before, but this guy did just that in one breath like it was the only reasonable reaction, and damn does Terushima _feel_ it. He might even be the one blushing now.

"Thanks," Terushima manages to finally say. "Holy shit," he mutters shoving his hands in his hair and staring down at the sketches in disbelief like they can explain this to him.

"What?" Brown Eyes asks curiously, maybe even a little worried.

"It's nothing," Terushima assures him. "Just, who the hell _are_ you?"

***

"Sawamura Daichi," Daichi replies, a little confused by the way in which this guy had asked the question, like Daichi had just done something completely unbelievable. Had no one ever complimented his art before or something? Because that's a little hard to believe with the quality of the work, honestly.

"Sawamura Daichi," the guy repeats slowly, testing the words on his tongue. "That sounds familiar for some reason. I feel like I've seen you somewhere before," he says before quickly adding, "I'm Terushima, by the way. Terushima Yuuji."

"Wait, you mean you don't remember me?" Daichi asks with a straight face that immediately breaks back into a smile when he sees the mortification on Terushima's face. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding, don't worry," he chuckles out, and Terushima laughs back, a little strained.

"God, don't do that to me."

"Anyways," Daichi says, pondering what Terushima had said, "You do look a little familiar, but I'm not sure where you would've seen me. What school do you go to?"

"Johzenji High School," he replies, shifting to lean on his other hand. The school sounds familiar too. "I'm a second year there. Where do you go?"

"Karasuno, I'm a third year," Daichi replies. There's really only one other thing it could be unless this guy came into his work at some point. "Then, do you play volleyball?" 

"Yeah! That must be where I know you from!" Terushima answers loudly, slamming both hands onto the table. "I don't remember playing you in a match. I think I saw your school name on the bracket for the Spring Tournament qualifiers though, yeah?"

"Yeah, we haven't played you guys yet. We just made it through our preliminaries a little while ago."

"Oh, then I must've seen you there. We went to watch, but we don't actually play until qualifiers," Terushima explains. He must be on a pretty good team to skip preliminaries, though Daichi can't remember ever having to play them, so what makes them such a good team, he doesn't know.

***

From there they talk for a while about volleyball and actually get a pretty decent conversation going. Terushima learns that they're both the captains of their teams, Terushima having just received the title but Sawamura having been a captain all year. Apparently all their third years had decided to stay for the Spring Tournament, which is kind of impressive.

It's been a long time since Terushima has had a conversation this nice with anyone who isn't on his own team, or since someone has had anything interesting to say at all that isn't blatantly flirty. Sawamura is certainly a breath of fresh air, and Terushima could talk to him all day. 

He wants to talk more, but he forgot to eat breakfast and now he's starving. He can feel himself getting shaky. Though, that doesn't necessarily mean he can't still talk to this beautiful boy.

"Hey, I was about to go get some real lunch when you walked over. Care to join me?" Terushima asks with a grin, tilting his head to rest on his fist. “I know a good place down the street.”

"Sorry I can't," Sawamura answers apologetically, rubbing a hand through the hair on the back of his head. "I'm actually meeting a friend here. He should be here any minute."

"Just a friend?" Terushima inquires, loving how flustered it seems to make Sawamura.

"Uh, yeah, a team mate actually."

"In that case, can I have your number so we can continue this conversation some other time? I'd love to talk some more, Sawamura," Terushima says, sliding his pencil and the sketch across the table. 

"Sure," Sawamura replies, maybe sounding a little nervous as he writes his number on the bottom of the page. 

After that, they say their goodbyes and Terushima makes his exit, feeling better than he has all week. Not only did he see Brown Eyes again, but he got his favorite sketch back with the addition of a beautiful boy's number in the corner in neat, blocky handwriting. He nearly knocks someone over as he walks out the door, mumbling an apology, but still not paying much attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for comments, kudos, etc. I appreciate them all! I'll be back again next week with chapter three!


	3. The Waiting Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you really don’t want to, don’t even worry about it. We’ll text him for you.”
> 
> Before Terushima can even process the words, Futamata and Bobata are headed for the gym doors. Terushima springs frantically to life, sprinting to the closing doors and calling after the cackling duo, but it’s not like that really does much to stop them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with chapter three and we finally see some of my lovely Johzenji boys! As always, I hope you enjoy the update!

Daichi makes his way back to his own table, not even knowing what to do with himself. What even just happened? Somehow, finding out who drew this picture ended in an admittedly pretty attractive guy leaving here with Daichi's number. 

Why did he do that? I mean, it's not like it's really a bad thing, but the only people with Daichi's phone number are his team, his parents, his sister, and maybe one or two people from school that he had to do projects with. But what was he gonna do, say no? I mean what can he say, the guy was nice.

He barely even notices when Suga walks up and plops down in the chair across from him with a muffin and what must be some kind of tea. Suga only actually drinks coffee like twice a year when he gets a craving.

"Some guy almost ran me over on my way in here," Suga huffs as he slides off his sweater. "I mean, he said sorry, but he seriously wasn't even looking in front of him. Like at all. Anyways, did you find your mysterious coffee artist?" Suga coos sarcastically with a chuckle, sipping his tea.

"That was him," Daichi says, putting a hand over his face.

"Wait, _what_?” Suga exclaims, almost spitting out his tea and catching a drop with his hand before it can trail down his chin. “That was supposed to be a joke! Who?" Suga asks, looking around frantically.

"The guy you're talking about," Daichi explains, "He was the one who drew it."

The realization hits him and Suga's face lights up. "Wait seriously? I didn't think you'd actually see the person, let alone that I would literally run into them! So it's a guy though. Dammit, I wish I had gotten a better look at him. Was he hot? What's his name? What happened? Daichi. Daichi, what did he say?" Suga rambles, slowly leaning further and further over the table with an excited grin.

"Suga," Daichi groans. God, why did he even mention this? He doesn't actually want to explain any of this to Suga right now. It's not that big of a deal. Then again, Suga is the only person he can really tell since he’s the only one who already knows about all this nonsense.

"Daichi," Suga grunts, mimicking him. "Come on! You can't just say things like that and not explain yourself. I wanna know! Stuff like this only happens in movies!"

Daichi sighs, earning him a look from Suga, but replies nonetheless. "His name is Terushima Yuuji. He was drawing me last week and I caught him drawing me again today, which is how I found out that it was him. Happy now? Can we talk about something else?"

"No," Suga says, reaching across the table to punch Daichi hard in the arm. "What happened? Did you talk to him? What did you say? What did _he_ say? Did he ask you out or anything?" Suga fires off almost too quickly to be understandable.

"No, not really anyways--"

"Wait, not _really_? I was like half kidding when I asked! What does that even mean, Daichi?" Suga says, far too loud for the environment they're in.

"Suga, you're being way too loud," Daichi says and Suga just looks at him expectantly rather than saying anything. Daichi doesn't really stand a chance against that look. "Fine," he sighs and Suga jumps excitedly before settling his chin onto his hands and putting on the listening face.

"Okay, so I saw him while I was waiting for you, and he noticed me, and it was pretty obvious that he was the one drawing me. Then I walked over and asked if he was, which turned out to be correct. Like I said, pretty obvious. I found out the picture from before was definitely his drawing, and he was pretty excited to get it back actually. Then I looked at his sketchbook and we talked for a while," Daichi explains as quickly and casually as he can manage, like he wasn't totally nervous the entire time he was talking to that guy, the entire time he was looking at Daichi like that. Suga doesn't need to know how many _other_ sketches of himself he had seen either, and he doesn't need to know how happy that actually may or may not have made him.

"Talked?" Suga says with an off putting grin. "About what? What is he like? What did you find out about him? And where's the part where he asked you out?"

"He didn't actually ask me out. He was on his way out to get lunch and invited me, but I was waiting for you--"

"Daichi, you should've ditched me!" Suga shouts, slamming his hands down on the table, attracting a few glances.

"What?" Daichi asks, leaning back.

"You should've ditched me and gone with him!" Suga repeats. "I see you all the damn time, Daichi! Literally six days a week, minimum! But I can't even _remember_ the last time you hung out with someone who doesn't play volleyball, let alone a hot boy who likes to draw you that you actually enjoyed talking to!"

"Well technically he _does_ play volleyball, so this still wouldn't count," Daichi points out. "That's mostly what we talked about."

"Volleyball?" Suga says, raising his eyebrows. "Would I recognize him then? Do _you_ know him? Do explain."

Daichi sighs again, really wishing this conversation could be over already, with every question just leading to more. But again, he finds himself answering anyways. "I don't know him, and neither do you I don't think, but we might play his team in the qualifiers. I don't remember ever playing their team before that."

"And that team would be?"

"Johzenji. He's the captain apparently, even though he's a second year, because none of their third years stuck around for the Spring Tournament," Daichi explains.

"Another team's Captain, and a second year at that," Suga says with a smirk. "How scandalous," he chuckles, taking a sip of his drink.

"Suga, there's nothing scandalous about talking to somebody," Daichi protests duly. He knows that much is true, but he can feel his face heat up at the comment anyways. "And you're quite the hypocrite, speaking of scandals with second years," he adds with a grin as Suga acquires a blush of his own.

"So what if I have a crush?" Suga says defensively. "It's not like I'll ever do anything about it anyways. Even the one who's actually in our year. _Anyways_ , this isn't about me. I'm not done with this yet. Is this your way of saying you have a crush, Daichi?" Suga coos.

"I don't have a crush on some guy I just met."

"So, you're saying if you got to know him better, you _could_ have a crush?"

"I literally never said that."

"But you aren't denying it," Suga points out, and Daichi is a little surprised because he isn't denying it, is he? He really can't deny that he wants to talk to Terushima more, and he can't say that he didn't like something about him when they talked. So maybe it would be nice to get to know him, especially since Terushima seemed to want to see Daichi again anyways.

But to have a crush on him? He actually doesn't know. Sure, Daichi has never dated a guy before, but Daichi hasn't dated that many girls before either. He's too busy most of the time. But the notion of dating a guy has never seemed wrong to him in any way, or any different from dating a girl for that matter, so the same concept should apply to having a crush. But is this even a crush?

Daichi had only talked to this guy once. As much as he hates to admit it, even if it's only to himself, he was definitely more than a little flattered that someone had drawn him, especially that many times. It makes him happy in a way he can't really explain.

Not to mention he'd actually been kind of nervous around Terushima, which doesn't happen to him a lot. But is that because he was talking to a complete stranger about a kind of weird situation, or because he was talking to an attractive stranger, and actually having a really good conversation that he can’t really say he wanted to end? Shit, wait, attractive? Is that really the right word? Actually, it probably _is_ , and Daichi isn't sure how to feel about that. He doesn't know if he's ever thought another guy was attractive like that.

"I'm going to take your long contemplative silence as a yes," Suga says, pulling Daichi out of his thoughts. 

"Maybe? I don't know," Daichi says, slumping down in his chair. "You said it yourself, it's been a really long time since I've had any kind of social life, let alone a love life. I mean, yeah he was kind of attractive--"

"Woah, wait, wait," Suga interrupts holding up a hand.

"What?"

"I've just never in my life heard you admit that you think a guy is attractive out loud. Or anyone really," Suga says as he seems to contemplate something, leaning his head in his hand and finally beginning to pick at the muffin he bought. "Do you actually like guys?"

"I've never said I'm _not_ attracted to guys," Daichi points out. "I mean, it's not something I ever really considered much before in all honesty, but I also never ruled out the option. Just because I've never dated a guy doesn't mean I never will. I haven't dated many girls either," he continues with a shrug. For some reason it feels like he has to justify something, even though he knows with Suga there’s really no need. "We've already established I have no love life, and no time for one either, honestly. I don’t know if I want to do that again."

That's certainly true. Between volleyball practice almost everyday, work, and his school work, he has practically no time free. He's in high level classes, with even higher expectations that he has to meet in order to keep playing volleyball. His father already disapproves of the hobby that takes up so much of his time, says he should be preparing for college instead of wasting his time with something as unnecessary as a sports club. Daichi had to fight just to be able to play in the Spring Tournament. It’s the only thing he’d actually argued for in a long time.

That might be one of the reasons why Daichi doesn't date much at all, or why he’s hesitant to even try, especially since starting his third year. Between the pressure to be a good leader for the team he cares about so much and the pressure to excel academically so he can stay a part of that team, he doesn't have much time to dedicate to another person. It kind of sucks, but he doesn't want to let anybody down like that again. And he can’t risk having a distraction to throw off his carefully balanced time.

“No,” Suga says almost like he’s scolding him, “Don’t make that face,” 

“What face? I’m not making a face.”

“Yes you are. It’s that face you make when you’re thinking too hard,” Suga replies quickly. “And I’m not letting you think yourself out of an opportunity like this. You said he plays volleyball right?" Suga asks, like this somehow solves his problem.

"Yeah, why?"

“And you said he’s a captain too, right?”

“Suga, where are you going with this?” Daichi asks, a little surprised at how much he actually wants to know, how much he wants a solution for once.

“Well, that means he's also trying to prepare his team for the qualifiers," Suga continues, folding the muffin wrapper. "In other words, he has just as little free time as you do, so it’s not like he’ll be sitting around waiting for you all the time. I know you're afraid you don't have enough time for someone else in your life, Daichi, but this time it's someone who will actually be busy when you are. It’s okay to give yourself a chance for once."

"Oh," Daichi says, realizing that might actually be true. He might be kind of interested in someone that could actually be realistic for him to maybe date if he decided he wanted to. He doesn't even know what to do with that information. 

"So, is he someone you actually want to see again?" Suga asks after taking a sip from his tea, reminding Daichi he still has about half a coffee left, forgotten next to him on the table.

"Probably," Daichi admits with a sheepish grin, hiding it behind the cup as he takes a sip. It’s cold.

"Did you get his number?" Suga asks with raised eyebrows.

"No actually, but he has mine. He asked me for it when I said I couldn't do lunch, but he left right after that," Daichi explains. His stomach sinks a little realizing this is all just a waiting game now, and who knows if he'll actually try to get in touch again or not? Daichi has no say in the matter now.

He realizes with a heavy feeling in his chest that a lot of the pages in that sketch book had numbers on them, and Daichi starts to think that maybe he should just forget about this before it even starts. Maybe this is a bad idea. "Half the sketches in his book had numbers on them. He probably won't call anyways," Daichi repeats out loud, because for some reason he feels like he needs to.

"Wow, way to be pessimistic, right out of the gate."

"Well sorry for not wanting to get my hopes up," Daichi fires back with a little more heat that he meant. "I'd rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed," he continues, softer this time.

"I guess so. But maybe he never calls any of those people and he calls you," Suga suggests optimistically with a stupid grin on his face. "You don't even know if he asked for their numbers or if all those people just gave him their number and he was being polite. Seems likely, I’m still picturing him super hot. Maybe he's never even called one of those numbers before."

"And maybe he never will, myself included," Daichi says, suddenly feeling all his earlier hope draining away. God, he was stupid for even considering this. "Or what if he calls all the numbers, and I'm just one in a meaningless million?" God, when did this ever sound like a good idea? The more he thinks about it, the worse it seems to get.

"Daichi, you're overthinking this and you’re killing it with all these what if’s," Suga says, punching him in the arm and knocking him out of his dark mood. He probably is. Maybe this can still be a good thing. He wants it to be. Is that really so much to ask? "Just try to forget about it for a while. If he calls or texts you or something, go from there."

Daichi nods. Maybe Suga could be right, who knows? Either way, that's all he really can do now anyways. Just wait.

 

He knows he’s supposed to be ignoring this whole ordeal for now, but that’s turning out to be way harder than Daichi feels like it should be. He can’t help the fact that it’s on his mind. He wouldn’t even really call it a crush like Suga wants to. It’s just been a really long time since he’s met anyone new in general, let alone someone that’s actually interesting and good to talk to. The fact that he’s also nice to look at is just a bonus.

Is it really such a big deal to hope that Terushima will actually talk to him again, or that he actually wants him to? Is it so out of this world to think that maybe he could be more than just another face in his sketch book, or that he could have a friend outside of his tiny social circle? Is it really that crazy of him to miss having a love life, under all the apprehension? Daichi doesn’t even know why he’s trying so hard to justify this to himself. It doesn’t matter.

Well, it shouldn’t, but for some reason it does matter. As he zips his bag closed after practice he checks his phone, and again, there are no messages. It’s not like he expected there to be but it’s still kind of disappointing.

***

Terushima really wants to talk to Brown Eyes again, or Sawamura now actually. He still can’t even believe he exists, that he's a real person with a real name, one that he actually talked to. He’s something so unexpected but it’s kind of the best. He’s interesting and different in a way Terushima can’t really describe, but he can’t get enough of it. He wants to be around him all the time, even though that’s a pretty unrealistic thing to want considering how busy of a person he is and how busy Sawamura seemed. That’s part of the problem.

He could always text him or something, but he feels obligated to talk to him in person for some reason. He actually wants to _see_ him again. Seeing him through paper wasn’t enough, and talking to him through a phone feels the same. He’s never really felt the need to have any sort of connections with the people he sketches afterwards. He can remember one or two that he hooked up with, and a few that let him draw them again, but nothing that’s ever lasted.

But that’s never really bothered him, which is why this is so weird, because he kind of _wants_ this to last. He’s so used to short connections that burn out quick or fade away. That’s just how he lives his life now, but he doesn’t want things to just end this time and he’s not really sure what to do about that. Sawamura isn’t just an attractive guy, he’s actually _interesting_ and _real_. It’s incredible. Terushima isn’t just tempted to kiss him but to get to know him, really know him. There’s just _something_ about him, but Terushima doesn’t know what. He’s such a puzzle to Terushima, and he wants to solve it.

“Dude, you’ve been quiet way too long to be normal. What the hell is wrong with you?” Bobata asks, snapping Terushima out of his thoughts. He's peering down at him with a hand on his hip and a disbelieving expression on his face. 

“Kazuma, how do you actually hang out with someone for real when you have no free time?” Terushima asks from his position on the gym floor.

“You always seem to find time somewhere. What’s so different now?” Bobata asks as Futamata walks up behind him.

“Yeah but it’s different. I want to actually, like, get to _know_ this person, you know what I mean?” Terushima says, laughing a little to himself. “I don’t even know what I mean.”

“Teru, are you asking Bobata how to go on a date?” Futamata chimes in incredulously. That’s weird. Terushima didn’t really think of it like that until now. He’s been with a lot of people but he can’t remember the last time he actually went on any kind of real date. Is that what he’s asking?

“I don’t know,” Terushima answers honestly, now more confused than before.

“Wait, hold on,” Bobata says, moving to sit on the bench. “So, you actually met someone. And _you_ , Terushima Yuuji, want to go on a real _date_ with this person? Like the whole deal?” 

“I think so,” Terushima replies, almost as surprised with himself as Bobata and Futamata seem to be. He doesn’t really know why it’s so hard to believe, but at the same time, it’s not like him at all. He’s kind of weirding himself out, but Sawamura is really something else. Something new.

“Wait, who the fuck did you even meet?” Bobata asks.

“Oh, is it that guy you’ve been drawing non stop? The one from the coffee place?” Futamata says before Terushima can answer and he feels his face get a little hot at the realization that other people had noticed. “It is, isn’t it!” He exclaims when Terushima forgets to answer.

“Man you really like this guy, huh?”

“I don’t even know!” Terushima groans, rolling onto his face. “He’s just so much different than all the other people I’ve met. I mean yeah he was hot, but god, you should’ve heard the things he said about my drawings. It’s like the universe finally decided I was worthy of someone _capable of original thought_. It’s so damn _refreshing_ , ya know what I mean? I could’ve talked to him forever,” he mumbles into the floor, mostly to himself. “And it’s frustrating because I have no clue what to do about this beautiful enigma that just strolled into my life as if he’s not making me insane!” he yells, tugging on his earrings with frustration.

“So, what exactly is the issue?” Futamata asks curiously.

The issue? The issue is that he’s never met anyone like Sawamura, so how is he supposed to go about trying to get to know him, let alone actually getting to any kind of a relationship? He’s been with more people than he sometimes likes to admit, none of those people are anything like him at all. How is he supposed to use any of that experience to keep Sawamura around?

The thing is, when relationships like that ended, he never really minded much. They came and they went, that was it. It was fun for a while and then it was over. Most of the time it was a mutual thing, the ending. Half the time there were no real beginnings either. It’s not like he ever got really attached to anyone anyways, doesn’t like to. But the thought of just losing Sawamura like that is different somehow because he actually would care for once, and he barely knows the guy. But that’s part of it too. He wants so badly to figure him out. This can’t be the end of it already, it just started.

“I don’t want to ruin it,” Terushima finally answers with a sigh. “What if I scare him away?”

“Well, if you’re seriously that worried about it, just let him set the pace or whatever,” Bobata says with a shrug. “Just wait until he texts you or something.”

Shit.

“Teru, you look like you just got hit by a bus,” Futamata says, raising his eyebrows in an unspoken question. “Bobata, has he stopped breathing, or is it just me?”

“He doesn’t have my number!” Terushima exclaims, sitting straight up and throwing his hands in his hair. “I got his number but I forgot to give him my number and it’s been almost a whole week! What if he thinks I’m an asshole or something now?” God, that would really suck. “Plus now I _have_ to be the one to text him first! Why am I so stupid?”

“Couldn’t tell ya,” Bobata says laughing, but he stops when Terushima doesn’t even comment back. “Chill out, he probably won’t even care,” he assures him, though it’s not very assuring. “He has a life. It’s not like he’s just sitting in a dark room staring at his phone screen, waiting for a text from you.”

That much is true at least. Sawamura did mention that he was a pretty busy person, and as the captain of a volleyball team in the middle of a tournament, that would make sense, especially since he’s a third year. Still, Terushima feels bad that he’s had to just wait around for Terushima’s response. What is he even going to say if he texts him? God, what if he says the wrong thing.

“You should text him soon, though. Actually, on second thought,” Futamata adds with a grin that can’t mean anything good is about to happen. He shares a look with Bobata that Terushima can’t read beyond the fact that there’s mischief coming his way. “If you really don’t want to, don’t even worry about it. We’ll text him for you.”

Before Terushima can even process the words, Futamata and Bobata are headed for the gym doors. Terushima springs frantically to life, sprinting to the closing doors and calling after the cackling duo, but it’s not like that really does much to stop them. Oh god, he doesn’t even want to know what they’re gonna do if they manage to find Sawamura’s number.

Luckily he’s a little faster than the two of them, so by the time he gets to the locker room, they’ve only just opened his locker. 

“Shit, he’s here. Quick, quick,” Futamata laughs out as Bobata fishes around in Terushima’s bag, presumably for his phone.

Terushima runs over, almost knocking over Numajiri on the way. As he gets to his locker, Bobata finally pulls out his phone and tries to get away with it, but Terushima manages to grab his shirt. “Kazuma, give it back!” he squawks as he fumbles to grab the phone from him. Bobata is practically carrying him on his back with how far Terushima is leaning over him when he finally gets his fingertips on the device, only to have it swiped away by Futamata. Where the hell did he even come from?

Terushima pretty much leaps the rest of the way over Bobata to chase after Futamata, almost face planting, but luckily he catches himself before the concrete floor can introduce itself to his face. He lunges for the phone, but of course, it’s not that easy.

“Jiri, catch!” Futamata says as he tosses the phone to Numajiri, and thank god for his reflexes.

“Jiri, give it to me, come on!” Terushima whines, but he only gets a snicker in response. “Oh come on, you too? Three on one? How is that fair?” he complains, now chasing after Numajiri. 

“It’s not supposed to be,” Bobata remarks from… above him? He stops in his tracks, turning around to see Bobata sitting on top of the lockers just as Numajiri tosses him the phone.

“I swear to god, if you guys break my phone or something,” Terushima warns, scrambling to reach Bobata as he squirms away.

“Don’t worry, it’s in good hands,” Bobata snickers with a stupid, smug little smirk.

“Yeah, I’ll believe that when Tsucchi breaks one hundred seventy centimeters.”

“Hey, I can hear you, idiots!” Tsuchiyu shouts from somewhere across the locker room as Terushima scrambles to get high enough on the lockers to reach Bobata, who just keeps inching away.

“Found it!” Futamata calls out from somewhere behind him.

Terushima pretty much falls off the lockers because the only thing that Futamata could have found is Sawamura’s number, and they can’t do anything stupid if they don’t have that. God, he shouldn’t have even been wasting his time with this. _So stupid_. Futamata starts reading out digits and Terushima literally dives over the bench to his locker where he’s sitting over his open bag with Terushima’s sketchbook in his hands.

“Guys this isn’t even funny!” Terushima shouts desperately as he tries to get his sketchbook from Futamata. He’s completely on top of him as he tries to grab it, but at the same time he’s trying really hard not to destroy it considering it’s already falling apart. 

“Takeharu,” Terushima warns, “This is pretty much my first born child we’re fighting over right now. If anything happens to this sketchbook, I promise you, there will be god damn blood.”

“Then stop fighting for it,” Futamata wheezes out as the air is forced from his lungs by Terushima’s weight.

“Never,” the competitive side of him replies without a second thought as he pulls one of Futamata’s arms behind him and reaches for the book again. God, it’s so damn close but he can’t fucking reach it. “Just give up already!” he screeches impatiently while he pins the arm beneath one of his legs so he has two arms to use again.

“Never,” Futamata chuckles, just as stubbornly.

He starts to read the number out loud again, quicker this time, and Terushima is forced to abandon the book to cover his mouth with his hands. Thankfully it actually works and you can’t hear more than muffled sounds. He tries to shake him off, but he really isn’t in any kind of position to do so. Suddenly the sounds stop altogether and something warm is on the palm of Terushima’s hand.

“Oh come on, Takeharu. Really?” Terushima says raising his eyebrows at him even though Futamata can’t even see his face with the angle he’s at. “I’m disappointed in you. It’s gonna take more than just licking my hand to gross me out. You insult me.”

Futamata ends up just wriggling around uselessly and Terushima lets out a relieved breath as he finally reaches out one hand to grab the book. Crisis averted.

That is until Numajiri comes back from wherever the hell he disappeared to and effortlessly snatches the book, reading the number off before Terushima’s mind has even caught up to what just happened. He doesn’t even react until he hears the sound indicating that the message has already been sent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tags don't lie. It truly is the slowest of slow burns, sorry (...not really). Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this! Thank you for leaving kudos, comments, etc, they make my day. See you next week for chapter four!


	4. Day and Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forgetting. He’s supposed to be forgetting about this. Why is it so damn hard?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where this story finally gets it's name. I hope you enjoy the update!

Daichi waves goodbye to Suga as they go their separate ways home. He puts in his earbuds and sighs heavily as the silence is filled with soft music. He recognizes it as one of the songs Asahi plays all the time. He tries to get lost in it as his body takes him home on autopilot, tries to just listen as the lyrics begin and the streetlights guide the way. But it’s his own head that’s too loud today, full of thoughts that insist they have his full attention, like static drowning out the music he tries to cling to.

No matter where he is or how goddamn busy he is, somehow Terushima makes it back into his head. It’s kind of stupid, being this hung up on one person, especially someone he barely met. 

Maybe that’s it. He hasn’t really met anyone new in a long time, let alone a mystery like Terushima. Sure, he was pretty straight forward when they talked, but at the same time Daichi can’t shake the feeling that he’s so much more than what he seems, what he tries to show to people. Well, how could he not be? No one is just what they seem like on the surface. He doesn’t know anything about him, but he _wants_ to.

It’s strange, he can’t remember the last time he actually thought about one person this much. Terushima is pretty remarkable in real life. Something about him just commands your attention. He’s no different in Daichi’s head. He knows he’s supposed to be forgetting about this, should be, considering how long it’s been since he asked for Daichi’s number in the first place, but Terushima is on his mind more than he’d like to admit.

Daichi wants to figure him out, but it’s starting to look like a less likely possibility every day that goes by with no word from him. Maybe he’s just overthinking this. It probably hasn’t even been _that_ long, but it feels like it has. And he seemed like a busy person, Daichi can understand that for sure. Maybe he just hasn’t had the time yet. 

Still, there’s always the possibility he’ll never get in touch. It’s not an option that Daichi likes to entertain for very long, but it’s not something he can’t ignore either. You can’t always be pessimistic, but constant false hope is just as bad. They’re opposite ends of a spectrum. 

Terushima is the one who wanted to keep talking to Daichi in the first place though. That has to count for something. Maybe he’s already forgotten about him in that sea of people he keeps in that book. It’s weird to him how much he resents being just another face in a book of people. He can’t help wondering if this would be different if he had taken his offer for lunch, just gone for it for once. 

This really shouldn’t matter. Hell, he wouldn’t even be in this situation if he had surpassed that picture, wouldn’t even have the slightest awareness of his presence in the sketchbook to begin with. Maybe ignorance is bliss. But then he wouldn’t have met Terushima either. Is that good or bad? Maybe--

Forgetting. He’s supposed to be forgetting about this. Why is it so damn hard? This is new territory for Daichi and as of right now, he’s not too fond of it. It’s like an itch he can’t scratch. God, he has to stop thinking about this. Terushima is just one guy that he talked to once. He _knows_ it shouldn’t really matter this much, but for some reason it does. He’s not sure why, maybe he never will be. There’s just something about him that Daichi can’t even describe. He tries to explain it, justify this even to himself, but he just can’t.

It’s just something, something that makes him impossible to forget, no matter how many times Daichi decides that he really should. That’s when his phone vibrates in his pocket. 

He’s really glad that no one is around to see how quickly he grabs it, nearly dropping it on the sidewalk. He catches it by the cord of his earbuds, startled at the sudden silence when they’re yanked out of his ears. The phone pulls itself free of the headphones, falling three inches with a clatter as opposed to three feet with an unfortunate smash. He lets out a long breath he wasn’t aware he was holding, the last few bugs of this fall creating a chorus that fills the silence. 

At this point he’s fully expecting it to be his mom or someone from the team. That’s what it always is, though he can’t help but hope otherwise.

 **Unknown Number:** Hey, sorry I completely forgot you didn’t have my number! This is Terushima from the bookstore

Daichi probably reads it three times before he’s convinced it’s real. Now he’s really glad no one is around, because the grin on his face as he finally continues his walk must be stupid as hell. It’s not that big of a deal. But it really is.

***

“Come on, what do you say?” Bobata coos over his shoulder like an expectant mother trying to teach her kid manners. He dangles Terushima’s phone between two fingers and holds it out to him.

“I’m not thanking you for any of that!” Terushima squawks as he finally snatches his phone back without resistance. He quickly goes to his messages, prepared for the worst, but surprisingly, it’s not even anything embarrassing or devastating. He reads it again just to make sure he’s not seeing things, but it’s there, a decent message. It’s better than any stupid thing he would’ve said, but he won’t ever admit that.

“Hey don’t look so surprised! Give us some credit, Teru,” Futamata chips in from where he’s currently putting Terushima’s sketchbook back into his backpack where he found it. “We can actually be good friends when we need to be.”

“Yeah,” Bobata agrees, crossing his arms. “This is a moment in history, why would we mess this up?”

“I’m still not thanking you. I’m gonna be bruised tomorrow,” Terushima huffs right as his phone vibrates in his hands. They both reach for the phone and he holds it protectively to his chest before either of them can snatch it. No. He is _not_ dealing with that again. “I swear to god if either of you touch my phone right now,” he warns, voice dripping with venom.

“Alright, alright, just show us what he said,” Futamata surrenders, pulling his hands away and already trying to peek over his shoulder. Terushima just sighs and opens the text. 

**Teru’s Magic Dream Boy:** Don’t worry about it!

 **Teru’s Magic Dream Boy:** It was a really busy week for me anyways

“Wow, great name, Kazuma,” Terushima chuckles, already going to change it.

“Hey, don’t change it! Rude.”

Futamata nudges Terushima’s shoulder. “Hey look, he doesn’t even hate you!” 

“Well that’s a start.” Terushima can’t help but smile because it is a start, a start that a week ago he thought he would never even get.

 

There’s finally a plan, an actual day in time to look forward to as opposed to a dream of someday in the future. Terushima has wanted to actually see Sawamura again ever since he first left him in that cafe, and he finally can. He was honestly just excited that Sawamura even wanted to get together again, that he wasn’t lying about his friend to get out of lunch.

It took at least an hour of back and forth over text just to figure something out around both of their schedules. With Sawamura having work after school three days a week, Terushima having work on weekends, and both of them having practice or most of the time, they finally just decided to get breakfast next Saturday before Terushima's shift at the diner. 

Ever since they set it up, there’s just been this strange mixture of relief that worrying about this is over, and an endless restlessness inside of him just waiting for it to finally be Saturday.

He’s happy that it’s just as easy to talk to Sawamura over text as it is to talk to him in person. Though as he flops down on his bed, he can’t help but think that despite how easy it is, it’s not the same. Something about the way Sawamura is in person is purely indescribable, and ever since he met him, he’s wanted to experience that all the time.

Texting is convenient and useful, but there’s no life in it. You can try really hard, but the feeling isn’t quite there. He doesn’t like it as much as a voice in his ear over the phone, or better yet seeing the person. Maybe Terushima can just be old fashioned sometimes. Maybe it’s an old habit, Masumi rubbing of on him. He smiles at the thought. She was really something else too.

He lays there for a minute, eyes catching on the moon through the gap in his curtains while contemplating the answer to the last text Sawamura sent. He’s always thought the moon is pretty in a way that nothing else is. His room is great just because the moon always peeks through the big window above his shelf.

Terushima looks back down at his phone eventually, still no message sent. It’s been kind of a long time without a reply from himself now. Way to go, getting distracted again. His thumbs hover over the keyboard but he finally can’t take it anymore and just calls before he can decide against it. He can’t help but be a little nervous as it rings, that maybe Sawamura won’t pick up, or will think calling is weird when texting was working just fine. It’s stupid to worry about things like that, weird that he’s worrying at all, but he does for a second anyways.

***

Daichi lets out a sigh as he jots a quick note down on his calendar. It’s such a relief to finally have a plan to meet up with Terushima again. A few hours ago he didn’t even think he would be able to talk to him again and it feels so good not having those thoughts weighing him down anymore, there's enough weighing him down already. He’s actually kind of excited about this. It feels good.

He’s about to go back to the homework abandoned on his bed when the sound of his phone ringing startles him. It’s kind of a weird time of night for someone to be calling him, but maybe it’s just Suga with something to rant about or some question to ask. That’s happened more than a few times, though he’s surprised to see it’s not Suga’s name lighting up the screen.

 _“Hey Sawamura, can you see the moon from where you are?”_ Terushima asks suddenly through the phone right as he picks up, before Daichi even has his mouth open to say hello. 

“What?” Daichi asks, knowing he probably heard him right but still wondering why he’s calling now and why they’re suddenly talking about the moon. Though, he feels like it shouldn’t be that surprising.

 _“The moon, can you see it from your house? Or are there like trees in the way or something?”_ Terushima asks like it’s a completely normal question to ask out of the blue, that Daichi should be able to know the answer to right away. Maybe he should. It’s not really something he’s thought about before though.

“Umm, hold on,” Daichi says skeptically, surprised at himself that those are the words that come out of his mouth. He’s pretty certain he meant to ask why this conversation is even happening, but instead he only finds himself turning to the window.

He goes to the window that’s across the room first, but he can’t see the moon anywhere in the sky from there, which feels a little more disappointing than it should for something he’s never thought about before. There are some trees and he really hopes it’s not behind them. He crosses the room to his bed where his homework is still spread out. He peers out that window, and to his pleasure, the moon is staring back at him. He’d never really noticed it before. Well, he must have noticed it, but it’s not something he’s ever acknowledged or actively thought about. It’s just there, like it always is. But maybe he should think about it more?

“Yeah, I can see it,” Daichi finally remembers to respond. “Why?”

 _“Are you looking at it right now?”_ Terushima asks like this is an extremely important detail, completely ignoring Daichi’s question. 

“Yeah, why?” Daichi asks again, growing more curious by the second about why any of this is important right now.

 _“I don’t know,”_ Terushima answers honestly. _“I was just looking at the moon. Does there have to be a reason?”_

Daichi doesn’t even know what to say to that. There doesn’t really _need_ to be a reason, which is really weird to think about. It kind of makes him wonder if he should do stuff like that more often, just because. He didn’t ever acknowledge that he can see the moon from his room before today. He can’t even decide if that’s something he should’ve done before. It hadn’t actually ever occurred to him that there are places where you can’t see it. 

_“I just think it’s kind of cool, ya know?”_ Terushima says, bringing Daichi back to reality.

“What is, the moon?”

 _“Well yeah, but not just that. Just thinking about the fact that we’re both looking at the same moon right now. We’re so far away from each other, yet we’re both looking at this thing at the same time. That’s kind of wild, don’t you think?”_ he says with a weird tone to his voice, like a mixture between childlike wonder and the wisdom of someone way older than him.

“I’ve never thought about that before,” Daichi replies slowly, looking up at the moon like if he stares long enough it’ll tell him something else he didn’t know. It’s kind of amazing though, what Terushima said, and even just the fact that he said it. It’s not the kind of thing Daichi sits around thinking about, which makes him wonder if Terushima has thought about this before or if he just thought of that right now.

 _“It’s even weirder to think about how many people can see the moon right now,”_ Terushima continues with an excitement that makes Daichi smile. _“There’s you and me, but think of all the people who could see the moon right now if they just looked up. So many! And think about how many of those people are actually looking at the moon too, right now. Even just a glance. Thousands of people, Sawamura! Thousands of people could be looking at the same exact thing right now._

 _“And I guess that’s probably happened with other things, but the fact that all the people are so far apart that they can’t even see each other is crazy! And it’s not like a show people across the world are watching, it’s a real, physical thing. This one thing is connecting all these people right now and most of them aren’t even thinking about that! God, sorry I’m ranting about stupid shit for no reason. Were you in the middle of something? You can go now if you want, it’s getting late,”_ he says with an awkward chuckle. 

“No,” Daichi says, surprised at how fast he protests. “I don’t mind at all, and I seriously don’t think it’s stupid. It’s kind of amazing to me that you even think about all this stuff. Keep going, I’m gonna finish my math homework, but I promise I’m listening.”

And he does. He listens and listens to the enthusiastic thoughts of this guy he’s barely even met while he rants about the sense of togetherness created by the moon that Daichi never gave a second thought until today. He listens for a long time, talks for a long time, and it feels so unlike anything he’s ever experienced. It’s spontaneous and easy and there’s no real reason for it but it feels so nice to just talk. There’s never a beat of silence or tension, just an endless flow of words.

Terushima is so unlike anything he’s ever experienced. Ever let himself experience. 

 

It’s Friday and the excitement of going to breakfast with Terushima has finally faded to nervousness. It’s been so long since he’s done anything like this with someone who he doesn’t see literally every day of his life. God, he is not as prepared for this as he had hoped. He can’t even remember the last time he had to get to know someone or worry about his impression. There’s the first years, but that’s his team and he has authority. This is different.

“Daichi?” Suga asks, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Are you gonna eat your lunch, or are you getting enough sustenance from staring holes through that tree?” he chuckles. Daichi looks from his untouched food to Suga and Asahi’s lunches, nearly gone. Shit, how long was he spacing out?

“Is something wrong?” Asahi asks as Daichi finally begins to eat.

“Or is something right?” Suga asks before Daichi can wave off the concern of his friend. Suga raises his eyebrows with a smirk, earning him a confused look from Asahi. Daichi almost chokes on his rice, coughing as he looks back in forth between his friends. “Wait, am I actually right again?” Suga continues excitedly.

Daichi glances between the two. Even though Daichi gives Asahi a hard time sometimes, he’s still one of his best friends. So he wonders if he should tell Asahi about Terushima right now and just get it off his chest, or if it’s better to spare him the stress of having to keep a secret from the rest of the team. As he contemplates this, Asahi seems to realize something in the long silence, eyes widening as he nearly jumps out of his seat at the picnic table.

“Oh, I can leave if you guys don’t want me to hear or anything,” he says hurriedly, already collecting his things. “I don’t mind, if it’s personal or something, I don’t know. I have some homework that I can go do anyways--”

“Asahi, sit back down,” Daichi sighs, deciding that the anxiety Asahi will get worrying over what he did wrong is probably worse than having to keep a secret. “It’s fine, I just don’t really want you telling anyone else, okay?” Asahi pauses in his scrambled attempt to escape, looking between the two of them like he’s unsure which option is worse, staying or going. Suga reaches up and grabs his arm, pulling on his sleeve, drawing Asahi’s worried gaze down to him.

“Come on Asahi,” Suga whines. “I need someone else to be able to talk to about this, it’s been killing me.” With a few more pulls on his sleeve, Asahi slowly sits back down with a sigh and puts all his stuff back on the table in a heap. The sleeve of his jacket falls over the edge and Daichi tucks it neatly back onto the table in the silence where Asahi seems to be mentally preparing himself.

“Okay,” he says quietly “So, what’s going on exactly?”

 

“Wait, you’re actually going on a date?” Suga exclaims, slamming his hands on the table.

“It’s not a date,” Daichi says, already wishing this conversation would be over. Or maybe that he could just melt into the ground, either one.

“The two of you are going out to breakfast, alone, just for the sake of getting to know each other better and being around each other in general. That doesn’t sound like a date to you?” Okay, put like that, maybe it does sound a little bit like a date, but this is not a date. 

“I’m not going on a date with some guy I literally just met. Why can’t I just hang out with a person and get to know them without it being a date?” Daichi asks, sounding a lot more defensive than he intended. "That's also how you make friends."

“Maybe because you said he’s attractive?” Suga says with a devious grin as Daichi feels his face heat up the slightest bit.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Daichi dismisses quickly. “You guys are attractive people, but that doesn’t mean I want to date you-- in my case, anyways.” He shoots a glance at Suga who goes even redder than Daichi must be at the comment. Suga has been harboring a crush on Asahi since sometime their first year, though he’s never done anything about it. Maybe it was a little bit cruel, but it’s payback for purposely bringing all this up in front of Asahi in the first place. It’s not like Asahi even noticed any weirdness in the exchange anyways.

“Okay, then maybe it’s just the fact that he pretty much already asked you out once after he was hardcore flirting with you, or that he’s obviously really into you, and even though you won’t say it, you’re already really into him. And maybe, I can tell you like him because you’re my best friend and I haven’t seen you open up like this in all the years I’ve known you!” Suga shoots back impatiently. 

Daichi doesn’t know what to say to that. Suga is probably right, about him opening up. He can’t even remember the last time he felt this way about somebody, even if he can’t say what this feeling _is_ yet. Maybe he does like him, but how is he even supposed to know that? He barely knows what kind of person Terushima is. He could be a total psychopath for all he knows.

And even if this isn’t a date, it’s been a long time since he’s considered some of the things Suga is suggesting. God, how long has it been since he’s actually thought about going on a date with someone, even if it is just a thought? Or even just been looking forward to talking to someone like he is now, just wanting to hang out and hear what they have to say? How long since he’s let anyone new in? He doesn’t know.

It’s been so long since he’s had any sort of love life, or kind of missed having one. He’s been focusing on school, work, volleyball, immersing himself in it to the point where he doesn’t even think about making time for someone else. How is he supposed to just make time? He’s tried, it’s never enough. He can’t do that, and he can’t expect anyone else to be happy with that. No one is ever happy in a relationship like that.

“I’m happy for you either way,” Asahi cuts in, sensing the strange tension. “But, um, if it isn’t a date,” he begins tentatively, trailing off. And avoiding Daichi’s eyes.

“What?”

“Well I don’t doubt that it’s not a date. I believe you, but I don’t think it matters,” he continues, earning a look from Suga that Daichi can’t even begin to read. “But if it isn’t, do you want it to be?”

“I don’t know,” Daichi sighs out, resting his head heavily in one hand. Honestly, he really doesn’t know. How is he supposed to answer all these questions when he can’t answer any of them for himself yet? 

Well, he doesn’t have to right now anyways, because the bell rings, signaling the end of what feels like the longest lunch of his life. The bell may have saved him from the endless stream of questions his friends would have surely kept asking, but it doesn’t save him from all the thoughts crashing through his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, next week there will finally actually be a (not) date! Until then, thank you for reading, comments, kudos, etc. I hope you enjoy your week!


	5. Not A Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re lying,” she giggles. “It’s totally a date.”
> 
> “It’s not.”
> 
> “Are you in love?” she asks, spinning in a little circle and ignoring him completely.
> 
> “It’s not even a--”
> 
> “Yuuji is in love!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS LATE. I was visiting my sibling this weekend and I just got back last night but the wi-fi of the train wasn't working and by the time I got home I pretty much just fell asleep. But, this is the longest chapter so far so I hope that makes up for it a little bit? Anyways, we finally get to the (not) date so I hope you enjoy!

Daichi looks at himself in the mirror again. He never thought he would be one of those people, caring so much about what they look like just to go see other people. It’s not the kind of thing that usually matters to him, but he’s also usually only around people who already know what kind of person he is, regardless of the impression he makes with the outfit he has on. Hell, most of the people he hangs out with are used to seeing him sweating his ass off at practice or lounging around in pajamas. The bar is pretty low.

So it surprises him when he forgets his phone in the bathroom and takes the time to second guess his reflection. It’s just a good pair of jeans and one of his favorite shirts. Nothing too fancy, nothing too casual. It’s fine for breakfast. It’s fine.

He grabs his phone and leaves the room before he can think himself into changing six more times. He grabs his jacket off the chair where he left it, sliding it on as he checks to make sure all the doors are locked. His parents are both at work and will be when he gets back, so he grabs his keys off the hook before he can forget. 

He’s right on time as he slides on his shoes and double checks to make sure he has everything. Phone, wallet, keys. Good. Is the back door locked? It definitely is. He knows he locked it. Should he check? No, he’s sure. He’s about to leave, but his mind is nagging him to go back and check. Fine. It’s locked, just like he thought. Good. Perfect, now he can leave.

He steps out the door into the crisp air, locking it behind him before setting out on his walk. No one is home to drive him, so walking was really the only option, which he doesn’t mind, but he’s not thrilled about it either. He likes going on walks, but all it does is give him more time to think, which isn’t always a good thing. It’s not super far though. 

Actually, one of the best parts about this whole thing is that Terushima suggested one of Daichi’s favorite places for the location. It’s a little American-style diner in the next town over, and apparently Terushima works there on weekends. Daichi can’t remember him ever working when he was there, but that’s not actually too hard to believe. He likes the place a lot, but he doesn’t actually get a chance to go that often anymore. He’s kind of excited to eat there again.

He pulls out his phone, unraveling his headphones and placing them in his ears. He puts his music on shuffle and tries to focus on that. He watches the light reflecting off the puddles from this morning’s rain as the sound fills his head and clears his mind. He says the lyrics in his head, lets his eyes glide over the details of the scenery, counts his steps, thinks about a book he read, anything to make the time go by faster and keep his mind busy.

***

Terushima creaks open his eyes and the entire world is shaking. Actually, the world is yelling too, and something near his head is screeching in a high pitched tone that makes him cringe this early on a Saturday.

“Nii-chan, wake up!”

He looks down and sees an eight year old jumping on his bed. That’s fine. He rolls back over, trying to ignore the chaos, but she keeps jumping and talking, and whatever that high pitched sound is won’t stop.

“What the hell do you want, Hikaru?” he grumbles into his pillow. “Go back to sleep or something. Why don’t kids your age appreciate sleep like the rest of us?”

“I can’t!” she exclaims, finally ceasing her jumping in favor of sitting on him. Terushima grumbles but he doesn’t have the energy for much more than that. “Your stupid alarm has been going off all morning and I don’t know how to turn it off and no one can sleep!” His alarm? Oh, that’s the horrific beeping. Why is his alarm going off? Wait, fuck it’s Saturday isn’t it? God, he’s tired.

“Hikaru, what day is it?” he asks quickly, lifting only his head.

“Saturday.” 

Damnit, he has work! What time is-- wait. No, no that’s wrong. Mitsu needed to work the breakfast shift today, she switched with him. He doesn’t work until eleven, thank god, but that just means his alarm shouldn’t even be on today.

Wait. _Wait. Shit._

“Shit, what time is it?” He sits straight up in bed this time, almost throwing his sister off of him in the process. He picks up the alarm clock, yanking it towards him and knocking half of the stuff on his nightstand onto the floor with the cord of it. That’s fine. He’ll deal with that later. Someday. Maybe. He stares at the numbers, blinking them into clarity then blinking again to see if it’ll get any earlier. No, this is real, and _holy shit_ he has ten minutes to get ready. Well, this is a great start.

He glares at the alarm clock as it shrieks at him while his foggy mind tries to remember how to get it to shut up. He ends up just yanking the cord out of the wall, silencing the screeching that leaves a ringing in his ears. He throws it hastily back onto the nightstand, causing more things to fall. Whatever, no time to worry about that now.

He flies out of the bed, mumbling a random assortment of swears as he tears through his dresser for something decent to wear. 

“Ya know, mom says you should swear less,” Hikaru chimes in from where she’s still sitting on his bed.

“Yeah, well she also says three cookies is too many, and we both know that’s not true,” Terushima replies quickly, to which she has no response but a shrug. “What are you still doing here anyways?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well get out, I have to get changed. I only have like seven minutes,” he says as he finally decides on an outfit that’s probably good enough. It better be, he has no time to change it now.

“Why are you in such a rush?” she huffs defiantly, though she gets off the bed anyways.

“I’m hanging out with someone. I don’t wanna be late. Well, I don’t wanna be _that_ late. I’m already fucking late.” Oh, shit, Sawamura is probably already there. “Crap, I should text him or something,” he mumbles, dropping the clothes and searching for his phone. He reflexively feels around the lack of pockets on his pajama pants before his eyes catch sight of the device on his nightstand, plugged in. He lunges towards in and snatches it from the cord, but it won’t turn on. Why the hell won’t it turn on? It can’t be dead, it was plugged i--

The charger isn’t in the damn wall. Great. This is just wonderful.

“Alright, nevermind,” he sighs, plugging his phone and the charger back in. “Now I’ll just look like an asshole or something. Perfect. Fucking _lovely_.”

“Oh, are you going on a date?” she coos, batting her little eyelashes as she hangs around in the hallway while he changes.

Terushima doesn’t really know how to answer that. “I don’t know, maybe?” he says as he zips his pants and searches the floor for a matching sock. He really doesn’t know. He knows he’s hanging out with an amazingly attractive and surprisingly interesting guy that he’s actually pretty into, who he can’t say he doesn’t want to kiss. He knows that he _wants_ it to be a date, probably. Not that he’s very experienced in the whole actually dating somebody for real thing. 

What he doesn’t know is if this is actually considered date, or if Sawamura would want it to be for that matter. It might be a date? It would be pretty cool if it was, but what if that’s not what Sawamura wants at all? He could always try to make it into a date, but if that’s wrong he could totally scare him away and screw everything up. He doesn’t want that at all. This is better than nothing.

“No,” Terushima corrects out loud as he throws his shirt on. “It’s not.” He doesn’t know why he feels the need to say it out loud, especially to his little sister who really doesn’t care about the details. He just needs to remind himself that no matter how much he wants this to be a date, it can’t be. If he’s going to take Sawamura on a date, he wants him to know that it’s a date.

“You’re lying,” she giggles. “It’s totally a date.”

“It’s not.”

“Are you in love?” she asks, spinning in a little circle and ignoring him completely.

“It’s not even a--”

“Yuuji is in love!”

He just sighs, pushing past her to get to the bathroom. It’s a complete mess. Clothes, towels, trash, and a random assortment of things that Terushima can’t even begin to imagine why they ended up in the bathroom are all scattered across the floor and on every surface. But, that’s to be expected when you share a bathroom with four younger siblings. God, they need to clean this place.

He looks in the mirror and good lord, he’s a real mess right now. Of course this couldn’t just be easy. His hair is all over the place, sticking up in the back and falling down in the front. And he has about five minutes to do something with this. Great. This is fantastic. He brushes it out as quickly as he can, making it a puffy mess. As he digs around in the medicine cabinet for his hair gel, he hears tiny footsteps behind him.

“Hikaru, what do you want? I’m kind of busy right now,” Terushima says, glancing at her tiny frame standing in the doorway through the mirror before focusing back on his hair. His eyes dart back to her when his brain registers that the big T-shirt she’s wearing as pajamas is awfully familiar. “Hey, is that mine? I’ve been looking for that.” 

“I found it. Is she pretty?” she asks, glazing right over the issue of Terushima’s stolen shirt.

“He,” Terushima corrects as he finishes his hair in record time and fishes his toothbrush out of the cup and finds the least disgusting tube of toothpaste.

“What?”

“I’m hanging out with a he not a she,” he clarifies, not even sure why he’s still going along with this conversation.

“Fine, is _he_ pretty?” she asks again as she slips into the tiny bathroom.

“Yes,” he mumbles around the toothbrush in his mouth. He glances over when he realizes she’s standing on the edge of the shower for some reason. Upon looking fully, she’s trying to reach something on the very top of the shower rack, and she looks like she’s about three seconds from falling. “Hey get down from there. You’re gonna hurt yourself and mom is gonna blame me.”

“I’m not gonna fall,” she protests stubbornly, continuing her mission.

“What the heck are you even doing?” He asks before he spits into the sink. When he straightens up to look in the mirror again, she’s by his side with her little hand outstretched with his earrings resting in her palm. It’s the black studs that have been missing for at least a week. “Hey! Where were you hiding these?” he exclaims, snatching them from her hand. 

“It wasn’t me, it was Kou!” she protests crossing her arms. “You left them on the sink last week and he hid them as a joke. I didn’t do anything I just saw where he put them.” He looks down at her and her adorable little pout while he takes out the little silver hoops he had on in the absence of his studs. 

“Alright, fine, whatever. I believe you,” he chuckles, ruffling her hair and turning back to the mirror.

“Don’t tell him that I got them for you because he told me not to,” she says. She scoots right up next to him and gets on her toes so she can see in the mirror while she brushes her hair and he can’t help but laugh a little.

“Defying your partner in crime? What a rebel,” he laughs.

“Well, those are your favorite ones. You said he was pretty so you have to look pretty too,” she reasons as she pulls her short brown hair into the ponytail you’ll usually see it in. With how annoying she is most of the time, Terushima sometimes forgets how fucking sweet and adorable Hikaru can be when she wants to. He can’t help but smile, wide and stupid, at the fact that his little sister wants him to look pretty for Sawamura.

“Aw, thanks,” he laughs, checking himself in the mirror one last time. “You’re my favorite, don’t tell the others,” he whispers, flipping her ponytail before leaving the bathroom. He grabs a jacket off the chair in his room, throws on some shoes, and checks the clock-- _shit_.

***

Daichi is actually kind of surprised when he arrives at the diner. Trying not to think about anything had worked a little too well, and he just ended up spacing out. He would’ve walked right past it if it weren’t for the smell of food wafting into the street.

As he walks inside, he’s instantly surrounded by the feeling of the place. The best way to describe it is alive. The warmth washes over him, and he’s wrapped up in the sounds of clattering dishes and idle conversation, stories overlapping into a comfortable white noise. Daichi takes a minute to look around. It’s kind of amazing, the organized chaos of it all. There’s so much noise, so many people talking and moving, so much commotion, but somehow it’s all pleasant and easy.

A middle aged woman behind a long counter that opens up into the kitchen beyond tells him to sit anywhere as she passes out drinks from a tray that’s balanced on her hip. Daichi doesn’t know her personally, but he does recognize her considering she’s almost always working when he comes here. She’s small, short and thin but at the same time still muscular. She has wavy brown hair, just above her shoulders that’s held back by a bandanna, revealing warm brown eyes that practically glow when you’re talking to her. 

Daichi has always assumed she’s one of the owners of the place with how often she’s here and the way in which she seems to be the beating heart driving everything that happens here. For someone who looks like she’s always got ten things to be doing, she always has a wide smile on her face. It’s almost like she thrives around chaos, maybe even enjoys it. Then again, thinking about his team, he can’t really say he’s not the same.

Daichi picks a table for two by the window and picks up the bundle of silverware, freeing it from the paper napkin. He searches his jacket pockets, worried he’d forgotten it until his fingers brush the pen he keeps there. He checks the time to find that he’s a few minutes early, texts Terushima to let him know where he’s sitting, then turns back to the napkin and starts writing while he waits.

He’s done this every time he’s come here since the start of high school, for no reason in particular, besides the fact that he was bored once while he was waiting for his meal and it sort of became a habit after that. Maybe a tradition is a better word for it. Either way, since then, he’s always written a short story of sorts on the napkin and then left it behind. It’s never anything amazing, just a slice of life of some fictional character in the diner. 

He wonders sometimes if anyone ever finds them and reads them. Well obviously people find them when they come to clean up the table, but he can’t help but wonder if they just throw it away without a second thought or if they actually read it, maybe even stop to think about it. It’s cool to think that maybe he actually made someone’s day a little better. It must seem kind of weird though, if they do read it, having just part of a story with no context. Maybe they even think it’s part of something bigger rather than just the writing equivalent of a doodle. 

By the time he actually finishes writing there’s still no sign of Terushima and Daichi starts to worry a little bit. He didn’t seem like the kind of person to say yes to hanging out and then not show up. If he didn’t want to come he probably would’ve just said no. What the hell is he even thinking about this for? If he didn’t want to come he never would’ve texted Daichi in the first place.

He’s staring out the window when the waitress walks up to his table. She has long, light brown hair in a braid that she flicks over her shoulder as she introduces herself and asks if he knows what he’s getting.

“Um, I’m actually waiting for a friend,” Daichi says, feeling a little bad for being an inconvenience on a busy day.

“Okay, can I get you something to drink while you wait?”

“Water is fine,” he replies, glancing out the window at the sight of someone awfully similar to Terushima and looking back to her when it’s not actually him. She nods, walking back towards the kitchen. 

He should just text Terushima and see why he’s late. At least that gives him something to do while he sits at this table by himself, looking like a loser. Yeah, that’s a good idea. Right as he pulls out his phone though, he sees a familiar blur of blonde hair out the window, and this time it’s really him. Daichi can’t help but laugh a little to himself at the sight of Terushima flailing as he sprints towards the diner.

He bursts through the doors, breathing heavy as he surveys the room. When his eyes catch on Daichi, he smiles wide and waves and Daichi can’t help the smile on his own face as he waves back. He’s kind of surprised at how happy just seeing him in person again makes him.

Terushima is making his way around the tables when the waitress from before pulls him aside to talk to him, like literally pulls him. Daichi is confused at first until he remembers that Terushima works here, so odds are he knows most of the people who are working. He definitely doesn’t feel the tiniest bit of jealousy before he remembers that, because why would he? Why would he care about the effortless way she touches him, or the way she talks so close to his face?

***

Terushima is so happy to see Daichi sitting in the diner. He didn’t really think he would leave, but he _is_ at least a good twenty minutes late. Either way he’s excited to see him again and to actually talk to him again. He’s on his way over to do just that, weaving between the tables along the path he could probably walk with his eyes closed, when Mitsu stops him and pulls him behind the counter.

He sighs, turning and deciding to actually walk with her as opposed to being dragged or making some kind of scene of trying to get away in the middle of the diner. He likes this shirt too much to let her stretch it out with her death grip. 

“Mitsu, I’m kind of busy and you know my shift doesn’t actually start for like three hours. Can whatever this is at least wait until I’m working?” He likes Mitsu and all, and any other time he’d be down to talk about whatever problem she’s probably about to rant about, but today there are more important things to be doing. Such things include talking to the beautiful boy who’s waiting for him across the room. Upon glancing at him, he’s looking at Terushima with an expression he can’t read. Confusion maybe? 

“No, because I want to know _why_ you’re here so soon before work,” she says, keeping her volume low and her face close like she’s telling a secret or something. “We all know you’re never on time, let alone early on a day you could sleep in,” she says as she moves her grip from his shirt to his shoulder, like he still might try to get away.

“You’re right. I’m already late, and you’re making me later with this pointless conversation,” Terushima says quickly, itching to get away but knowing if he tries she’ll just pull him back. He just wishes she would hurry up so he could finally get to his not-date.

“Late for what?” she coos.

“Breakfast?”

“Well duh, with who?” she asks, shoving his shoulder at the vague response. “Is it that hot guy who’s waiting for someone? Is he waiting for you?” She asks, glancing over at Sawamura.

“What, can’t I just be excited to have a nice breakfast with myself and enjoy what this fine establishment I work for has to offer?” Terushima asks in mock offense, earning him an eye roll and another shove while he tries to figure out in his head why the fact that she called him hot bothers him. Mitsu has never had a filter, especially not with Terushima, but at the same time, things like that have never gotten under his skin before.

This is just how him and Mitsu are, how they’ve always been. They had a thing a while back, not really a relationship but something along those lines. They’re still friends now, obviously. Friends who occasionally sleep together when Mitsu has a bad breakup, but friends nonetheless. Though, even before all that they still had little to no boundaries with each other.

They’ve always been able to touch each other without much thought. They’ve always been able to joke about anything. They’ve always been able to talk about anything and everything, casually bringing up topics that make the other people in the room blush. So Terushima doesn’t really get why the fact that Mitsu called Sawamura hot in passing bothers him when it never has before. 

“You can’t be late for breakfast with yourself. But it’s him right? Come on, it has to be,” she continues, unaware of Terushima’s internal crisis of sorts. He pushes down the thoughts and lets and easy smirk slide onto his face.

“Who says I can’t be late for breakfast with myself?” Terushima asks, ignoring her questions just for fun at this point. It’s so easy to get a rise out of her. “I can be late to anything if I try hard enough, we both know this.”

“Stop being ridiculous!” 

“Would if I could, sweetheart.”

Mitsu shoots him a glare and punches him harder than he was expecting in his arm. He always forgets how aggressive she is. “Is he a friend? How come I’ve never seen him?” she continues hastily.

“Kind of. I just met him recently,” he answers, deciding to cooperate, if only to get this conversation over with sooner and actually get to the breakfast that he’s becoming increasingly late for. Maybe to forgo any more bruises, too. “Also, I’d like for him to _not_ hate me, if that’s cool with you, and the longer I stand here the more of an asshole I seem like, so…” he trails off, trying to slink away before she yanks him back. No one can say he didn’t try.

“Yuuji,” she starts, her tone serious as she leans in and glances between him and Sawamura, who’s now just carefully folding his napkin. “Is this a fucking date? Are you, Terushima Yuuji, on like a real ass, honest to god _date_ right now?” she asks incredulously. It’s kind of funny that everyone’s reaction is the same. Then again, he’s surprising himself.

“Well, I’m not doing _anything_ right now because you won’t stop talking to me and let me get to the plans I’m late for. Have I mentioned that I’m late yet? Because I’m late,” he says, getting plain antsy just standing here playing fucking twenty questions with Mitsu while Sawamura is so close. 

“You know what I meant,” she rolls her eyes, ignoring the entire last half of his response.

“It’s not a date,” he reminds himself as he answers her quickly.

“Oh really?” she coos, directing her gaze to Sawamura. Terushima doesn’t like the way she stares him down, like a cat stalking a mouse. He feels oddly protective even though it’s not like Sawamura is _his_. “Well, in that case, you wouldn’t mind if I had some fun with him, would you?” 

“Yes, yes I would,” he answers almost immediately. He’s kind of surprised at how annoyed her suggestion makes him, the lazy hunger in her eyes as she unabashedly checks out the guy waiting patiently for Terushima. Usually he’d joke about something like this with her but this is different. For some reason the thought of Mitsu trying to get with Sawamura makes his stomach flip.

“Why do you care so much if it’s not a date then?” she pries, “If he’s just a friend then I don’t see why he’s off limits. It’s never been a problem before,” she continues with a false curiosity. He doesn’t need to answer, the stupid smirk on her face says that she knows why already. It’s not like there’s ever been any privacy between them anyways. “We can share if you want,” she jokes lightly but suddenly Terushima really isn’t in the mood to joke back.

“Mitsu, stop,” he says, not sharply in any way, but the look in his eyes replaces the smile on her face with a confused expression.

“Alright, sorry I guess,” she says slowly. “Is this suddenly a touchy subject? Why does it matter, Yuuji?” she asks with a huff of nervous laughter.

“I’m pretty sure you know why,” Terushima states with a certain amount of annoyance creeping into his tone. God, this conversation needs to be over.

“Do I?” She raises her eyebrows at him and Terushima lets out a long sigh. Of course she’s gonna make him say it all out. She’s cruel like that.

“Because maybe I actually want it to be a date someday even though I’m not lying when I say that it isn’t right now. Maybe I fucking want that but I don’t know because I suck at this, like a lot. I have never been this out of my element,” he admits, giving in if only to finally get away. “I’m a stupid little boy with a stupid crush and I have no idea what I’m doing but I’m gonna fucking do it anyways because I guess this is happening now. Is that good enough for you? Can I go now?” he says quickly in one long breath.

“Oh god, Yuuji, who even are you?” she chuckles with a smile far softer than her usual smirk, thankfully releasing him from her grip. “Well, good luck with all that shit. You’re insane, but I hope you figure it out,” she laughs as she turns to the kitchen and Terushima smiles at the strange way the two of them show affection. “Have fun on your date,” she coos over her shoulder.

“It’s not-- whatever,” he sighs, Mitsu already out of sight.

***

Daichi actually startles when Terushima plops down in the seat across from him with a long sigh. He’d kind of spaced out while waiting, but a smile quickly takes over his face at the sight of Terushima sitting across from him.

“Sorry I’m so late,” Terushima apologizes as he slides out of his coat. “Mitsu was talking my ear off and there’s really no getting out of it until she’s done, trust me I’ve tried,” he explains exasperatedly, running a hand through his hair, and Daichi can only assume Mitsu is the waitress. “And I was already late before that because I slept through my fucking alarm, and then my sister tried to wake me up, and then she kept talking to me and shit. It was a mess, seriously. And I tried to text you, but my phone was dead, which was great.” 

It sounds like he’s going to keep talking but instead he sighs again, leaning his head in one hand and closing his eyes for a second and it crosses Daichi’s mind that he’s never seen Terushima look so subdued in the few times they’ve met. It’s kind of cute but he tries to ignore that as Terushima’s eyes slid back open to focus on where his other hand is idly fiddling with the edge of his napkin.

“Sounds like a fun morning,” Daichi chuckles, happy when Terushima seems at least a little bit less worn out at that.

“Oh definitely,” he says, rolling his eyes before looking up with a little smile. It’s not like his usual blinding smile, it’s softer and sweeter and it makes Daichi happy just to see it.

“I didn’t know you had a sister,” he comments eventually, remembering that part of Terushima’s rant. “How old is she?” he asks, genuinely curious.

“Oh god, I have more than just a sister. I have three brothers too, and they’re all little monsters, the four of them. I swear, sometimes they’re actually trying to kill me. It's not like Eiji has any desire to be the oldest so they probably just want my room if I die,” Terushima jokes, seeming exhausted just at the mention of them. “I’m the oldest,” he continues, “And Yuusuke is the youngest, he’s seven. He’s probably the least evil but I can never tell who’s side he’s on. Eiji is thirteen and he’s an apathetic little shit. Then there’s the demon duo, partners in crime, the terrible twins, Kou and Hikaru. They’re eight and I’m pretty sure they could rob a bank together if they tried, maybe even without trying.”

He tries to look annoyed when he says it, but Daichi can tell he cares about them all way more than he lets on, there's a certain fondness in his expression. It’s kind of interesting to see the soft spot he has for his siblings and it makes Daichi smile. He laughs and is amazed at the dazzling smile that Terushima returns it with, letting out a little huff of laughter himself.

“They sound like a lot of fun,” Daichi comments, picturing four little energetic Terushima’s running around. He kind of wants to meet them, though he doesn’t voice it. It sounds so different from the kind of life he has at home.

“I guess they’re okay sometimes,” he replies with a shrug and a crooked smile. It’s kind of interesting how much affection Daichi can notice just in those few words. It’s not hard to tell that he loves it. “How about you, any siblings?” 

“Yeah, but definitely not four children,” Daichi answers, watching as Terushima’s hand moves from the napkin he was fiddling with to tug absentmindedly on his earring. “I have an older sister, Manami, but she’s at college so I don’t see her as much anymore unless she's on break. I’ve also been up to visit her a few times. We’re still really close though, we text and stuff,” he explains. Speaking of which he should talk to her later. Usually it doesn't feel like she's that far with how they keep in touch, but he misses her sometimes. 

Terushima looks like he’s about to reply when the waitress comes back over with a water for Daichi and a mug of tea for Terushima. Daichi thanks he as she sets the cup down, wondering how she knew what Terushima wanted. Maybe he had told her when they were talking. Or maybe she just knew, they seem like friends. 

Well, if he’s honest they seemed like more than that and Daichi isn’t gonna lie and say he wouldn’t be disappointed if that’s true. He almost falls into that train of thought but he can practically hear Suga telling him to stop overthinking it.

“And, tea for Yuuji,” she says. Daichi stiffens imperceptibly at the use of Terushima’s first name. But, he quickly reminds himself that half the people he knows call him by his first name. So he tries to relax, to stop thinking so hard. He’s been looking forward to this, he doesn’t want to be the one to ruin it. 

“Killed with sugar, just how you like it,” she laughs. “You’re lucky your mom didn’t see me making it. She would have made me dump it out and forced you to have some tea with your sugar.”

“Hey it’s not that much,” Terushima protests, “Is it really such a crime that I like it sweet?”

“I don’t care,” she explains, taking a notebook and a pen out of her apron, “But I really don’t want to cross your mom. I’d like to keep my spot on her good side, thank you very much,” she reasons and Terushima nods.

“Yeah, that’s probably a wise choice.”

Daichi has half a mind to wonder why Terushima’s mom would know about the tea but he doesn’t have any time to think about it before she’s taking his order. She turns back to Terushima after that. “I hope you want your usual because your mom already put the order in. She saw you walk in,” she explains, flicking her braid off her shoulder.

“What would you do if I didn’t want the same thing?”

“But we all know you do,” she says matter of factly.

“Fair enough.”

With that, she heads off in the direction of the kitchen again. 

“That was my friend, by the way, Kaneko Mitsu,” Terushima says eventually and Daichi is kind of relieved that he only referred to her as a friend.

“I figured,” Daichi answers while he goes over the conversation in his head. “Hey, does your mom work here or something?” Daichi asks, watching with amusement as Terushima tries to balance his butter knife between the prongs of his fork.

“Hmm?” he says, looking up as the knife clatters to the table. “Oh, something like that, yeah,” he laughs with a goofy smile on his face that makes Daichi’s heart do something weird in his chest as Terushima goes back to balancing his knife. “Her and my dad own the place,” he adds casually.

“Wait, what?” Daichi asks as he looks around, eyes landing on the middle aged woman from before. He notices the similarities now, her chocolate eyes, the way her brown waves match the shaved hair under Terushima’s blonde, and that blinding smile that could light up a whole room. “That’s your mom?”

“Yeah?” Terushima says, clearly confused at how shocked Daichi is, like he assumed Daichi should’ve already known that or something.

“And you never thought to mention that the diner we were going to is literally _your_ diner?” Daichi asks incredulously.

“I guess not,” Terushima says as he seems to consider this thought himself. “Huh.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Daichi laughs.

“Yeah pretty much,” Terushima says back, leaning his head in his hand with a grin. 

"So how long have they had it?" Daichi asks, kind of interested now. "Like did they just buy it as it is?"

"No, they started it together, my parents," he replies, glancing at his mom across the room. "She went to a culinary school in the United Sates. There was a specific reason but I forget why, something about someone she knew over there, a relative or something. She fell in love with this little diner by her school and wanted to bring that kind of food back home," he explains, seeming like he both knows this story well, and is struggling to remember it. "My dad was actually studying at a school nearby for a semester and they had some mutual friends. That's how they met. He was studying some business thing, though, not culinary stuff."

"That's so cool," Daichi comments. He doesn't even know how his parents met, but he can guess it wasn't anything as interesting as that. "I can't imagine going that far for school though. It was probably nice to have at least one person to speak Japanese to."

"Huh. I've never even thought about that," Terushima says, staring into space with a confused expression before looking back at Daichi. "Wow. Well, anyways," he continues suddenly, switching gears, "As for how long they've had it, I'm not sure. I know it was before I was born, I practically grew up in this place. When my parents were both graduated and back in Japan, my mom really wanted to have an American-style diner, that had been her dream ever since then. So they worked for a while until they could make that happen, and eventually they bought this place and somehow turned it into what it is now. I think it was some bakery before, but they were moving to a new location? I don't know, something like that," he laughs, flashing that beautiful lopsided grin that makes Daichi want to do nothing more than to make him smile again. He doesn’t even know how someone can have a smile like that, it’s not even fair.

And it’s while he’s staring at this guy for the third time in his life, admiring his easy grin in the diner his parents started, waiting for their food, that Daichi realizes he’s finally learning something about Terushima. He’s not just finding out about Terushima himself but his life, his family. He has the tiniest idea of what his life is like, how he grew up. It might be the smallest start, but it’s something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is my favorite chapter so far. As always, thank you so much for reading and all comments, kudos, etc. are appreciated! I will be back next SUNDAY (for real this time) with the update. Until then, have a super awesome week!


	6. Caring is Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sawamura!” Terushima calls out, pretty damn sure he did _not_ actually tell his mouth to do that. “Um, I’ll talk to you later,” his brain supplies hastily and he wants to kick himself in the face the second the words leave his mouth. What the fuck was that? Quick thinking Teru, real smooth. God, if he could explode on command, he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, I'm actually on time! I wrote this chapter kind of quick because my vacation was really busy, therefore there wasn't really time for my sibling to look it over, so I apologize in advance for any typos. They'll be fixed before next week but for now I hope it's good enough. 
> 
> Anyways, this is kind of a slow chapter but I hope you enjoy!

Terushima feels like he’s floating and it’s fucking weird but he’s pretty sure he loves it. He doesn’t really know why he feels like this or what to call it, but as they’re getting ready to leave the diner he feels so light inside that he’s sure when he starts walking it’ll be like walking on the moon, not that he has any moon experiences to compare this to but it must be pretty damn close. Really, he doesn’t have _anything_ to compare any part of this to, which makes him kind of nervous, but who cares if this is the feeling that goes with it?

It’s strange, jumping head first into this world he’s not used to where everything he knows about his previous relationships is pretty much irrelevant. Everything has been so incredibly different than what he’s used to, but it’s not bad. If he’s honest, he can’t really remember the last time he did the whole ‘getting to know somebody’ thing with someone he was interested in. It’s just not really how he does things, not in a really long time anyways. Dating isn’t really his style, if that’s even what he’s doing right now, and that’s never been a bad thing to him. It just is what it is, how he chooses to live that aspect of his life.

Terushima has never been one to compare apples to oranges, so he isn’t going to say that this is somehow better or worse than his past experiences. They aren’t really the kind of things you can compare in his opinion, but whatever the hell this feeling is, it isn’t something he’s opposed to experiencing more often.

He scoops up his coat from the back of the chair as Sawamura does the same across from him and he knows that the grin on his face must look stupid, but he doesn’t really care that much, especially when he can see the smile on Sawamura’s face too.

As they get ready to leave, Terushima feels his heart sink a little bit at the realization that he has to leave Sawamura, and on top of that he has to work in an hour. This heavy feeling, unfortunately, isn’t an unfamiliar one. Leaving is always Terushima’s least favorite part. He likes people and excitement, thrives on it, and he hates when it has to end because it always feels too soon. He’s found that it’s especially hard with Sawamura. Who could look in those eyes and find themselves easily saying goodbye to the glowing feeling that goes with them?

He gets so lost in the feeling that’s weighing down his previous weightlessness that he doesn’t even realize they’re out of the diner, walking silently side by side, until he’s being yanked nearly off of his feet. He almost falls, instead being hastily caught by Sawamura, who appears to be the one who pulled him over in the first place. He looks behind himself in confusion as he stumbles back to his feet, catching sight of the telephone pole that he was definitely about to walk into if he hadn’t been saved by the guy who still has a steady grip on his arm.

“You okay there, or was it your plan to break your nose on a telephone pole?” Sawamura asks with amusement in his voice. 

“Sorry, I totally spaced out,” Terushima explains with a laugh that he hopes covers the embarrassment at least a little bit as he reluctantly releases his grip on Sawamura’s shoulders. Sawamura’s hand slides away when he feels like Terushima is probably alert enough to avoid hitting the scenery. Terushima kind of wishes he could just hold him anyways. “Thanks, though. You totally saved my life, how can I ever repay you?” he continues as he tries to shake the feeling.

“Oh no problem,” Sawamura says with exaggerated confidence. “It’s my sworn duty to save innocent civilians from inanimate objects,” he jokes with a straight face.

“Too bad I’m not an innocent civilian,” Terushima replies with a chuckle as they reach his house. “This is sadly where we part ways, hero.” 

“Oh, this is where you live?” Sawamura says, stopping to take in the house quickly, scanning his eyes across the property like he’s waiting for it to tell him something. “I passed it on the way here and I didn’t even know,” he comments.

“Damn, you should’ve woken me up,” Terushima replies, earning him a small laugh. “Anyways,” he continues, deciding to cut to the chase instead of awkwardly dragging this out. “This was fun.”

He wants to continue and ask what he should’ve just asked the first time, for a date, an actual real date where Sawamura knows it’s a date and Terushima can do more than just think about kissing him, where he can hold him just because he wants to. The idea is surprisingly more terrifying than he ever expected it to be. He’s never been one to get shy or nervous over stuff like this before but suddenly it feels really hard to even approach this. There usually _isn’t_ any official approach he takes with this kind of stuff. It just happens.

He’s mostly worried about how he’ll take it. Hell, the guy could be straight for all he knows. And even if he isn’t he still may just want to be friends, or worse he won’t even want that afterwards. Or maybe he’s taken, though he never mentioned anyone like that. Still. 

It’s not like these same concerns aren’t involved when he wants to make out with someone or even if he’s offering someone a blowjob at a party, but that’s still very, very different from this. He doesn’t care as much about how those people will react, which to be fair does get him in some less than desirable situations occasionally, but he’s still never hesitated like this. And maybe that has to do with the amount of alcohol around when these things tend to occur, but that’s not the point. What was his point?

“Yeah, it was,” Sawamura replies before Terushima can even finish arguing with himself in his head, let alone find the words to ask Sawamura out. “We should hangout again sometime when we can actually find the time.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Terushima says dumbly, his mouth completely forgetting the asking him out part.

“Anyways, you have work so I’ll get on my way, but I’ll text you later or something,” Sawamura says as he starts to move in the direction they had been walking in. 

“Yeah, see ya,” Terushima calls to him as he pulls his keys out of his pocket. Sawamura waves as he glances over his shoulder one last time and Terushima raises the hand his keys are dangling from in some sort of quick response.

He unlocks the door and pushes it open, stopping in his tracks and swearing when he realizes that he just let Sawamura walk away without asking him on a date.

“Bad word!” Yuusuke says just for the sake of pointing it out as he runs in the direction of laughter coming from the kitchen, fleeing from the living room where they’ve apparently been playing ‘rip every cushion off the couch for no reason’. He’ll probably have to clean that up. Either that or try to make three kids do it somehow. God, it’s not even noon and this place is a mess. Isn’t Eiji at least supposed to pretend that he’s watching them?

Terushima sighs, hanging up his coat and pausing when he sees an empty spot on the rack where his work apron usually goes and the bag with the rest of his work clothes in it is nowhere in sight either. Why is his entire uniform gone? It’s not like his parents would have taken it for some reason, especially not without telling him. It’s not being washed, he knows it isn’t upstairs.

He’s bracing himself for an interrogation of the three maniacal little monsters giggling in the kitchen when his memory suddenly supplies him with the location of the missing clothing. 

Shit.

***

Daichi had a really good time at breakfast. The food was good, the company was nice to have, but most of all, he’s excited that he’s actually learning things about Terushima and his life, even if it’s just little bits. It probably seemed insignificant to Terushima, but little things like that are important to Daichi.

They talked the whole time and it was as easy and it felt so nice just to be there. That’s probably partly because Daichi just enjoys being with Terushima. He’s fun to be around and at the same time interesting to talk to. He has a loud personality and a playful sense of humor but they were still able to have intelligent conversation, switching between the two seamlessly. There’s never a dull moment around him and Daichi kind of loves it.

As much as he’d like to avoid the topic, even just to himself, Daichi can’t keep his mind from wandering to the fact that he’s developing some kind of fondness for him, there’s really no denying that there’s something there. His personality is enough to draw anybody in. He’s practically magnetic and every time Daichi has to leave he feels like it’s a cliffhanger, like he has to see him again because he just needs to know more. He _wants_ to know more.

He also can’t say that he didn’t find himself staring a few times. He’s definitely not hard to look at, and he can’t really help it when it’s just the two of them for an hour. His eyes shine almost as bright as his smile and when Daichi wasn’t taking in the features of his face it’s because his eyes were drawn to the motions of his hands. He’s always moving, it seems, especially when he talks. He was constantly messing with napkins and silverware absentmindedly, playing with his jewelry. It’s kind of adorable, but Daichi will never say that out loud. 

And when he talks Daichi really doesn’t mind listening. He’s so passionate about everything he’s saying, with the way his voice goes up and down and his hands move animatedly to match. He laughs like it’s just part of the sentence, as natural as breathing. God, his laugh. He has so many and they’re all amazing, varying from gentle chuckles that find their way into his words like they belong there to this loud and happy sound that comes tumbling out of him and fills the air.

Something that actually kind of surprised Daichi is that for someone so talkative, he has no problem listening. His eyes are attentive in a way that somehow simultaneously makes Daichi nervous and at ease. He nods along, comments, laughs, and it’s easy. It’s all so easy. It's never been this easy.

Daichi found out something even more interesting when Terushima was the one talking. He doesn’t know when exactly he noticed, but there’s no way he could mistake the glint of silver in his mouth. Terushima has a goddamn _tongue ring_. He also apparently likes to roll it between his teeth when his mouth isn’t busy forming words, and that was distracting to say the least.

Before his mind can get any further into really thinking about that tongue ring, he hears the sound of quick, hard footsteps approaching close behind him, like someone’s running. He turns to see none other than the boy who’s been on his mind all morning as he slows beside him to match his pace. He stops right next to Daichi, their arms brushing together as they walk. Neither of them move to create more space, though while the proximity seems to be normal to Terushima, Daichi can feel his face heat up just the slightest bit.

“Hey, what are you doing? I thought you had work?” he asks as casually as he can manage. Not that he’s complaining, though Terushima is interrupting his important train of thought about Terushima. It’d be nice if he could come back once Daichi actually sorts out how he feels, but again, he can’t say he’s complaining.

“I do,” he starts, sounding a little winded but surprisingly not much. Daichi wasn’t that far away yet, but from the sound of his footsteps he was really sprinting. “But, I realized when I got home that my uniform wasn’t there, and I was really confused for a second because I forgot that I left it at my friend’s house last time I was over when I had gone straight from work. I was supposed to get it a few days ago but I completely forgot about it until now. So I have to walk there to get it before my shift, but I could see you down the street still when I left and I figured I’d catch up to you if we’re walking the same way, ya know?” he finishes his explanation with a shrug as he shoves his hands into his pockets, breathing almost back to normal.

“Is this the friend that fell out of a tree while trying to get someone’s shoe with another shoe, or the one who threw up in your kitchen when he was dared to eat a whole box of cereal in one sitting for five hundred yen?” Daichi asks with amusement in his voice as he remembers the stories. 

They had talked about family over breakfast, little stories and things, which led to talk about team mates and friends, and Terushima sure had some interesting ones. They seem like good people from what he’s heard from Terushima, but they definitely seem like the kind of people to do a lot of stupid, potentially regrettable shit for fun. Not that Daichi doesn't know some people like that too.

“Neither, though you should definitely meet all of them. They’re idiots, but they’re my idiots,” Terushima says, an honest proposal to meet his friends. It makes Daichi equal parts excited, exhausted, and terrified just thinking about it and he’s not sure which one to feel first. “Who am I kidding, we’re all idiots together,” he says with a fond laugh.

“Sounds like fun,” Daichi replies with a little huff of laughter, and despite his apprehension, he means it.

“Hey, so do you live near your school?” Terushima asks, suddenly changing the topic like he’s just remembered something. “Karasuno, right? Kind of near that park?”

“Um, yeah, pretty close. I walk to school,” Daichi answers, kind of curious as to where this is going.

“Oh cool,” Terushima nods, silent for a moment before he seems to realize that Daichi has no idea what he’s just confirmed in his own head. “It’s just that my friend lives near there and that’s where I’m headed,” he explains hastily. “So we’ll probably be walking together for a while.”

“Is it always this hard to get rid of you?” Daichi asks with a smirk, laughing at himself in his head when he remembers that he was just thinking about how little he wanted to part ways with Terushima.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Terushima says with that crooked grin of his, warm and genuine. It makes something stir in his chest and he tries to ignore it, suddenly feeling the need to avoid Terushima’s gaze. He jokes about it, but silently he’s glad for the company.

***

They walk for a while, talking aimlessly to pass the time. He’s still amazed by how easy talking to Sawamura is, like they’ve known each other for more than just a few weeks. Terushima actually forgot where he was even going, getting lost in the conversation, but luckily he still knows where they are when Sawamura finally slows to a halt in front of a decent sized house with a well kept garden out front.

“This is where we part ways for real this time,” he says, turning to face Terushima.

“Ah, so this is your house,” Terushima says, looking at the building and trying to remember why he wanted to buy time.

“The one and only,” Sawamura says, gesturing exaggeratedly at his simple house. “Anyways, I don’t want you to be late for work.” 

He waves again and Terushima stares dumbly as he retreats towards his door. It’s only once he’s pulling his keys from his pocket and Terushima is shuffling away in a sort of daze that he realizes they're walking away again before he got the chance to ask him on a proper date. Dammit, why is this so hard? 

It’s not like it can’t wait, but he doesn’t want it to wait any longer. Today was amazing, but he wants so badly to have something more with him. He doesn’t want to rush anything either. He’s still worried about how Sawamura would even respond because he really doesn’t want to push him away and he hasn’t the slightest clue how he would take something like that. At the same time, the longer he waits, the worse that might be. He’s not sure if he should try to be his friend first, or just go for it. There’s too many outcomes to consider and it makes him panic a little on the inside.

“Sawamura!” Terushima calls out, pretty damn sure he did _not_ actually tell his mouth to do that. Wait, this was a mistake. What does he do now? God, Terushima gets himself into some stupid situations. He hasn’t even decided if this is a good idea or not. Maybe he can just walk away and Sawamura will think he’s hearing things, or better yet he could just sprint into the distance. Really inconspicuous. 

But, before he even has the brainpower to turn his body, he’s looking straight into those beautiful, deep brown eyes as they await the rest of what he has to say. He looks so incredibly open and Terushima practically wilts under that gaze, staring dumbly back at him.

“Um, I’ll talk to you later,” his brain supplies hastily and he wants to kick himself in the face the second the words leave his mouth. What the fuck was that? Quick thinking Teru, real smooth. God, if he could explode on command, he would.

“Yeah,” Sawamura nods, a kind smile on his face despite the notes of confusion in his expression. And with that, he turns to the door and disappears inside the house. 

Terushima walks in silence for a bit towards his friend’s house until he reaches a stretch of road that’s mostly trees and fields, definitely out of earshot of most houses, where he stops for a second, yanks his head back by the hair, and yells at the sky because he is so fucking stupid. 

 

Terushima groans into the floor of the studio, still in his work clothes as he lays, sprawled out on the cool wooden surface. It smells like dust and art supplies, which is kind of comforting. Maybe he’ll just melt into the floor and stay there for a bit.

“Was it really that bad?” Bobata asks from where he’s currently spinning on the stool by Terushima’s desk. 

“No, that’s the problem! It was totally amazing!” Terushima mumbled into the floor. “I’m just an incompetent fool.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Numajiri says from somewhere near where Bobata’s voice seems to be coming from.

“Thanks.”

“Since when have you ever been incompetent in the relationship department?” Bobata asks as he stops the spinning of the stool with his feet, ignoring Numajiri completely. “Isn’t that like, your thing or whatever?” Well, Terushima thought so too, but apparently not this time around for some reason.

“Well, apparently when I’m around Sawamura that part of my brain ceases to function or something, because I _tried_ ,” Terushima says exasperatedly, rolling onto his back. “I tried to ask him out, I tried _twice_ , and nothing but useless bullshit came out of my mouth instead. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I have no idea what I’m doing. Oh god, what the fuck am I doing?” Terushima says, yanking on his hair and wondering how the hell he’s supposed to even proceed from here.

“Hey, chill out,” Bobata says, sensing that Terushima’s distress is actually genuine. “I’m sure it’ll work out if you actually care this much. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you care about something like this _this_ much. You really like this guy.”

It’s true, and it takes Terushima a little bit of guard if he’s honest, but he really does care about this, doesn’t he? People’s responses have never mattered to him, the outcome has never mattered, he’s never hesitated like this. He _cares_ about what happens right now and it’s kind of weird because there’s so much to consider and he doesn’t know what to do with any of it.

“It’s different, obviously, but I think it’ll be good,” Bobata continues, the honesty in his usually joking tone is enough to be at least a little bit of comfort.

“So you want to actually ask this guy out on a date? Like a real date? You’re serious about this?” Numajiri asks with disbelief, raising his eyebrows at him. He’s just now actually hearing about all of this and unsurprisingly, he’s reacted like everyone else.

“I guess so, apparently,” Terushima replies, “I don’t feel like I can just kiss him. I want to kiss him and stuff obviously, like a lot, but I like actually want to know him and shit too. At the same time, I’m worried that he’s gonna hate me or something if I ask him out. I mean, I don’t even know if he’s straight or not. What if he is? Even if he isn’t he might not want more than a friendship. Then maybe he won’t want to be friends at all!” Terushima rambles, sitting up and throwing his arms in the air. “I don’t wanna mess this up this time. Or what if he’s taken? He could--”

“Teru, calm the fuck down,” Bobata interrupts. “I think this is probably way less complicated than you’re making it. Who knows, maybe he likes you.” 

“Yeah, and maybe he doesn’t at all,” Terushima shoots back. “I mean, sometimes it seems like maybe he kind of does, but other times I can’t tell at all. It doesn’t help that he literally didn’t mention any boyfriends _or_ girlfriends. Past, present, future. Nothing.”

“Yeah, but not every gay person has actually dated a guy before either,” Numajiri points out. “You gotta start somewhere.”

“Yeah, and also, who cares?” Bobata says suddenly. “I get that you care about this a lot and you’re worried about ruining it and shit, but I really think you should just go for it and ask him out. If he says yes then that’s awesome and if he says no then whatever. Be his friend. Maybe it’ll be awkward for a little while, but that shit goes away eventually, you of all people know that. It’s not a huge deal,” he concludes with a shrug.

“Yeah man, just go for it if this is really what you want,” Numajiri chimes in. “He seems like a nice guy from what you’ve told me. He doesn’t really strike me as the kind of person to be a jerk about it, ya know?” Terushima can’t argue with any of what they’re saying, which should be reassuring, but something is still nagging at him. 

“But what if he says no and he feels weird being friends after that or he’s like grossed out or something like that?” Terushima asks softly, not really wanting the answer. Numajiri was right when he said that Sawamura didn’t seem like the type to do that, but people can surprise you. He learned that the hard way a few times.

“Then he’s not the kind of person you want as a friend anyways,” Bobata says with a sense of finality on the topic and maybe even a hint of protectiveness. 

Terushima flops back down on the floor and groans. It’s not like he can argue. “I have to just fucking do it,” he concludes with a sigh, feeling his usual confidence creep back in without all those questions clouding his mind, because his friends are right. He smiles a little bit, happy to have them. Despite all the times they’re total shitheads, they really are good friends when they need to be.

“Well, I’m gonna finish my run now,” Numajiri states, standing and stretching out his limbs. “I’m glad I stopped by, you people never keep me in the loop with these things. Anyways, good luck with all that lovey dovey shit,” he says with a nonchalance that does nothing to cover the affection in his tone. He tries to pretend like he’s not, but he’s such a softie.

“Thanks, I’ll definitely need it,” Terushima replies as Numajiri heads out the door, the sound of his footsteps on the stairs receding. “What have I gotten myself into?” he mutters to himself.

Yeah, he’s gonna need it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise things are gonna speed up real soon. For now, thanks for reading, comments, kudos, and all that jazz! I will see you next week with chapter seven, hopefully on time. I'm extremely busy at the moment so I will try my hardest to get a chapter out on Sunday, but it may be kind of late. Sorry in advance if that's the case.
> 
> Enjoy your week!
> 
> (UPDATE: "KIND OF LATE" DOES NOT EVEN COME CLOSE BUT IT'S STILL HAPPENING, I'M WRITING CHAPTER SEVEN LITERALLY RIGHT NOW. I'M SORRY I DROPPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH FOR A BIT.)


	7. Hesitation and Imagination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry I actually have to go,” Daichi says with the phone pressed between his ear and his shoulder as he starts putting on real clothes instead of the sweats he was lounging in.
> 
>  _“What, why? Who was that?”_ Suga questions curiously.
> 
> “Terushima. I was yelled at for not ditching you last time,” he answers with a grin. “So, I’m ditching you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO I'M ALIVE. THIS WORK IS NOT ABANDONED. I'm sorry for this update being like a million years late, it wasn't my intention. I got caught up in school, and life decisions, and activities, and work, and there was just no time for this. But, things are starting to work themselves out and I have not forgotten about this. I never start anything without the intention to finish it so, expect regular updates again starting today! I'm going to try to keep up with once a week schedule like I usually do, but my life (and my editor's) is hectic, so no promises. I DO promise not to stop updating for months or anything like that, I want to see this through to the end, but if I'm a day or two late, please forgive me.
> 
> Speaking of my editor, they are extremely busy, so for now, this has only been looked over by me. If there are mistakes or it just really sucks, I'm sorry. It will be edited soon. 
> 
> With that, I hope some of the people who started reading this are back to finish it, and I hope you all enjoy this slightly longer update!

Daichi doesn’t know what to do with himself when he shuts the door behind him. The silence of his house feels out of place as he stands with his back against his front door, waiting there like he expects something to happen. What exactly, he isn’t sure. He could just be waiting for his heart to stop hammering so hard that he’s sure his neighbors can hear it. 

He stands there and all his mind can supply him with is the same question, over and over. What was _that_?

What was he going to say? Terushima was about to say something else, it doesn’t take a genius to tell. Even just in the distant look on his face Daichi could see that his mind was working twice as hard as his body, thinking about something that his mouth never translated. Daichi had been wondering even then what he was going to say, hoping.

Hoping for what? Maybe he’s just hoping for Terushima to do something first, to do something that will help him define what kind of relationship they have, if the flirting Terushima does is just as imaginary as the flutter in Daichi’s chest when he smiles a certain way. Maybe he’s waiting for Terushima to give him some kind of indication as to where he wants to go from here. Terushima could just want to be friends or maybe he wants more than that, who knows. Daichi just met him, he could just be like this with everyone in his life. God, how is he supposed to tell? It doesn’t matter either way considering Daichi isn’t sure what he wants himself, but it’d be nice if he were a little better at being able to tell, or if Terushima could make it just a little easier to do so.

At this point Daichi really doesn’t know if this is what liking someone is supposed to feel like, if that’s really what this is, but how is anyone ever supposed to know that? Maybe this is just what it’s like to be around someone new for once, someone so unlike the people he knows. It would all be so much simpler if Terushima would just do something, something that could help Daichi decide what exactly the nature of the feelings currently bubbling out of him are. Maybe that’s what he’s waiting for, what he had been waiting for all day, for Terushima to just do _something_ , maybe even something stupid.

Like kiss him. That would’ve been stupid enough. He was right there, when they were saying goodbye both times. It wouldn’t have been hard. Just a small movement. Simple.

The thought takes him a little bit by surprise and he pushes it quickly out of his mind, deciding to focus on finally taking off his jacket and his shoes. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t want to think about it all of a sudden, but questioning it kind of defeats the whole purpose of not thinking about it, whatever that purpose is. He tries to remember what else he has to do today just to give his mind something else to hold onto.

The team decided to have more Saturday practices to help prepare for the Qualifiers, but he doesn’t have to be at practice until one. There’s not much that he has to do before then, nothing to keep him busy. He did all his homework, his history paper is already finished, and the house is spotless as usual. 

Eventually he just sighs and makes his way up the stairs to his room. He tries to write, but no words can come out with his stupid thoughts taking up his entire brain, still trying relentlessly to push to the surface. He tries to read, scroll through his phone, study, but he can’t focus on any of it, which is irritating. He just wants to forget about it for a while but he has so many questions and not a single answer, and it’s _annoying_. 

He usually has the answers, that’s his thing. He’s usually the one who knows what’s happening. He knows how people are feeling, what makes them feel certain ways. He’s good at reading people, he’s good at giving advice, he’s logical, he’s always sure of the right thing to do in certain moments, the right thing to say. But, now that he thinks about it, he’s always been that type of person for other people. He’s the captain, it’s his job to know his team. Now that it has to do with himself he’s apparently clueless.

Wonderful. 

 

Daichi had thought he might be able to get changed quick enough to avoid Suga for the time being. He doesn’t like feeling like he has to avoid him, and if he’s honest Suga always knows what’s best for him in the end, but at this point he’s just procrastinating. And if he can put off the inevitable for at least one day, that would be great.

But, he hasn’t even been in the club room for five minutes when he catches sight of Suga staring at him with a devious smile as he pushes through the door. He looks around, making sure everyone in the room is properly occupied before slinking over to Daichi.

“So how was your date?” he asks, kind enough to at least keep his voice low.

“It wasn’t a date,” Daichi replies stubbornly and without hesitation. _Do you want it to be?_ Asahi asks in his head. Again he tries to ignore the thought, not because he doesn’t know but because yes, _yes_ , he wants it to be a fucking date. It would be stupid to keep denying that, but he doesn’t need to be thinking about that right now with Suga practically analyzing his facial expression.

“Okay, but the next one is gonna be, right?” he asks like he was reading Daichi’s mind anyways. He probably was, it’s Suga after all. “Right?” he asks again with a widening grin and a punch to Daichi’s bare shoulder as he searches for his practice shirt and pointedly avoids Suga’s gaze. 

“I don’t know. There is no next time, as of right now,” Daichi clarifies with an exasperated sigh as he finds the shirt in his bag.

“But you want there to be, obviously,” he continues matter of factly. “I mean, you clearly like him, he clearly likes you, he’s hot as far as I know. And you went out to breakfast together. How was that, by the way?”

“Suga, this really doesn’t matter right now,” Daichi says, feeling his face heat up slightly at the comments anyways as he takes a bit longer than normal to get his shirt over his head. It’s all true, he knows that, but he’s been trying really hard to put off figuring this out, and this is not helping. “You need to get dressed, Suga, we have practice in like five minutes,” he redirects as he fishes his shoes from his bag.

“But I wanna know what happened,” Suga pouts, grabbing his clothes out of his bag and starting to actually get ready for practice. “We’re friends, Daichi, friends talk about this kind of stuff.”

“I already told you, it doesn’t matter right now,” Daichi replies firmly. Suga is about to protest when Daichi sighs and closes his gym bag a little too forcefully. “Look, we can talk later if you really want to, but I don’t want this to be a thing that comes up during practice, okay? Please?” he continues, deciding to compromise. It’s not like Suga ever would have given up, and he kind of makes a good point anyways.

Suga just pouts in response. God, he’s so impatient.

“If friends talk about this stuff, then we’re teammates at practice,” Daichi explains further. At that, Suga seems to give in, sighing loudly.

“Fine, fine,” he says waving a dismissive hand, “But I’m holding you to that later.”

“Fair enough.”

***

“Teru!” one of the kitchen guys calls from behind the counter. His food must be up. He sighs, and drags himself across the dining area towards the kitchen. He’s so tired. Not only is it nearing the end of a long shift of rushing around like a maniac, but it’s also Sunday, and the morning shift is brutal on night owls like him.

“Behind,” he warns absentmindedly as he slides past his mother at the counter. He grabs the meal slip and scans the array of plates that sit in the window between the dining room and the kitchen, grabbing the ones he needs and stacking them along his arm.

“Your table six is ready, too,” Ikeda says from the kitchen side of the window as he throws another plate down. 

“Thanks,” Terushima replies quickly as he heads towards the dining room with the food, his body running on autopilot. He checks the clock again, which is a terrible idea because only ten minutes have gone by since last time.

He can’t wait for today to be over, but it’s crawling by. It’s not a particularly bad day, just long. His shifts tend to go by slower when he has something to do after work, and that’s all he can think about right now, after work. Because after work, he has a plan, a plan that involves one of his favorite places and will hopefully end with Terushima actually managing to ask Sawamura out on a date. A real on this time. 

He’s done his thinking, his second guessing, his whining, his doubting. He had a good talk, got his motivation, and now all he has to do is get another opportunity to talk to Sawamura so he can finally fucking ask and get everything that’s been weighing on his mind out of the way. But, he has to get through work first and it’s making him restless. 

“Can I get anything else for you guys?” he asks, trying his hardest not to fidget. “More coffee?”

“Please,” one of the women answers politely. He nods and tries to act like his mind isn’t elsewhere.

He can’t take this. His nervousness about the outcome has been replaced with an increasing need to just get this part out of the way. He doesn’t care anymore, the waiting is killing him. Of course he wants it to go well, but if it’s not going to then he wants to know sooner rather than later so he can get on with his life. And if it does go well, then the sooner he can actually be excited about this rather that apprehensive and hesitant, the better.

It would be easier if he could get his mind off it, but how is he supposed to do that? It’s all he can think about.

He checks the clock as he starts to make a new pot of coffee. This is gonna be a long day.

“What’s with you today?” Mitsu asks, suddenly sliding up next to him at the coffee machine, startling him enough to make him fumble with the bag of coffee beans.

“Dude, don’t _do_ that. You almost made me drop so many coffee beans,” Terushima says as he goes back to what he was doing. “That would’ve sucked.”

“Sorry,” she says without sounding very apologetic. “You seem weird, though.”

“Can you really tell?” Terushima asks, a little worried that everyone knows something is bothering him. He likes to believe he’s not that transparent.

“I mean, I can. I don’t know about anyone else,” she replies, flipping through the pages of her little notebook. That’s kind of reassuring actually. Not many people can read him like Mitsu can, so maybe he’s okay. “You’re fidgeting more, if that’s even possible, and you keep checking the clock. You know that makes the day go by slower, right?” she continues, glancing up.

“I know, I know,” he sighs. “I can’t help it.”

“Why are you in such a hurry to get out of here today?” she asks, ripping the old order slips out of her notebook. He moves his legs back wordlessly so she can throw them away in the trash under the counter. “Seriously, I can practically feel how antsy you are.” 

“Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing.”

“Does it have to do with that guy from yesterday?”

“Mitsu, I said don’t worry about it,” he groans, starting the coffee machine with more force than he should have. It’s still working though, so no harm done.

“That just means it is,” she says with a smirk, tucking her notebook away and crossing her arms. “You seeing him again or something?”

“Don’t you have a job to be doing? Or do you get paid to annoy me?” God, he really doesn’t want to be interrogated about this right now. This day has been hard enough to get through, he doesn’t need to try explaining himself to Mitsu right now. He can barely explain how he feels to himself.

“Well,” she begins, leaning against the counter. “All my tables literally just got their food except one, and their order isn’t up yet. So at the moment, no, I don’t,” she says defiantly. “And if I got paid to annoy you, I wouldn’t even need this job.”

“You can say that again,” he grumbles.

“So, are you seeing him today or not?” she persists.

Terushima rolls his eyes, wishing the coffee pot would fill faster. “Well if your freaking life depends on it, yeah. I’m gonna try and see him after work. Happy now?”

“You’re really focused on this one guy, huh?” she says with a certain softness. He wants to be annoyed, but she’s not wrong. Actually, maybe that’s what’s annoying. “That’s unlike you, Teru. I don’t know if I should be proud or worried,” she laughs.

“Kaneko!” A voice calls from the kitchen and Terushima feels a relief wash over him at the excuse to end this conversation.

“That would be your food,” he coos, Taking the now full coffee pot and turning away before she can protest. 

He checks the clock.

***

“It was weird, he really looked like he was about to say something else, ya know?” Daichi says into the phone as he flips a pen around in his fingers. He had kept his promise, telling Suga about his day with Terushima almost as soon as they got home from practice. “Then he just kind of left, so I don’t know I guess.”

 _“Maybe he was gonna ask you out,”_ Suga coos over the phone.

“And maybe you’re only saying that because it’s what you want,” Daichi replies. It’s kind of what he had hoped too, but he would never admit that.

 _“It’s what you want too though,”_ Suga replies with a smile that Daichi can hear in his voice. Daichi sighs, because it’s true. He knows it now, he’s given in to that fact. So he likes Terushima, whatever. 

The truth is, even if Terushima isn’t actually right for him, shouldn’t he at least try? Suga is right about Daichi, he doesn’t even give himself a chance anymore. He dismisses every opportunity for a relationship that comes his way, he makes excuses. He doesn’t have the time, he’s not interested, he has responsibilities. He denies everything. He doesn’t like anyone, he doesn’t want to, he’s okay being single. In reality, something in him just feels like he doesn’t deserve it, which is stupid, he knows, but he can’t help it.

Before now he never even really noticed or cared about his love life, or lack thereof. A relationship just didn’t fit in his life and he was okay with that. He’d help other people, worry about other people, watch other people, like someone on the outside. But lately it’s been creeping up on him, this sort of longing. And you know what? He’s realizing he misses having someone like that. He _wants_ a relationship. Whether he thinks he deserves it or not, he can’t help that he wants to feel that way. 

He wants this.

“Fine, yes. I do, okay?” Daichi finally admits. He really hates admitting these kinds of things out loud but it was only a matter of time really. Suga is kind of relentless, but that’s what makes him a good friend. Daichi actually feels kind of better, not having to guard that information anymore, though now he just feels vulnerable.

 _“Ahh I can’t believe you actually said it! Oh my god, I’m so happy!”_ Suga shouts into his ear. Daichi tries to act annoyed, but the joy in Suga’s voice pulls a laugh out of him. _“Seriously, it’s been so long since you’ve liked anyone, this is exciting. I want you to be happy.”_ He’s so genuine when he says it and it makes Daichi remember how lucky he is to have a friend like Suga in his life, because he means it. All Suga ever wants is for everyone to be happy.

 _“I’m also glad you’re actually doing something for yourself for once,”_ he continues, _“I know you’re the captain and all, but you worry too much about everyone else. I can’t remember the last time you did something just because you wanted to.”_

“Me either,” Daichi admits. It’s kind of sad when you say it out loud, but he has responsibilities. There’s not much time to do things for himself when he’s worrying about school work, his team, his family, his job. He has a lot of people who count on him, he can’t let them down.

 _“So, you need to tell me--”_ Suga starts, but the rest is interrupted by the sound that indicates he has another call.

“Hold on, sorry, someone else is calling me. I’ll be right back,” Daichi explains, before switching the call. “Hello?”

 _“Are you home right now?”_ A voice says into the phone, Terushima’s voice. Even if he weren’t sure, the lack of any sort of greeting gives it away.

“Hi. Um, yeah, why?” Daichi answers, confused.

_“Are you doing anything?”_

“Not until like six, why?” he asks again.

 _“Cuz I’m in the area right now anyways, so do you wanna hang out?”_ he asks in response.

“Like right now?” Daichi asks, a little surprised.

_“Yeah, I’m literally walking by your house. That’s why I figured I’d ask.”_

“Shit, umm… I don’t know.” Well, he’s on the phone with Suga right now and he was literally about to say something. Not to mention he just said he’d be right back. It would be kind of rude to just hang up on him. They were actually having a conversation, about this exact thing but still, he feels bad. Suga doesn’t get Daichi to actually talk about this kind of thing often.

 _You should’ve ditched me and gone with him!_ Suga’s voice from the cafe chimes in his head. Honestly, Suga will be more mad if he passes this up. Do something for yourself, Daichi, for once.

“Actually, sure, I’ll be out in a second,” he says before he can second guess himself. He hangs up and goes back to the line with Suga. “Hello?”

_“Hey.”_

“I’m sorry I actually have to go,” Daichi says with the phone pressed between his ear and his shoulder as he starts putting on real clothes instead of the sweats he was lounging in.

 _“What, why? Who was that?”_ he questions curiously.

“Terushima. I was yelled at for not ditching you last time,” he answers with a grin. “So, I’m ditching you.”

 _“Wow, I see how it is,”_ Suga replies like he’s insulted before it gives way to a laugh. _“Have fun, I expect an update when you get home,”_ he practically sings before hanging up. Daichi smiles to himself as he rushes down the stairs. He’s so lucky to have Suga.

***

Suga puts down the phone, unable to stop smiling to himself.

“Ugh, I’m so proud of him.”

***

“So, where are we going anyways?” Daichi asks, shoving his hands in his sweatshirt pockets and glancing over at Terushima. His outfit always looks so hastily thrown together, but it works well on him.

“The park near your school. Remember when I said I walk by here all the time?” Terushima replies, returning the gaze and making Daichi quickly look in front of him instead.

“Oh, yeah.”

“Yeah, so I was headed there anyways and I figured I’d see if you were home,” he explains. “I used to go all the time as a kid.” He says with a sort of longing.

“But don’t you still go sometimes?” Daichi asks, a little confused as to why he seems so sad. They’re literally going there right now.

“I mean yeah, but not as much,” he replies, kicking a rock down the road, his eyes lazily following it’s erratic path. “It’s not the same anyways. I don’t have as much free time, not as much freedom in general, in a way. You think too much once you get older.” Daichi considers this. He can definitely relate to overthinking things.

“It’s still a great pace,” Terushima says quickly. “I love it there, but it’s just a completely different thing now if that makes sense. It makes me a little sad, ya know?” 

“Yeah I get what you mean,” Daichi mumbles thoughtfully, trying to remember the last time he went to that park to do anything but read a book. He hasn’t been in the woodsy part since Manami was living at home. He hasn’t had a reason to, which is kinda sad. _Do you need a reason?_ Terushima’s voice rings in his head. 

“Sometimes I go back, like this, just because,” Terushima says softly, probably the softest he’s ever heard him speak, all his usual excitement temporarily hidden. He catches up to the rock and kicks it down the road. “Sorry I’m being so lame, we’ll still have fun, I swear!” he says suddenly, voice full of life again. He recovers the carefree atmosphere from before so easily. “God, I didn’t mean for this to be some sad nostalgic thing,” he says, shaking his head like he can physically remove the thoughts.

“Don’t worry about it,” Daichi says with a soft smile as he comes up to the rock from before and kicks it further down the street. Terushima looks at Daichi and smiles brightly as they reach the edge of the park, like he was waiting to see if Daichi would kick the rock. It takes Daichi off guard, making him feel this warmth somewhere inside of him just at the sight. He would do anything to make him smile like that again.

They cross the large expanse of grass with it’s benches and walkways to where the trees begin. It’s been forever since Daichi has been this far, but Terushima seems to know exactly where he’s going, so he just follows.

“This tree,” Terushima says, pointing to a huge tree right by the edge, “Is how we knew where to start. We had this trail we took through the woods all mapped out, like some sort of quest. Every kid I hung out with knew it by the end of the summer,” he explains with a smile, diving between the trees and quickly carving out a path he definitely knows by heart. He goes to fast, jumping over logs and ducking past branches. It’s so smooth, almost like he’s dancing with the trees and Daichi can’t help but smile at the sight, though there’s a certain weight on him as he walks through the greenery, trying to catch up.

Terushima goes along, pointing out spots the whole way and telling stories with a childlike enthusiasm that Daichi kind of envies. The spot where they used to play some pretend game about a wizard, the tree where one of his friends broke a wrist, another one with names carved in it, little flowers he used to collect for his mother. The whole way he points out the landmarks they all used to know they were going the ‘right way’ and Daichi begins to wonder where they’re actually headed.

They’ve been walking for a while and Daichi is becoming increasingly amazed at Terushima’s ability to follow these vague landmarks through an array of trees that look like a maze to Daichi, though they probably only seem vague to him. To Terushima it’s probably like navigating through streets in a city rather than a forest with no paths. He can even point out every difference, every fallen tree, every patch of underbrush that used to be clear, and Daichi finds himself just watching on in awe as Terushima walks along, so completely in his element. 

It’s so nice to see him open up like this, to see even more of who he really is. It just makes him want to smile. He talks like he’s known Daichi forever, bringing him into this space that clearly means a lot to him. It seems so easy for him, being open. It makes him so easy to be around, and Daichi loves it.

Daichi stops a few times too, telling his own stories of adventure. He came here as a kid, but his memories seem a far fewer and fuzzy in detail. Terushima still listens like it’s the most amazing thing he’s ever heard. It almost makes him self conscious, having those glowing eyes on him, almost like he’s not worthy of the attention. He tries to shake it, but the feeling weighs on him, even now as he stops. He actually remembers this spot.

He looks up and Terushima stops, turning to him. 

“What?” he asks, following his eyes to a large tree. 

“I remember this spot. We would climb this tree,” he explains, pointing. “But I couldn’t reach so Manami would go up first and pull me up,” he recalls with a small smile, a private one.

“So, what are you waiting for?” Terushima asks.

“Hm?” Daichi looks over at him, confused.

“Aren’t you gonna climb it? Or do you still need a boost?” he jokes, going over to the tree and looking for the best way to get up. 

“This branch,” Daichi says, walking over without even really noticing, like he’s not in his own body. He grabs the branch and walks his legs up the tree, pulling himself easily into a world he never used to be able to reach on his own. It’s so different now. It feels like he shouldn’t be here and it’s suffocating.

He tries to relax, but that heaviness stays somewhere inside him, like he’s not allowed here anymore, breaking some unspoken rule. Every time he looks at Terushima and it’s clear he still knows this place, like it was yesterday, but Daichi doesn’t anymore. He almost feels like he’s intruding, coming back to a place he already abandoned. His childhood memories live here, it’s not a place for him to make new ones. Besides this is Terushima’s place.

As he considers jumping down, Terushima’s face appears over the edge of the branch Daichi is sitting on, goofy smile as wide as ever. He reaches an arm up and pulls himself higher, though when he realizes there’s nowhere to go, he just hangs there, his face right by Daichi’s. Daichi thinks he could kiss him if he wanted too, and his face warms at the thought. Terushima just looks at him, stares, and Daichi thinks he can see something there in that gaze. 

But what if he’s wrong? 

He could kiss him. He could kiss him, but he shouldn’t.

“Cool tree,” Terushima says finally, looking up, and maybe his cheeks are pink too, or maybe Daichi is imagining it. Maybe it’s the lighting. Maybe he’s wrong.

 

Terushima is so confusing and Daichi doesn’t even know what to do or how to feel. One second, he’s sure he’s flirting, the next moment he’s almost positive he’s not. Daichi still doesn’t even know if he’s into guys. God, he should’ve thought about that before now. But he can’t deny that the way Terushima looks sometimes makes Daichi’s heart do something weird in his chest. That can’t mean nothing. There’s something there, but what if he’s reading it wrong? He wants this, but what if Terushima doesn’t? He likes him, but what if he ruins it? 

Every time they have a quiet moment, Daichi thinks that they could kiss, it’d be so fucking easy. But it could ruin things just as easily. Not to mention no matter how into it Terushima looks, he’s always the one to break the moment. Maybe that’s a hint. Maybe he shouldn’t get his hopes up. He should probably just forget about that stuff for now. It’s probably nothing. 

“There it is! We’re going the right way,” Terushima says excitedly, bringing Daichi back to the present as he runs towards a tiny brook. “We used to try to go the whole way only stepping on the rocks. It was kind of like a rule, I think we made up something about monsters that ate you if you touched the ground. It’s easier now, with legs this long,” he chuckles, hopping onto the first rock and walking effortlessly from one to the other. His excitement is so unfiltered. God, he looks so cute, and right when Daichi is trying to forget about it.

“I can remember doing this with my sister when we were really young,” Daichi says, walking alongside him.

“What are you doing?” Terushima asks, stopping in his tracks and looking at Daichi like he’s committed a crime. 

“Walking?” Daichi replies warily.

“Um, no. From here it looks like you’re getting eaten by monsters. There are stones to hop on, Sawamura,” Terushima says matter of factly, like it’s so obvious. “Seriously, how can you even resist hopping across? It’s like the only way to do it.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Daichi responds with a shrug. The rocks are wet in places, he could slip. Then his shoes would be wet, which isn’t really worth the hassle. Plus, if he falls wrong he could roll an ankle or something. With qualifiers coming up, he can’t risk that. Besides he’s not a kid anymore, he would feel weird, especially being so close to Terushima. He doesn’t want to force something that’s not even--

“Well?” Terushima cuts off his thoughts. Daichi looks up to see Terushima, waiting expectantly with an outstretched hand and the widest, most genuine smile, like an invitation.

Daichi can be here again. 

And just like that, nothing from before matters.

***

Something just changed in Sawamura, Terushima could practically feel it. Even just in the wide smile he gets when he’s finally up on the rocks, you can tell he feels better somehow, like he’s relieved.

He’s a busy guy with a lot of responsibilities, Terushima knows that. You can sense that he’s always thinking about something, but just for a second it seems like he stopped, like he let go, and Terushima loves it. They hop along the rocks and it feels so nice, so easy. If he could feel like this forever, he would. 

 

“We’re here,” Terushima says finally, hopping off the rocks onto a sandy little clearing where the brook bends and widens into a stream. This has always been the final destination, any time he’s come here, and it’s as beautiful as ever. He sits down, facing the stream, the trees behind him hanging just barely over his head. 

He loves coming here still. Terushima loves noise and commotion and people, but even he sometimes needs a moment to be alone and just take in the silence, to breathe. It helps him clear his head. He can’t get that anywhere at home, so he comes here. It seems like everyone who ever knew about the spot has grown out of visiting, so it’s usually pretty peaceful. Something about these woods in particular is comforting to him. 

He’s not sure why he wanted to bring Sawamura here, but it just kinda feels like he had to. It’s not a place to be shared with everyone, but he wanted him to see it, to experience it.

“This is beautiful,” Sawamura says softly, looking around as he sits beside him. 

“Isn’t it?” Terushima says, unable to contain his excitement as he turns to him. “I love it here so much. It’s my one quiet place, though when I was a kid it was sort of the opposite. Everyone would come here to hang out and be idiots. We actually used to try to climb that,” he says, pointing to a huge rock across the stream. It doesn’t look as big now but it’s definitely still above his head.

“As kids? How old were you?” Sawamura asks, sounding legitimately concerned. 

“Did I mention we were idiots?” Terushima chuckles in response. “Reckless idiots, at that.”

“Doesn’t sound like much has changed,” Sawamura jokes with a grin.

“I mean, you’re not wrong,” he laughs back. It feels so good to laugh like that. It feels so good to just be here with Sawamura, like they’re the only two people.

“Hey, Sawamura,” Terushima says after a long silence.

“Hm?”

“I think one of the coolest things about this place is how hard it is to find,” he says, watching the stream flow over a sharp rock. “It makes it feel special, ya know? When we were kids, it was like a secret meeting place, our own thing. You could really only get there if you knew how, and you could only learn how if you knew someone who knew. And being someone who knew made you feel so fucking important because not everyone did,” he chuckles. He can feel Sawamura’s gaze on him and he doesn’t turn to meet it, just looks down at his feet.

“Anyways, you only got to come here when someone who knew decided to show you how. I come here when I need to be somewhere quiet, but if you ever need it,” he trails off, smiling a little bit. “Well, now you know how.”

He looks over at Sawamura and the smile on his face is so genuine it makes Terushima’s heart do fucking somersaults. 

“Thank you,” Sawamura says finally, looking back down.

Terushima isn’t sure what the reason is for him, he’s not a mind reader, but it doesn’t take a mind reader to tell that no matter the reason, that meant a lot to Sawamura. And he’s glad too. Secrets are the most fun when you have someone to share them with.

 

Shit. Terushima was supposed to ask Sawamura out sometime during that walk, and not once did he even try. That was the whole point! God, he’s stupid. He thought there would be a good time, but he just couldn’t find the right moment. 

Oh, who is he kidding? There were plenty of great moments and he hesitated every time. He doesn’t know why, he was so ready to just go for it this time. What the hell happened to that, huh Teru? Idiot. 

It just makes him nervous, the thought of him saying no. Every time he thinks Sawamura is actually into him, he second guesses himself. Maybe he’s just in a good mood, maybe he’s just being nice, maybe he just wants to be friends, maybe he’s imagining that blush, that stare. So he did nothing, and now they’re almost back to his house and Terushima doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

He doesn’t want to have to say anything at all, he just wants to kiss him. That’s probably the worst idea he’s had out of all of them, but what else is he supposed to do? Asking doesn’t even seem like it’s gonna happen at this point, but kissing him could be bad if Terushima has been reading this wrong. He doesn’t seem like that kind of guy anyways, he deserves to be asked out on a proper date, dammit.

Easier said than done.

***

Today was so _good_. Daichi doesn’t even have words for the feeling that’s bubbling out of him as they walk back to his house. He doesn’t even know what to do with himself, it’s so overwhelming in the best way. It was spontaneous, and fun, and he got to just _let go_. They talked on that little beach for so long, about nothing and everything, just getting to know each other, and it was so fucking good. And on top of all of it, Terushima got rid of that heaviness, the anxiety, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Daichi honestly can’t even describe how good it felt just to be around someone like that, to be let in. He wishes he didn’t have to be home so he could hold onto the feeling for longer.

“This is where we part ways, I’m afraid,” Daichi says, a little more disappointed than he had intended on revealing. He glances at his house like it might get farther away if he tries hard enough.

“That it is,” Terushima replies, sounding just as disappointed. He looks up at Daichi, right into his eyes and suddenly he’s so aware of that look again, even more than before. It’s practically screaming at him and he can barely take it anymore with him so damn close like this. It has to mean something.

But then there’s that part of himself that says he’s crazy for thinking that. Terushima is a nice guy who wants to be friends, that’s all. Maybe he looks at Daichi like he’s the only one on the planet, but maybe he looks at everyone that way. Or he’s just imagining it. Maybe he’s imagining how close he stands too, or how long he stares, or how wide he smiles, or how he blushes when they’re close. It doesn’t matter, real or not. No matter how you look at it, this is a guess, and he could be guessing wrong. What then? Game over.

Terushima says something Daichi doesn’t hear, looking down and shifting like he’s gonna turn and go. Maybe that’s best, he’s probably wrong about this anyways. This was stupid. He’s stupid.

Then again. 

Terushima turns. It’s like slow motion.

Fuck it.

So what if Daichi is wrong?

Before his mind can catch up to his body, he’s lunging forward, grabbing Terushima with one hand to stop him from leaving, using the other to guide his mouth up to meet his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is. It happened. (This cliffhanger won't last a year this time, I promise.)
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, kudos, comments, all that jazz. They mean a lot to me and they remind me why I want to keep writing this. I appreciate all of it.
> 
> A special thank you to anyone who actually came back!
> 
> Have a good week, I'll be back with an update! (I mean it.)
> 
> UPDATE: The chapter is done but I'm the only one who's read it over so far and my sibling is super busy right now, so it might be a day or two before I post it.
> 
> (Seriously.)


	8. An Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So,” she says, pausing like Daichi might just start talking about it if she waits. He’s never been that easy though, she knows that. “What has you in such a good mood?” she asks finally, a sly little smile crossing her lips like she already knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with the next chapter, sorry for the wait! Believe it or not, it was actually done last Friday when I said it would be, but the person I have edit these for me has been super busy with school stuff and couldn't read this until today. But, here it is! 
> 
> This chapter doesn't advance the plot that much and it also doesn't have a ton of Terushima, sorry. It's mostly personal stuff with Daichi and a little more about his life in this story, but I think this chapter is still really important to understand him and the things he does a little better, especially in future chapters. 
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy the update!

Holy shit. Holy _shit_. What did he just do, what is he doing? Daichi’s mind finally catches up, realizing that he’s standing in front of his house _kissing_ Terushima. It’s a short kiss, just a gentle press of lips, only Daichi realizes in a second that Terushima isn’t kissing back. Fuck.

He pulls away quickly, taking his hands back like he got burned. Terushima is looking straight ahead, eyes wide, his mouth slightly open now. He doesn’t say anything, just brings a hand up like he’s gonna touch his own lips but never quite makes it. He shifts his gaze to Daichi and he looks away faster than he knew was possible.

“Shit, I, um…” Daichi stumbles over his words, nothing but useless garbage coming out of his mouth as his face heats up. What the hell is wrong with him? Why did he do that? God, he’s so _stupid_. He was wrong, so wrong, and now his brain doesn’t even know what to do. The movement was practically a reflex, he wasn’t planning for this outcome. Shit, now he’s just panicking--

And then, in an instant, a body flies towards him and there are lips on his own once again, hands on his face, and this time it’s his turn to be wide eyed in shock. It’s soft and slow, but longer than the first time, and eventually his brain kicks in again and reminds him to kiss back.

They pull away and Daichi knows he’s making the dumbest face he possibly could be, but he can’t bring himself to care. Terushima just kissed him. On purpose. 

“I’ve wanted to do that so many times,” Terushima says, breaking the silence. His face is so red as he breaks away from their gaze and Daichi can’t help but think it’s kind of adorable.

“Me too.”

***

Suga yawns, deciding to read his paper over one more time before calling it a night. It’s probably fine, but he’s a perfectionist about these things. He’s about to start when his mom opens his door and peaks in.

“Hey, I know it’s not really dinner time, but I made some food if you want any,” she offers, stopping to look at all the books and papers scattered around his bed. “Are you really still doing homework?”

“I’m almost done,” he assures her. “Just editing something.”

She purses her lips like she doesn’t believe him, but she nods anyways. “Well, come get some food before it’s cold if you want any,” she says as she slips back into the hallway.

“Okay, thanks,” he replies, about to get back to his paper when his phone vibrates below him somewhere. He’s gonna ignore it before he remembers the update he requested earlier from Daichi. He eagerly searches around for it, getting increasingly frustrated at how hidden it’s become under all the papers and blankets. 

When he finally finds it and checks the messages he almost drops the damn phone right back on the bed. He stares in disbelief, reading them again and again.

**Daichi:** I kissed him

“Oh my god,” he says, half in a daze. Another message. 

**Daichi:** And he kissed me back

“Oh my fucking goodness. Daichi... Daichi has a boy!”

***

“Suga, I really can’t talk right now,” Daichi says into the phone as he examines the selection of onions in the store. He tries to be stern, but he can’t help the grin that spreads across his face.

 _“What the fuck do you mean you can’t talk right now?”_ Suga yells into the phone, his excitement tangible. _“You can’t send me a message like that and not immediately explain yourself!”_

“I already told you I would explain later, but you wanted an update as soon as I got back or whatever, so I gave you an update,” Daichi replies as he weaves through the aisles. “You did this to yourself,” he adds, kind of enjoying getting a rise out of Suga.

_“That’s not an update, that’s a cruel cliffhanger.”_

“It’s Sunday, Suga, I’m at the store right now and then I have to go cook. What do you want me to do?” Daichi argues back. It’s not like he’s gonna be home that late.

_“Fine,”_ Suga grumbles. _“But if you forget--”_

“I won’t forget! Don’t you worry,” Daichi assures him, scanning the grocery list in his hand. “I’ve already surrendered to the fact that I’m gonna be explaining every detail of my love life to you,” he grumbles. “Anyways, I’ll talk to you later.”

_“You better.”_

“I will!”

 

He knocks on the door, waiting patiently with the groceries in his arms as the sun begins to set. It’s only a few seconds before the door swings open to reveal Nakamura, smiling sweetly up at him. She always says she earned all her wrinkles from smiling like that through the years, says it’s the best way to get them.

Nakamura is his neighbor, has been since he moved here when he was young. She's honestly one of his oldest friends now, literally and figuratively speaking. She’s also the kindest, most caring woman that Daichi has ever met, aside from his own mother, though she’s got a lot more character to her than just being the sweet old lady next door. She has a lively sense of humor and a casual way of speaking that can be very much unfiltered, but sometimes that’s what you need. Daichi has had more than a few problems over the years that she’s helped him with, whether he knew it at the time or not. She’s just easy to talk to like that. He doesn’t know what he would’ve done without her. 

When him and Manami were really young, she used to babysit them since their parents weren’t always home, so he got to know her pretty well back then. It was good for him, having her to talk to. She has this wisdom that you can only acquire through age, and sometimes the things she says are so effortlessly profound. Maybe that’s why all Daichi’s friends think he sounds so much older than he is. Probably.

“Eiko-san,” he greets with a quick nod of his head and a smile. She’s always insisted on people using her first name.

“Back already? I’d hoped I could be rid of you for longer,” she jokes warmly, turning back into the house and gesturing for him to follow her inside. “Now that’s got to be record timing. What, did you run here or something? Are you that hungry?” She chuckles and he laughs as he slides off his shoes.

“Pardon the intrusion,” he says quietly to himself. He knows she doesn’t care much about those kinds of things, but it’s a habit. 

“So polite,” she teases under her breath from the other room.

He follows her into the kitchen and sets the groceries on the table. She’s quick to start putting them away and he’s quick to set aside the things they need for dinner. It’s muscle memory now, seamless as clockwork. 

They do this every week. 

Since Manami had gotten old enough to watch Daichi herself, they didn’t see Nakamura as much as they used to, which was kind of sad to realize. He still saw her sometimes, like when Manami wasn’t around to watch Daichi, but eventually he outgrew a babysitter all together. When that happened, there was this gap where they barely saw her beyond a hello here and there. Daichi didn’t realize how much he missed seeing her until one day, when he found himself with a problem he didn’t know what to do about, he went to see her. Who else would he go to?

She wasn’t mad that it had been so long, she wasn’t upset that he only came back because he had a problem, she just smiled and said that’s the way it goes sometimes. She was just glad he found his way back. 

Still, Daichi felt guilty. He didn’t want to come here only when he needed something, that felt wrong. She was always so important to him, always there. He couldn’t treat her like that, he wouldn’t. 

So, they came up with a sort of agreement. Every Sunday, when Daichi is typically home alone for dinner, he goes next door. She gives him money and a grocery list, and he does her shopping for the week. When he gets back, they cook, they eat, and they talk. It saves her the trip, gets him a free meal, and they both get the company. It’s nice, he looks forward to it even. It gives him a second to stop what he’s doing with all the chaos in his life and just clear his head.

“So, what have you been up to?” she asks, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“A lot of the same,” he replies as he puts on some soft music. “Work, school, college stuff, volleyball.”

“How is that going? Aren’t you boys still in a tournament right now?” She asks from where she has her head ducked in the fridge.

“Yeah, the Spring Tournament. It’s going good,” he says, smiling. He means it, and that’s exciting. “Right now we’re preparing for the Qualifiers, which is what determines which team from our prefecture will go to Nationals.”

“Then what was the match you were talking about in August?” she asks, trying to connect dots in her head. She tries really hard to keep up with his schedule, it’s sweet. “That was for the Spring Tournament too, right? Or no?”

“It was,” Daichi responds as he gets to work washing vegetables, raising his voice to be heard over the water. “Those were the Prelims, to decide who makes it to the Qualifiers.”

“Oh, okay,” she says like she suddenly understands everything there is to know. 

“Qualifiers aren’t until October, by the way,” he adds. 

“So, what are you doing right now then?” she asks as she walks up beside him to start trimming the meat. She’s very particular about it so he always lets her do it. Meanwhile, he gets to peeling and cutting the vegetables. “Practice?”

“Yeah. We practice a lot as a team, obviously, but lately everyone has been working really hard on their own things,” Daichi replies, smiling to himself. “I’m really proud of them actually, they’re all trying so hard to get better, for the team and for themselves.”

It really has been amazing to see the team starting to evolve. It’s slow, but it’s just the beginning of something big, like a phoenix finally beginning to rise out of the ashes. As a member of the team, he’s excited to see his teammates getting stronger and smarter, more passionate and determined. As a captain, it puts him at ease to see them all starting to grow on their own. He guides them, sure, but it’s starting to feel like his baby birds can almost fly without him. Suga would probably yell at him if he said that.

“That must be especially exciting as their captain,” Nakamura says, practically reading his mind.

“Yeah, it’s kind of nice,” he admits. “I worry a little bit sometimes, about us leaving after this year. Third years are always sort of a foundation for a team, the kind of thing you can’t create in a year. But seeing them all start to take these first steps on their own makes me think they’ll be fine without us when the time comes. We’ve given them most of what they need to be that strong foundation for next year, which is our job as the upperclassmen. Now, we just need to see it through to the end, finish what we started.”

They deserve that much at this point. They’ve worked so hard for this over these years, no matter how many people said it was pointless, or too ambitious, or stupid. If they had never tried their best back when it supposedly didn’t matter, they wouldn’t have the chance they do now. This is the third year’s last shot at Nationals and he’ll be damned if they waste it.

“You sound so wise, Daichi,” she comments with a smile. “You’ve grown up a lot to be able to realize things like that.”

“That’s means a lot, coming from you,” he replies, returning the smile.

“You’re trying to get to Nationals now, yeah? That’s what the Qualifiers are about?” she asks after a long moment of silence, aside from the sounds of knives on a cutting board.

“Yeah.”

“It’s been a long time since Karasuno has been considered a school that can even get to Nationals. Isn’t that what people say?” she asks. The words ‘fallen crows’ run through his head, putting a sour taste in his mouth. He wants to get rid of them, wants to make it so nobody can ever say them again.

“Yeah,” he says softly, trying not to direct his anger at her. “Why?”

“Because I don’t think people are going to be able to say those things for much longer,” she says with a serious tone to her voice. “I know they won’t, because with the way you lead them, there’s nowhere to go but up. If you aim for the top, they’ll follow you. Those boys trust you.” It warms his heart, the way she says it with such certainty. “Don’t let them fall,” she adds softly, commands almost.

“I won’t,” he says with just as much certainty. She smiles. 

“I’m rooting for you,” she adds playfully. It sounds like she could just mean she’s rooting for their team, but somewhere in her tone he’s sure she means it for him.

In reality, Daichi thinks she’s been rooting for him since day one. Through all the hard work and the failures she’s been patient, like she had known it wasn’t time yet. She’s just been waiting for this moment to come, this turning point. She’s seen him grow, fall down, pull himself back up, become a leader, a leader she probably always expected him to be.

He has no right to let her down.

***

“So how did it go?” Bobata coos from his position on the beat up little couch as Terushima lays on the floor in the studio with his sketchbook.

“How’d what go?” Okada asks curiously from across the room, spinning around in her desk chair to look at them. He had kind of forgotten she was in here.

“His date, but not really, but kind of,” Bobata answers before Terushima can even get a word out. “He took a pretty boy into the woods,” he adds, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Terushima grumbles, flinging his pencil at him, though he just catches it.

“I’m keeping this, you nerd.”

“I need that!” he says, sitting up to reach for it as Bobata holds it further away. “This is my good pencil, Kazuma, come on!”

“Shouldn’t have thrown it then.” 

“Well you shouldn’t be such an ass wipe.”

“Hey! Now you’re never getting it back,” he says defiantly. God, why are all his friends so annoying?

“Come on!”

“Nope. It’s mine now,” he says smugly, though he drops it pretty quickly when Terushima finally just jabs him in the side.

“Wait,” Okada says, reminding them both, again, that she’s still in the room and they were having a conversation a few seconds ago. “By the woods do you mean that park in the next town over, the hidden part? Like that little sanctuary type thing you like?” she asks, almost in disbelief, or as shocked as you can sound when you talk that gently. 

“Well--”

“Yes, yes he _does_ ,” Bobata cuts him off.

“Wow. You like this guy a lot,” she comments, almost to herself. Terushima finds himself blushing a little because he can’t really deny it anymore. He doesn’t really know what it is he feels or how to go about it, but Sawamura is just someone he can’t get enough of. 

“So back to where we started before we got _sidetracked_ ,” Bobata starts, narrowing his eyes at Terushima. “How did it go?”

“He kissed me.”

“First?” Bobata asks sounding surprised. I guess it it kinda surprising for Terushima to let someone else make the first move. Well, ‘let’ isn’t really the right word but whatever.

“Yep,” he replies. “It scared the shit out of me cuz I wasn’t expecting it, then I stood there like a complete idiot because I literally couldn’t believe that Sawamura wanted to kiss _me_ ,” he recalls. God, his mind had been spinning so fast in that moment. He couldn’t process anything aside from the fact that for some reason, he was being kissed. “And then he pulled away and I realized he thought I didn’t like it or something, which was _not_ the case.”

“Probably cuz you were standing there like an idiot,” Bobata chuckles.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Terushima agrees, mentally kicking himself for that moment. He even can’t remember the last time he froze up like that, if there was a last time. 

“So what did he even do?” Okada asks, moving to sit next to Terushima on the floor so she can be closer to the conversation. She folds her legs up under her long, flowing skirt, looking at Terushima like a child waiting to hear a bedtime story.

“Well I think he was like trying to apologize, or something, I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening at that point,” Terushima replies, tugging on one of his earrings absentmindedly. “But then my brain finally started working again and I kissed him back, so everything was all good.”

Bobata shakes his head with a fond smile. “You’re so ridiculous, Teru.”

“Hey call me what you want, but one of us got to kiss a pretty boy today and one of us didn’t,” Terushima teases. “Just sayin.”

***

“So, if you aren’t gonna tell me, I guess I’ll just ask,” Nakamura says as they start to eat.

“Tell you what?” Daichi asks, confused. He kind of panics a bit in his head. He doesn’t think there’s anything he was supposed to tell her, not that he can recall. 

“You’ve been in a particularly good mood the past few weeks. You practically haven’t stopped smiling since you came in here,” she starts, and Daichi’s mind begins to catch up. “But, you keep telling me it’s been the same old stuff. Nothing special, no matches you won or anything.” She looks up expectantly at Daichi and he looks down at his food as casually as he can manage, trying to will his face to stop heating up. 

“So,” she continues, pausing like he might just start talking about it if she waits. He’s never been that easy though, she knows that. “What has you in such a good mood?” she asks finally, a sly little smile crossing her lips like she already knows.

How could she know? It’s Terushima that’s making him this happy, obviously. That’s the only significant thing that’s changed in the last few weeks, and he’d be lying if he tried to say he wasn’t happy about it. Of course he’s happy, happier than he admits. 

He met someone really cool that he was kind of interested in, who he had an actual chance with, who he even _let_ himself have a chance with for once. And then he got to spend time with someone outside of his tiny circle of friends for the first time in forever, getting to know someone new. And you know what? He enjoyed it a lot. Terushima makes him feel stuff he hasn’t let himself feel in a long time, and he likes that. He can admit that. He missed it. 

He’d always said he was okay being single, but he forgot how happy he could be with someone else, even if it’s not really much of anything yet. 

Despite acknowledging all that in his head, Daichi keeps those things to himself as much as possible, with the exception of Suga. He doesn’t talk about it, so logically, Nakamura doesn’t know, she can’t know.

Unless she saw him about two hours ago. Kissing Terushima in front of his house. Which is also in front of her house. 

Shit.

He tries not to visibly panic. God, what if she saw that? How does he address that kind of thing? He tries to tell himself that maybe she didn’t see it, but a part of him is very sure she did. What does he even-- 

“I can practically hear you thinking over there,” Nakamura says, ripping him from his thoughts. He puts a bite of his slightly forgotten dinner in his mouth, calmly like a normal person who isn’t freaking out and has nothing to hide. He slowly looks up at her, smiling across the table at him and shaking her head. “You’re so easy to read, Daichi. Maybe some people don’t see it, but you’re really an open book when you’re not paying attention, you know that right?”

Daichi doesn’t even know what to say. He just stares with a mouth full of food, knowing and choosing to ignore how red his face must be as she chuckles to herself. 

“So it’s a somebody not a something,” she says, almost to herself. He still doesn’t know what to say, what to do. His mind is going way too fast to process any kind of response, or better yet to get him out of this conversation all together. He just swallows his food. “I can’t remember the last time you were interested in a girl,” she continues.

Daichi stops dead in his movement for another bite of food. 

Oh. 

He quickly forces himself to act natural, pulling himself from his own thoughts long enough to actually take a bite of his lukewarm dinner. “Anyways, I won’t torture you. We don’t have to talk about her if you don’t want to, I’m just teasing,” Nakamura continues with a dismissive wave of her hand. If he were stupid he’d think she didn’t notice.

He realized three things just now. First, Nakamura didn’t see a damn thing because she thinks Daichi likes a girl and Terushima is not a girl. Second, Terushima is not a girl. He kissed a guy today. On purpose, meaning he has at least some kind of attraction towards guys, which oddly enough still isn’t something he’s given much thought. That brings him to his third realization.

Daichi kissed a guy today, but Nakamura doesn’t know that. She has no idea that his someone isn’t a girl, and he’s just now thinking about the possibility of her not being okay with that. Holy shit. What if she isn’t? How is he supposed to know? What would he even do if that were the case? Oh God, he can’t answer any of those questions, he doesn’t even know if he wants to answer them. Now that he’s thinking about it, there’s a lot of people that could be not okay with this and he hasn’t even been considering that. It’s never been a thing he’s had to consider, and now he doesn’t even know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, comments, kudos, and all that good stuff, I appreciate it a bunch! I hope you liked the chapter and I'll try to get another one up by Friday if I can, especially since this one was so late and I'm technically still trying to stick with a once a week schedule. But if not, expect it pretty soon after that.


	9. Not Romantic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The thing is, it’s not because it’s you. I don’t want to tell _anybody_ ,” Daichi explains, or tries to. For some reason he’s having trouble right now. “I don’t want to be thinking about it at all.”
> 
> “Ignoring everything doesn’t make your problems go away,” Asahi says back. “You tell me that all the time,” he points out with a grin, like he’s just been waiting to throw that back at him.
> 
> “Shut up, I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapters and the random update days. I usually try to keep it pretty regular but there's a lot going on right now. Hopefully this will smooth out once graduation season is over. This chapter was actually done over the weekend but I have to wait for them to be edited and all that good stuff. 
> 
> Anyways, the two of them are just kind of doing their own thing in this chapter, sorry. More relationship stuff is coming, I promise. But this chapter is kind of necessary for future stuff so I hope you enjoy the update anyways!

Daichi doesn’t talk to anyone about how worried he is, not even Suga. But he’s worried. He’s worried that people will care who he likes, which is something he’s never had to deal with before, and that’s stressful. And it sucks, because when you’re afraid people will care, there’s no good way to actually _know_ if people will care. Maybe people will react fine, but he can’t be sure.

Of course he knows there are a lot of people on the team who won’t care. Suga only likes guys, and the people who know that don’t mind, never have. It should be reassuring to know, but it’s not. Sure, most people who know that Suga’s gay aren’t bothered by it, but there are still the few who are. He’s heard the stories. There will always be those people. The part that scares Daichi is that those few people could be the people he cares about the most.

So he’s worried. But, he doesn’t talk to anyone about it because he just doesn't want to. Not yet. He’s not ready to address any of that when he has a lot going on as it is. So, for the time being, he ignores it. Of course, in the back of his mind it nags at him. He knows he can’t ignore it forever, but for now he focuses on the rest of the chaos.

“One more!” Ukai yells, spiking a ball far to Daichi’s left, almost too far. He dives, managing to get to the ball in time for it to connect with his arms and fall right where the setter would be in a real match.

“Nice receive.”

“Nice Daichi-san!”

“Good job, Sawamura. Who’s next?” Ukai asks, Kinoshita stumbling forward soon after.

As Daichi moves off the court, he sees the way Hinata is still watching him with that mixture of amazement and determination he usually wears. He forgets sometimes that these guys look up to him. Daichi sets the tone at practice, and he has the power to bring everyone up or drag them all down. He always has to be thinking about that. That’s the responsibility that comes with the respect he’s earned. His energy is the team’s energy. 

He has to remember that he’s still their captain, even when his day isn’t the best. Obviously there’s gonna be bad days-- he’s human-- but there’s no time to sit around all day worrying about his personal shit with his head in the clouds. People will notice that. It affects things. Not to mention they’re in the middle of a tournament right now. He needs everyone focused at practice and that includes himself. 

So he keeps his worry in the back of his mind and no one asks. Suga may be able to read him frighteningly well sometimes, but Daichi deserves some credit, too. He knows when to be a closed book, even to Suga.

***

Terushima really wishes he weren’t a procrastinator sometimes. Well, he always wishes that, but there are times when he’s really kicking himself for waiting so long to get something done. Now is one of those times.

He lets out a long sigh as he runs out of white paint yet again. This is like the tenth time tonight- seriously, it’s annoying- only this time he really runs out. Not only is there none on the mixing tray, but there’s also not a single drop left in the bottle. He’s already cut it open and gotten out anything he can.

“Why does the white paint run out so quick?” he groans, tossing the empty container across the studio into the trash by the kitchen. 

“Can’t relate,” Futamata says from the other side of the space where he’s been editing photos, hunched over at his desk. He doesn’t do drawing or painting or anything like that. He’ll never understand this struggle.

“Shut up, Takeharu,” Terushima calls across the room, earning him a laugh. With that, Terushima pulls himself off the floor and stretches, a chorus of cracks coming from his stiff body. God, how long has he been sitting? Well, a glance at the darkened sky out the windows tells him it’s been too long. Did he ever eat dinner? He should do that at some point.

For now he just looks down at the painting so far, deciding he’s actually pretty happy with how it’s coming along. Yeah. Yeah, he likes it. He smiles to himself. It’s always nice to take a step back and genuinely like what you’ve made.

His friend Tamura has a birthday coming up and she’s been nagging him for a painting for a while. She likes his paintings the best out of the stuff he does, says she likes his style a lot. He doesn’t really have a ton of free time, but he figured this would be the best time to do it if he’s ever going to because she’s away for two days visiting her sister for some family thing, which means she won’t be in the studio to see him making it. 

It’s really perfect timing, though today is the second of those two days, and while he’s happy with how it’s coming, he has to finish this tonight and it’s not as close to being done as he wants. This is gonna be a long night.

Anyway, he isn’t gonna finish it standing here and he sure as hell can’t finish without white paint. Hopefully there’s still some in the back room, but you can never be too sure with how quick the white seems to disappear. Seriously, it’s annoying.

“I come bearing gifts!” a voice says suddenly from the direction of the door. Terushima turns to see Bobata fumbling into the studio with an armful of paper bags. As the smell of food hits him, he’s reminded of just how hungry he is. Really, how long ago did he eat?

“Is that food I see?” Futamata calls across the room, already scooting towards us excitedly in his desk chair. “Is that my best friend in the world over there with some _food_?”

“You bet your ass it is,” Bobata answers with a silly grin as he quickly sets all the bags down on Higashiyama’s desk before he drops them, since it’s the closest to the door and the most cleared off. He’s kind of a neat freak, especially in comparison to Terushima’s desk right beside his. 

“What’d you get?” Terushima asks, peeking in the bags curiously like a child. 

“It’s a bunch of different stuff from that place across the street,” he answers, slapping Terushima’s hands away. “I was on my way here and I hadn’t eaten yet, but then I assumed none of you idiots had stopped to eat yet either so I ordered a bunch. Is it just us four right now?” he asks, looking around the room.

“Aw, you know us so well,” Terushima coos. “And yeah, just us three and Okada.” He glances behind him to her desk where she’s in her own little world, drawing with her headphones on. She probably doesn’t even know Bobata is here. 

“Cool, cool. If there’s leftovers we can always leave them in the fridge for whoever,” he says with a lazy shrug. Bobata doesn’t come off as the kindest person in the world sometimes, but he actually thinks a lot about other people. 

“Where’s the Migrating Kotatsu right now?” Bobata asks eventually, glancing around the room looking for the illusive table. People use it for a lot of different stuff and whether they need it for something or they just need it out of their way, it gets moved around a lot. It’s never really had a place where it’s supposed to be, hence the name Migrating Kotatsu. 

“Oh it’s on our side by Ota’s desk. He was using it last,” Futamata replies, pointing over his shoulder. 

As he finally gets all the way over to where they’re standing, he looks down at Terushima’s painting. He gets this cute, proud look on his face when he’s looking at his friend’s art. What a softie. He probably doesn’t even know he does it. “This is coming along pretty good, Teru. She’s gonna be so excited that you finally did it.”

“Thanks, man. It’s gonna be even better when it’s actually done,” Terushima responds. It’s always super exciting when something like this is finally done, he loves it. “Speaking of which, I’m gonna go look for more white paint before I forget. I wanna make sure we still have some, and I’ll tell Okada there’s food while I’m over there.”

“Okay cool, we’re gonna set up the table and stuff,” Bobata says, turning to grab one of the food bags.

“We?” Futamata jokes.

“Yes _we_ , I just brought you food!”

“I don’t wanna get up though, is the thing,” Futamata says with a stupid smile as he spins in his chair.

“Fine, no food for you.”

“Ya know what actually? I have reconsidered and I’d love to go get the Migrating Kotatsu.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Terushima laughs and shakes his head, finally going to look for paint.

“What?” Okada asks, pulling off one side of her headphones turning around in her chair before Terushima even gets all the way to her desk. She’s the only one with a desk on this wall of the room, tucked in the corner between where the storage closet sticks out into the room and where the hallway starts, so usually when people are over here she just kind of assumes someone has been trying to get her attention.

“Oh I didn’t say anything yet actually, but Bobata brought a bunch of food if you want some” Terushima says with a lazy wave of his hand. 

“Oh okay, thanks,” she says with her shy little smile. “I’ll get some in a second, I just wanna finish this part.” 

“Cool, I’ll be right back. Gonna see if we have any more white paint,” he explains as he continues towards the hallway.

“Good luck. White paint is a rare creature,” she jokes before turning back to the drawing she’s inking.

“Haha, thanks,” he replies with a lopsided grin, looking over her shoulder for a second before moving on. He loves Okada’s drawings. He’s excited to see this one finished.

Anyways, paint. Paint, paint, paint, where the hell is the paint? He turns down the long hall, the music they have playing in the main room fading, and stops with his hands on his hips, surveying the room. This might be more of a task than he thought. It’s a complete mess in here right now. Since the last gallery they had here, it’s just kind of been used as storage, filled with random stuff that no one quite knows what to do with. If something is missing, odds are it ended up here somehow. There’s random chairs everywhere, most of them with other things stacked on them in piles. Paper, boxes, fabric, books, art supplies, sculptures, canvases, and a ton of random junk, all arranged like some weird maze. Half of it looks like it shouldn’t even be here. Even the old stand up piano is covered in stuff now. Terushima actually forgot they even have that thing. God, they really need to clean this place soon.

His eye catches on a little rolling cart near the middle of the space, filled corner to corner with different bottles of paint. He makes his way over and starts the search. He sees a white bottle and picks it up eagerly, only to find that it’s been relabeled as ‘light purple’ in Ota’s messy handwriting. He opens it up just to check, and now that he sees it, he’s pretty sure it’s the leftover paint from when Ota repainted the chair by his desk, the one he uses for all the shit that doesn’t fit on the desk itself.

He’s really bummed when after a minute or two of searching, it’s clear that there’s not a single container of white in the whole cart. He almost gives up until he notices a box nearby with some paints along with a few pieces of wood and a lamp he’s pretty sure is broken. Upon tearing through it, he actually finds an entire unopened bottle of white paint near the bottom and it honestly feels like he just hit the lottery.

“Finally,” he says, hugging the paint to his chest and beginning to make his way back to the hall. 

Only when he gets there, Mitsu is there suddenly. She must have just come in looking for him or something. She’s holding her own arms in a way that makes her look small despite her usual confidence, her head turned to the side and her braid falling out. Looking closer, he thinks she might have been crying about something earlier, though he can’t think of any reasons off the top of his head. He wonders what happened this time.

“Mitsu?” he says as he approaches her. She looks up, her eyes glossy yet filled with so many emotions at once, he can’t even decipher them. “Are you okay?” That’s a dumb question, but she doesn’t answer it anyways.

She just closes the gap between them wordlessly. In one step she’s pressed against him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him down in a tight hug. He wraps his free arm around her back and holds her, not sure what to do or say. He’s never quite sure what to do when she’s like this. Normally they can read each other really well, but when Mitsu is this upset, she’s different. She can want a number of things, and it’s nearly impossible to tell what.

Sometimes she just wants to talk to him, let all her thoughts out, just rant. That can be all she needs to get a better grip on the situation, or at least feel better about it. He talks, too, some days, gives her advice and whatnot, but other times he just listens. There are times she doesn’t want to talk at all and just wants to be near somebody. She’ll sit with him while he draws, lean on his shoulder, fall asleep curled up next to him like a little kid. Other times, she’ll kiss him, maybe even go farther. It depends on the situation, whether she needs sympathy, a distraction, trust, humor, love, advice, companionship, or maybe just some unemotional sex. 

It’s just kinda what they do, how they are. Everyone knows that, and everyone knows it’s not romantic or anything like that either, never has been.

Apparently she wants more than a hug right now though, because as Terushima spaces out, she shifts, suddenly pulling him down into a kiss. It’s a familiar kiss, soft and desperate and almost fragile, the way she is only when they’re alone. He knows it well, but at the same time there’s something about it that feels... different. He can’t tell what it is, but it almost makes him uneasy. Still, he lets her kiss him.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Terushima finally tries, breaking the kiss for a second. His mind is so scattered right now he didn’t even bother to ask earlier.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Teru,” she replies quietly, pulling him back down. That’s how that question usually goes. He’ll find out someday, when she wants to talk.

For now he just tries to be there for her. She parts her lips, kisses him deeper, and he kisses her back, but he still can’t get rid of that feeling. What is it? He almost wants to shrink away or something, which is weird because he’s never felt that way around Mitsu before. He likes being the person she goes to, the only person she really trusts, but right now he almost wishes he wasn’t so he wouldn’t feel so bad wanting to get out of it.

He’s brought out of his thoughts when he feels her fingers resting on the edge of his pants, like she’s asking for permission. He drops the paint and grabs both her wrists before he even knows what his body is doing. It startles both of them.

“Teru?” Futamata’s faint voice calls from the main room.

“I just dropped something, it’s fine!” he manages to shout back. When there’s no response, he lets out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. 

“What’s wrong?” Mitsu asks him quietly. Probably because he’s never reacted like that before. He’s not sure what the hell _made_ him react like that. It’s not like he’s not okay with it or something. He usually is anyways, but I guess right now he’s not? Though there have been other times that he wasn’t really up for it and he just said so, and she understood. No problem. So what the fuck was that?

Suddenly he realizes her hands are no longer on him, that she’s trying to pull them away from his grip, the tight grip he still has on her.

“Shit, sorry. I really didn’t mean to grab you like that,” he says quickly, letting her hands go and pulling his own back. “I just, I can’t right now, I’m sorry,” he says apologetically. She just looks at him skeptically, her hands back on her arms, shrinking away like she doesn’t even want to touch him anymore. It breaks his heart to see her like that. 

“I have a painting I really need to finish tonight, that’s what the paint is for,” he explains clumsily, trying to make it better, trying to fix whatever he just did so she won’t look at him like that anymore. He looks around for where the paint fell, picking it up. “I, uh, I’m already not quite as finished as I wanted to be with it, but you can still hang out if you want, obviously. I mean, you don’t have to but there’s food and stuff you can have, and I’m set up by the couch so you can hang out there, or,” he trails off, not sure what else to say. Now he’s just rambling. God, he’s such an idiot.

She just nods and turns around, her braid flicking over her shoulder. He follows her back to the couch. She sits. He paints. They all eat. 

Mitsu doesn’t really talk. No one questions it either because they all know how she gets sometimes. They probably saw how upset she was when she came in looking for him. They also don’t know part of her being upset is now Terushima’s fault, so they don’t ask him about it.

***

Daichi shuffles into the music store, breathing in the familiar smell, Asahi right on his heels. It’s a Thursday, the only day they both work. Thursdays are kind of nice and kind of annoying at the same time. He likes working with Asahi. He plays good music, they always have things to talk about, and they work well enough together. They have a pretty good system and it’s nice, but he also likes the days where it feels like nobody knows who he is. Something about that is relaxing. It’s almost like Terushima’s little sanctuary in the woods. Daichi loves everything he does, all the chaos, but sometimes you just need a break.

He sighs. He doesn’t want to think about Terushima right now. Well, he does, but he doesn’t want to have to think about everything that comes with it. He’s been doing a pretty good job of not worrying about it so far, and he’d really like to keep that up for as long as he can. It’s not like it’ll go away or anything, but if he can just delay this whole ordeal a for little longer, he’s going to.

“Are you okay?” Asahi asks suddenly, bringing Daichi back to the present. 

“Yeah, why?” Daichi responds as they put their stuff in the back room, confused at how concerned Asahi looks. 

“Because you just spaced out so hard you didn’t even notice Nakada when he said bye to us just now,” he responds. “And you’ve been like that the whole walk here.”

“What?” He doesn’t even remember seeing Nakada in the store, though they must have since his shift is the one right before theirs. Is he really that scattered right now?

“Suga isn’t the only one who notices this stuff, you know,” Asahi adds as he takes his hair out of the bun he had it in for practice. “I mean, I know I can’t read people like he can, but you’re still my friend, Daichi.” That’s true. Daichi probably doesn’t give Asahi enough credit. While Suga notices when Daichi is acting even the tiniest bit different, Asahi usually notices when he’s trying too hard to act normal.

“I’m fine,” Daichi says dismissively with a wave of his hand, going back out to the store. Of all the people for it to be, he didn’t think Asahi would be the one making it hard for him to ignore his problems. That’s like, Asahi’s thing. Can’t he just let Daichi be a hypocrite about it in peace?

Daichi picks up the box of CD’s on the counter and disappears into the shelves to re-stack them. He gets a few minutes to himself while Asahi hooks his phone up to the speakers in the store and puts on his usual work playlist, but after that he joins him in stacking the CD’s. They’re silent for a while, Asahi sorting them by genre then alphabetically by the artist while Daichi puts them back where they go. He almost thinks they’re done with the topic, but of course he’s wrong.

“If something is actually bothering you, you can talk to me you know,” Asahi says sheepishly, breaking the long silence. “Don’t feel like you have to if you don’t want to! I don’t want to pry or anything if it’s none of my business,” he adds hastily, fumbling the CD he’s holding. He sighs. “I don’t know. I guess… well, I know we’re not quite as close as you and Suga, but I’m still here if you need me.”

It makes Daichi kind of sad to hear. He’s not necessarily closer with Suga, they’re just close in different ways. You can’t really compare them. He might be harder on Asahi, but it’s because he knows how much he can do when he actually tries, and sometimes he needs that extra push. And despite being hard on him, Daichi still considers him one of his closest friends without a doubt. It’s been the three of them since they were first years during a time when the club had no heart left. They pushed through it together, even when no one else would. Those kind of people grow on you, you can’t really help it. He sighs.

He knows Asahi is gonna be stressed about this if he doesn’t say anything, and as much as he doesn’t want to continue this conversation, he can’t let Asahi think that Daichi doesn’t trust him or something. He probably should tell him about all this stuff honestly, but it’s just not something he wants to get into in general. Not to mention that, again, he would have to deal with asking Asahi to keep a secret, which can be more anxiety for him than it’s worth.

Daichi slides a CD onto the shelf a tad forcefully by accident, startling Asahi. He probably thinks he made Daichi mad, maybe he’s planning his escape route right now. “Okay first of all, I tell Suga things because he’s fucking relentless about it,” Daichi says lightheartedly before Asahi can actually run away, earning him a chuckle. “And you know that I trust you, you’re one of my best friends. This is just…” he trails off, trying to find the words.

“You really don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Asahi offers. “I just wanted you to know that you can.”

“The thing is, it’s not because it’s you. I don’t want to tell _anybody_ ,” Daichi explains, or tries to. For some reason he’s having trouble right now. “I don’t want to be thinking about it at all.”

“Ignoring everything doesn’t make your problems go away,” Asahi says back. “You tell me that all the time, remember?” he points out with a grin, like he’s just been waiting to throw that back at him.

“Shut up, I know,” Daichi says back, no bite in the words. He sighs as he contemplates whether or not to just talk to Asahi, just get it off his chest and out of the way, even if he doesn’t solve anything right now. Maybe Asahi is the best person to talk to. He might have some good input, and he’s not gonna push Daichi to do anything about it yet if he doesn’t want to. Maybe he should. Maybe talking about it will help Daichi sort things out himself. 

He glances over at Asahi, who looks up with this tiny, knowing smile, like he was just reading Daichi’s mind, like he somehow knew all along that Daichi would tell him eventually. He’s just waiting patiently for him to talk first, asking with his eyes. It’s kind of annoying.

_What’s bothering you? What’s wrong? Do you want to talk about it? Do you need to talk about it?_

“Oh, shut up, I’ll tell you,” Daichi finally caves in, looking away from those stupid eyes. 

“I didn’t say anything!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos, etc, all that jazz. I'll try to get the next chapter out by Friday (that's the goal anyways), so I'll be back in a few days hopefully!


	10. Dance With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So you just walked here in the middle of the night, with no warning, for no reason?” Daichi clarifies.
> 
> “Yep.”
> 
> “You’re crazy,” Daichi says, shaking his head but smiling nonetheless. He’ll never admit how happy that makes him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the update is so late. This chapter was hard to write for some reason and I had a really busy week. I'm still not happy with some parts of it but at this point I just need to post it. It is a little longer than usual, so there's that.
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy it!

“So who exactly are you worried about telling?” Asahi asks as he sorts the last of the CD’s and gets up to help with putting them away. 

Daichi sighs at the shelf, realizing he’s not gonna get away with just explaining himself and leaving it at that. If only it were that easy. He knows Asahi’s only asking because he cares, but he’d rather ignore it right now. 

Daichi looks down at the CD in his hand and pretends to have trouble finding its place while he takes the extra second to think. God, he does not know how to have this conversation. See, that’s the problem with deciding to ignore something. Now, he’s supposed to come up with a good answer to a question he’s been purposefully _not_ thinking about. 

Well actually, that’s kind of a shitty excuse. The truth is, he doesn’t have to think very hard at all to know who he’s been worrying so much about. It’s been eating away at the back of his mind all week, how could he forget? But, he’s not sure he wants to talk about it right now, because that means thinking about it, which is admittedly kid of scary. Why do you think he’s been ignoring it? It scares the shit out of him. What if she--

“Is it the team?” Asahi prompts suddenly after the silence drags on.

“Not really, no,” Daichi replies easily. He’s glad to at least have somewhere to start, but it’s not very helpful information. Obviously he’s not worried about the team knowing his sexuality. Asahi definitely knows that. Most of the guys already know Suga is gay and are completely fine with it, and Daichi can’t see anyone else really having any problems with it, either. This particular worry never even crossed his mind in regard to his team, which is nice. 

“So, wait, why don’t you want the team to know then?” Asahi asks, furrowing his brows. “You did tell us not to tell them about Terushima, right?”

“Yeah I did,” Daichi confirms slowly, struggling to put his jumbled thoughts into words. “It’s... well, it’s not that I don’t want them knowing I’m… bisexual, I guess?” Huh. He hasn’t really put a label on it yet and it feels kinda weird to, especially saying it out loud. The word sounds weird coming out of his mouth. He thinks bisexual is the best word for it though. Yeah. He knows he’s still attracted to girls, and he’s always enjoyed dating them. Liking one guy hasn’t changed that, although liking one guy this much _has_ shown him that he swings at least a little bit in both directions. Apparently. 

“So, why then?” Asahi asks slowly, bringing Daichi back to the present after a verbal silence that’s probably gone on too long in his mental absence.

“Oh right, sorry,” he replies quickly. What was he saying? “I don’t think it would cause problems or anything like that, I just don’t want them to know I have a thing with someone at all, like in general. It’s easier that way I guess. I want to focus on being the captain when I’m at practice, nothing else. I don’t need to have people asking me about my love life or bugging me about him or any of that shit. Suga is bad enough on his own.” He likes to keep to himself, is that such a crime? As they finish up they make their way back to the front counter with the now empty CD box. 

“I can understand that, keeping your personal life personal,” Asahi says as he sits on one of the stools, and Daichi knows that he means it. Asahi is a big believer in the whole ‘you get what you give’ thing. He doesn’t like people prying about his personal life all the time and he’s not gonna wish that on anyone else.

“Exactly,” Daichi responds, relieved at the lack of resistance he gets when talking to Asahi. Sometimes he needs Suga’s endless questioning, he knows that. It’s more helpful than he likes to admit. But other times it’s nice to just talk. “I mean if they straight up asked me about it, I wouldn’t lie to them,” he clarifies, “but it’s not the kind of thing I’m gonna tell everybody just because I can.”

“Not to mention he’s another team’s captain, a team we might play. People would have a field day with that if they knew,” Asahi adds with a grin.

“Oh and there’s that,” Daichi agrees, exhausted just at the thought of having to deal with that. “What a _scandal_ ,” he coos sarcastically, putting the empty box in the back room before taking a seat next to Asahi.

“It’s obviously all just a plot to steal our team’s secrets and find out our weaknesses before Qualifiers,” Asahi jokes back.

“That’s a pretty long term, convoluted plan. Especially for a team we might not even play.”

“Yeah, that’s why no one will suspect it,” he points out like it’s obvious, and they both laugh. They go back and forth like that for a few minutes, making up the stupidest hypothetical situations with Terushima as some sort of crazy spy and laughing about them while they think up more. They’re probably not even that funny, but they still end up devolving into fits of giggles.

“Okay, okay, we got way off track,” Asahi says eventually, trying to calm his last few chuckles. It’s nice to see him so relaxed for once. “What were we talking about?”

“Can’t recall,” Daichi says, half joking and half wishing Asahi will actually forget so he can avoid any further questioning on the subject. He’s in a good mood now, he doesn’t need it to be crushed so soon.

“Oh yeah, the team,” Asahi remembers, ignoring him completely as he retraces the conversation in his head. “So, if the team knowing you like a guy isn’t a thing you’re concerned about, who are you actually worrying so much over?”

“Nakamura, mostly,” Daichi admits softly, remembering this past Sunday, the day that had started this whole nervous train of thought. He picks absentmindedly at the chipping paint on the old wooden countertop so he has somewhere to look besides Asahi’s concerned eyes. 

God, thinking about this makes him worry, but talking about it makes him downright anxious. It makes it feel so much more real, which makes him feel even more uneasy. He takes a deep breath, trying to tell himself that one of his favorite people in the world won’t hate him over this.

“Do you really think she’ll care?” Asahi asks tentatively, almost like he doesn’t want to hear the answer himself.

“I don’t know. I mean, I hope not, but you never know,” he replies quietly, keeping his eyes on the flakes of paint that fall to the floor. “I don’t know what she’ll think of me if she knows, I have no _way_ of knowing. Maybe she won’t care at all, but, maybe she’ll hate me, Asahi. I know it’s not certain, or even likely, but I couldn’t live with that.” He doesn’t even know what he would do. Just the thought of not being able to see her, talk to her, listen to her, makes him so stressed he wishes he could just shrink away and forget about it all.

“Daichi, she won’t hate you. She could never hate you. You know that,” Asahi assures him. His voice is honest and gentle, and maybe he’s right. Somewhere inside him Daichi knows it’s true. He doesn’t even know if Nakamura has the capability to truly hate anyone, but there’s another part of him that can’t help but doubt it. It nags at him, in the back of his mind, never quite letting him forget.

What if she does care? What if she doesn’t see him the same? What if he can never bring it up without an argument? What if she acts weird after she finds out, or worse, if she doesn’t want to see him in general? Maybe she won’t want him to come around anymore. Then he won’t get to see her or talk to her. What if he needs to talk to her? He’ll have nowhere to go.

He doesn’t even know how to respond, his mind going a mile a minute, but before he even tries, a customer walks in and the conversation ends abruptly. Asahi looks like he was about to say something else, but the words die on his tongue as he turns away reluctantly to greet the customer. He seems to back off after that, steering clear of the subject, and Daichi goes back to ignoring it. 

 

Daichi looks down at the math homework he has spread all over his bed and sighs, relieved that it’s finally done and frustrated that it has to take this fucking long. He’s not dumb, he knows what he’s doing, but it takes him forever to write out all the steps and shit, which is beyond annoying. He knows there’s quicker ways to do it, steps he could easily do in his head, but he just can’t. It’s irritating to waste all this time writing out every single part of the process for each question, but it’s even more irritating to try and leave it half finished. He’s tried, but his brain just won’t let him. 

It’s been worse lately, his OCD in general. He wants to tell himself that it’s the same as it’s been for the past year or two- there, but manageable- but as he erases the box around his last answer to try and fix it for the fourth time, he knows he can’t keep pretending it’s not worse. For a while he was able to let small things like that go, but not so much anymore. It’s not that bad, not worth worrying over, but it’s not that good either.

He looks at the box. It’s still crooked. 

Why does everything have to be like this? He knows it’ll never just go away, a part of him wouldn’t ever want it to, but why can’t things stay as easy as they were? He was fine before. He was fine for so long, why now?

No, he _is_ fine.

He sighs, putting that worksheet on the bottom of the pile so he doesn’t have to look at it anymore, trying to ignore the nagging in his head while he cleans up everything else scattered across his bed. He’ll forget about it eventually, he knows. It doesn’t make it any easier in the meantime.

Maybe he should just fix that box so he doesn’t have to worry about it. It doesn’t matter, but at this point it would be easier than trying to ignore the constant scratching in his brain. He should just fix it. He glances at the stack of papers. No. No he should leave it. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t. It does not matter… but knowing that it’s wrong is gonna bother him. But it’s not really wrong, it’s fine. It’s fine. Literally nothing is wrong. It’s not important either way. Doesn’t matter. 

See, he knows all that. He knows, he knows, he _knows_. That’s what _sucks_. Of course he knows that it’s fine but that doesn’t change a goddamn thing, which is infuriating. As far as he’s concerned, him and his brain are two seperate people right now, and even if Daichi is right, he’s not stronger. Not today anyways. Not right now. 

He glances at the papers. His brain yells at him.

God, just don’t fucking think about it. Forget it. Stop. Think about anything else. 

But that’s so hard when he can practically feel it, the way it’s out of place. It’s like an itch and it makes him absolutely restless. He should fix it. It’ll be quicker, easier. 

No. _No_ , he’s better than this, come on. He’s so much better than this, he thought he was over this shit by now. 

But apparently he isn’t. He isn’t because this tiny insignificant thing is gonna be the death of him.

He’s abruptly startled out of his thoughts by a loud thud against his bedroom window, making him swear and literally fall off the edge of his bed, papers and all. He sits up, pulling out one of the earbuds he has in to make sure the sound of him hitting the fucking floor didn’t wake anyone up. That would suck. He’s not really supposed to be awake still, but here he is, doing homework by the light of his tiny bedside lamp at almost twelve thirty even though he had assured his mom he was going to sleep more than an hour ago. 

Once he’s sure that his family isn’t coming to yell at him, he gets up to look out the window, only to see what he realizes is Terushima looking for something in the grass below his window. Of course it’s him. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he mutters to himself, unlocking the window and sliding it open. “What the hell are you doing? You just gave me a fucking heart attack!” he hisses down at Terushima, just loud enough to be heard. He only looks up with a smile and waves at him. Daichi’s eyes catch on the shoe in his hand, then his one shoeless foot as his brain connects the dots. “Did you just fucking throw that?” he asks in disbelief.

“Well I threw some little rocks first but you didn’t hear me so,” he trails off with a shrug.

“And you didn’t think that maybe I was asleep?” Daichi asks, annoyance thick in his tone.

“Were you?” Terushima responds so innocently that Daichi almost doesn't know what to make of it. It’s as if he’s not aware that normal people are asleep after midnight on a thursday.

“No,” he admits. “But I should be. The only reason I’m up was because I was finishing homework.”

“So you finished it then?” Terushima asks with a hopeful gleam in his eyes as he finally puts his shoe back on. He looks up at Daichi with a smile so full of mischief that he doesn’t even know if he wants to answer. At the same time, it’s kind of exciting, but he keeps that to himself.

“Why?” He asks instead of replying. “And more importantly, why are you here, throwing shoes at my window in the middle of the night on a weekday?” He asks incredulously. He probably should’ve asked that first.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t doing anything else and I wanted to see you,” he replies with a shrug, like this is the most normal thing in the world. It’s then that Daichi realizes that this probably is normal for Terushima, which is confusing as hell. He seems to run on a schedule that’s completely independent of the rest of the world, like he just does whatever he feels like doing if he can find a spot in the day for it. Every decision he makes is on a whim and Daichi will never understand how anyone can live like that, but it’s kind of intriguing, to say the least. 

“You could’ve at least texted me or something,” he points out.

“My phone may or may not be dead,” he admits, running a nervous hand through the back of his hair.

“So you just walked here in the middle of the night, with no warning, for no reason?” Daichi clarifies.

“Yep.”

“You’re crazy,” Daichi says, shaking his head but smiling nonetheless. He’ll never admit how happy that makes him.

“Thanks,” he laughs back, and really, Daichi can’t stay annoyed. Terushima may be completely insane, but he’s realizing that he kind of loves it. “So, you wanna go somewhere or not?” Terushima asks looking straight up at Daichi with a challenge somewhere in those mischievous eyes, like this is some kind of test. 

“Right now?”

Terushima just shrugs. “I’m already here. Why not?”

Daichi knows he should say no, that there’s so many reasons as to why not. First of all, this is crazy. It’s also late and he was just about to go to sleep, he should already _be_ asleep. Plus he has school tomorrow, and practice early in the morning. He doesn’t want to be tired for that. Not to mention leaving now would mean sneaking out of the house, which isn’t something he’s even considered doing before now. He’s never had a reason to and the trouble he would get in if he were to get caught really wouldn’t be worth it. He’d probably be grounded until he graduated if his father had any say in the matter.

The whole thing is a stupid idea, and there’s not even a good reason for being that irresponsible and irrational. They could easily hang out another day at a reasonable time so Daichi can go to sleep like he was supposed to over an hour ago. Maybe saying yes would be more exciting, but that’s not worth the trouble. 

All he has to do is say no, but something in Terushima’s expression keeps the words in his throat from escaping. He looks away.

“Come on Sawamura, live a little,” Terushima teases. Somehow Daichi can tell that this is as far as he’s is going to push it. If he says no now, Terushima probably won’t argue. He’ll just leave, maybe go bother someone else. Maybe this opportunity will never happen again if he lets it pass. He looks back at Terushima, at those eager eyes.

_Say no, I dare you._

Maybe Daichi will regret it. Well, he might regret it either way, right?

“Okay.”

***

Terushima kicks his foot lightly over the grass, a small grin on his face as he waits for Sawamura with his hands in his pockets. He almost can’t believe he said yes. Sawamura just doesn’t seem like the type to sneak out of the house, even if they’re not really up to anything bad. He’s glad though. He wanted to see him so bad.

He looks up at the sound of the front door opening quietly, smile widening at the sight of a sleepy Sawamura locking the door behind him. He looks pretty cute like this, casually dressed in sweats and a hoodie with his hair a little messy. When he turns to see Terushima staring, he blushes a little through the annoyed expression he makes, which is even cuter.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this right now,” Sawamura says as he follows Terushima to the street. 

“Oh, come on. It’ll be fun,” Terushima assures him, spinning around and walking backwards so he can look at him.

“Where are we even going?” he asks, to which Terushima just shrugs. Sawamura roll his eyes, but the slight smile that accompanies it doesn’t go unnoticed. “Of course.”

“Well, where do you wanna go?” Terushima asks, turning back around to face forward as Sawamura catches up with him.

“I don’t know, this was your idea. My only plans for tonight were to sleep, and I canceled those to be here,” he explains with a tired smirk. “Why are you up this late anyways?”

“Hey, you were up too,” Terushima points out.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t out and about like it wasn’t almost one in the morning,” Sawamura argues back, bumping him with his shoulder.

“Fair enough,” Terushima laughs. “I was actually at the studio earlier finishing a painting for my friend. Her birthday is coming up and I didn’t want her to know that I was making it, which is hard because she’s usually in the studio. But, she’s been out of town for the past few days and gets back tomorrow, so I kind of had to finish it by tonight,” he explains. “And, for the record, I wasn’t even the only one there this late.”

“You’re all crazy people,” Sawamura chuckles, shaking his head. 

“Yeah, but it’s more fun that way,” Terushima replies with a goofy smile that makes Sawamura smile even wider.

“What exactly is the studio, by the way?” he asks, looking forward again. “You talk about it a lot.”

“Hm? Oh.” Huh. Terushima forgets sometimes that Sawamura doesn’t know a lot of the things that are common knowledge to him and his friends. “It’s this art studio type thing above the diner that my dad ran for a while. It used to be a public space where people could make art or whatever, but then my dad and his friends opened a different community art space later on, a bigger and more official thing closer to downtown. After that, the old one just kind of became a private studio for a handful of people, including me and a bunch of my friends,” Terushima explains.

“That sounds so cool,” Sawamura comments, looking at Terushima like this is the most interesting thing in the world. “So it wasn’t a studio before your parents owned it?”

Terushima shakes his head as he shoves his hands in his pockets. “It was a few little apartments when they first got the property, but they only owned the restaurant part of it. Some old guy owned the apartments I think,” Terushima says, trying to remember the details. It’s been a while since he’s had to tell this story. “Anyways, my dad’s always been an artist, so he really wanted to make them into an art studio type thing someday if he could. Like, if the diner was my mom’s dream, the studio was his, ya know?” Sawamura just nods along, watching his own feet as he listens.

“So eventually they owned all the apartments, I forget what exactly happened,” Terushima continues with a lazy wave of his hand. “Then they renovated them into one big studio that a bunch of people used for a while. I remember being there a lot as a kid when it was still the public studio.”

He loved being in the studio as a kid. He’d hang around his dad, draw, talk to everyone. It was a fun place to grow up, like a second home, or third home if you count the diner. Even as his younger siblings grew up, the studio was still mainly Terushima’s space, never quite invaded by the rest of his life. It was just him and his dad against the world, like an escape. It was where he was comfortable, with people he grew to know very well. 

“So did everyone just move to the new place when it opened?” Sawamura asks, looking up. It makes Terushima kinda happy, how interested he is.

“Pretty much,” he replies with a shrug. “A few people stayed, mostly just the people who I was really close with since I obviously wasn’t gonna go all the way to the other studio. The small group of people who are allowed to use the one above the diner are all people my parents really trust, though still not everyone has a key,” he explains. “Some of them are my high school friends that I invited after it was already a private thing, but a few of them have been there since we were younger.” 

“That’s so damn cool, just having a place like that for you and your friends. I mean, I don’t do art or anything but I imagine that it’s a pretty amazing thing to have access to,” Sawamura comments excitedly. “I wish I had something like that.”

“You should come sometime!” Terushima offers, just as excited. “Then you could finally meet a lot of my friends too.” That would be so cool. Terushima talks about Sawamura all the time and they’ve never even seen him.

“Wouldn’t I be in the way or something?” he asks nervously.

“What? No, no one would care,” Terushima assures him quickly. “My friends hang out in the studio all the time, even the ones who don’t do art stuff, it’s fine.”

“Oh,” he says, seeming to consider this. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll come sometime,” Sawamura chuckles. It’s such a beautiful, easy sound. Terushima could seriously listen to that forever, especially since it goes with that adorable little half smile, like he’s trying not to smile but he just has to. 

“Sweet,” Terushima says, looking straight ahead again and grinning like an idiot as they continue to walk together, aimlessly wandering through the silent night.

***

.  
It’s beautiful outside right now, cool and quiet aside from the muted sounds of wildlife and the scuff of their shoes on the ground as they walk beneath the streetlights. It’s so peaceful and easy to be with Terushima like this and Daichi can’t help but think about how he would’ve missed this night if he had said no. Despite the slight anxiety that sticks with him about the possibility of getting caught, he’s still glad he came. Talking to Terushima seems to get everything else off his mind for a while and it just feels good.

Daichi looks over at him as the lights make the shadows on his face shift in a steady rhythm while they walk along. He’s so pretty, he really is, and every time they talk he gets to see how pretty he is on the inside, too. It makes him happy every time he gets another tiny piece of the puzzle to fit together, though every time he learns something new it just makes him want to know more. He could walk out here and just talk to Terushima like this for days, and he realizes in that moment that he likes being able to think that about someone.

“Ya know what?” Terushima starts suddenly, breaking the silence that had fallen over them. He doesn’t look over, just tilts his head back and stretches his hand up to the sky, opening and closing his fingers lazily, like he’s looking through them. “Sometimes I think it’s pretty lame that places like this are so empty at night. I imagine that being in a city at this same time of day is probably a lot more fun. Alive, ya know? It must be, but then I remember that they don’t get the stars like we do,” he finishes, finally looking over at Daichi.

Daichi looks away quickly, realizing he was staring. “I’ve never really thought about it,” he replies. He feels like he says that a lot around Terushima. It must make him seem pretty boring or stupid or something, but it’s true. It’s never really crossed his mind that other people don’t get to see the stars every night like he does. They’re just what he’s used to. He doesn’t even think about them, or about how quiet the night is around here. Why would he? “Maybe I’ve just always been content with the stars,” he comments eventually.

Terushima just looks at him for a second, face blank, and it makes Daichi panic a little. “Huh,” he starts, breaking into a wide grin. “That’s a pretty good way to put it.”

“Thanks,” he replies with a small smile of his own as he looks up at the stars, millions of stars that some people can’t even see. Even during the day, they’re still there. That’s weird.

“It’s so nice out right now,” Terushima says happily at his side, stretching his arms above his head. “You would’ve missed it, Sawamura. I did you a favor.”

“I never thought someone throwing their shoe at my window in the middle of the night would be considered a favor,” he says with a chuckle. “I am glad I came though,” he adds honestly. “I don’t do stuff like this very much.”

“Why not?”

He shrugs. Daichi doesn’t really know how to answer that. He’s never met someone who makes him think as much as Terushima does. He likes that. “I don't really know. I’ve never had a reason to I guess,” he answers simply with a shrug.

“See, there’s your problem,” Terushima says matter of factly. “You’re always looking for a reason for everything, Sawamura, but you don’t always _need_ one. There was no real reason for this, but you’re here aren’t you?” 

Daichi considers this. “I guess you’re right,” he says finally. He stops when he realizes that Terushima is no longer beside him, turning to see him a few feet back with his hand outstretched towards Daichi and a small smile across his face. “What are you doing?” he asks skeptically

“Do you wanna dance with me?” Terushima asks as if they were just talking about it, like this is a normal thing to ask right now out of nowhere..

“What?” Daichi asks, thoroughly confused.

“Do you wanna dance with me?” Terushima repeats like it’s obvious. 

“Right now?”

“What do you think?” he says, backing up so that he’s in the street, hand still out towards Daichi.

“In the street? Right now?” Daichi asks incredulously. “Why? What if a car comes or something?” 

“Sawamura, have you seen a single car the entire time we’ve been out here?” Terushima asks like he’s being stupid. Maybe he is. “Towns like this are dead as soon as the sun goes down, and even if there were a car, you can see like a mile in each direction. You’d have to have some pretty slow reflexes to get hit.”

Daichi looks around, hesitating. As hard as he tries, he can’t come up with a reason not to go besides his own apprehension. He can hear Terushima in his head telling him to live a little, but part of him is just so stuck.

“Are you serious right now?” he asks in disbelief. “Can’t we just keep walking?”

“Yes or no, Sawamura,” Terushima states plainly. “Do you wanna dance with me?”

“Why?” he asks, immediately aware that it’s a stupid question. _Why not?_ Stupid Terushima, making him think about shit.

“Do you want to dance with me?” Terushima repeats again instead of answering, an encouraging smile on his face.

Daichi glances around again, then looks back to Terushima. His expression is so inviting, so warm, his hand still outstretched like some sort of encouragement. He wonders what he’s waiting for, why he hasn't just said no yet, but it’s then that a thought occurs to him. 

What the hell does he have to lose right now?

“Yeah.”

***

Terushima’s grin widens as Sawamura finally walks into the street, taking his hand. He quickly pulls out his phone as he leads him to the middle of the street, putting on some music. Everyone knows you can’t be dancing in the street without some music. He puts the phone in his back pocket, speaker up, so he can hold Sawamura’s hip. It makes him visibly flustered and Terushima can’t help but think it’s pretty cute.

“Here,” Terushima says, guiding Sawamura’s free hand to rest on his shoulder. He’s so tense, it’s kind of funny. “Relax,” he chuckles.

“I have literally no idea what I’m doing,” Sawamura states with a little huff of nervous laughter as Terushima places his hand back on his hip.

“That’s fine, it’s really easy,” Terushima assures him. “I’ll show you. Just mirror what I do with my feet, okay?”

“I’ll try,” Daichi says, though he doesn’t look too confident.

“Don’t worry about it too much, just watch,” he replies, looking down at their feet. “I’ll step forward with this foot, now you step back at the same time, see?”

“With this foot?”

“Yeah,” Terushima chuckles.

“Don’t laugh at me, you ass,” Daichi snaps with no real bit behind the words.

“Sorry, sorry,” Terushima says, trying to contain his laughter and getting kicked when he fails miserably. He can’t help it, he’s happy. 

They fumble around for a minute or two, stepping on each other’s feet and moving the wrong way until Sawamura starts to get the hang of it. He wasn’t lying, it really isn’t hard. Eventually they’re moving pretty smoothly, though Sawamura still stares down at his feet with so much concentration. It’s kind of endearing.

“This is so stupid,” Sawamura mutters after a while, shaking his head, though Terushima can hear the smile in his voice.

“Of course it is, but you know you love it.”

“Where’d you learn to dance like this anyways?” Sawamura asks, looking up at him with those beautiful brown eyes for the first time since they started dancing. God, he’s so beautiful.

“An old friend of mine taught me a long time ago,” Terushima comments with a sad kind of smile. That familiar bittersweet feeling comes over him at the memory of Masumi, of that night. He’ll never forget when she taught him how to dance. God, it was amazing. Even now, he can remember it vividly, like he’s there again. Memories of her are always like that. She had that kind of affect on people. 

That night with her was a lot like this one, almost identical, which wasn’t actually Terushima’s plan when he came to see Sawamura tonight. This is just as spontaneous for Terushima as it is to Sawamura. He honestly didn’t have any real intention when he showed up tonight, but as they walked along together, something told him that Sawamura really needed to have a night like that one. If it was helpful for Terushima then, maybe it could be helpful for Sawamura now. 

He looks down at the man in question, who actually seems relaxed for once. His body isn’t as tense and his expression has this genuine calmness to it, like he finally let go of whatever was holding him back, at least for tonight. Terushima has to smile wider at that. That’s all he wanted. 

The whole situation happening like this just seems fitting. Back when it was Terushima and Masumi dancing in the street under the moon like two idiots, it was her who helped _him_ to realize something important for himself. Now, it seems like he’s passing that on to someone else, and that makes him happier than he can describe. It feels like this is how it should be, like he’s repaid some kind of debt.

“What’s with that face?”

“Hm? I’m just happy,” Terushima says with a shrug, raising Sawamura’s hand above his head and laughing at how startled he is when he realizes that he’s spinning him.

“Nothing makes a guy feel manlier than being twirled,” he says sarcastically as he regains his footing.

“Oh come on, you know it’s fun,” Terushima coos. “Here, you wanna spin me?”

He does, raising their arms so Terushima can do a graceful little turn beneath them, but before he’s even stopped spinning, Terushima realizes that up is no longer up and gravity is working against him. He’s aware that he’s falling for a split second before he suddenly stops, held by a strong arm beneath his back and face to face with Sawamura, who has a sly little grin on his face as those beautiful brown eyes practically stare through him.

“Did you just fucking dip me?” Terushima asks in disbelief.

Sawamura doesn’t answer, just leans down and kisses him, soft and sweet, before pulling a shocked Terushima back to his feet. 

“I win.”

***

Daichi creeps back into his room on silent feet, unable to wipe the smile off his face. He makes quick work of picking up all his homework from where he left it, scattered across his floor. He falls into bed, making a mental note to tell Suga about this tomorrow. That’ll be interesting.

He doesn’t even think about that stupid box.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'm going to try to post on Friday. I apologize in advance if it's late, but I actually have an entire week to write for the first time in forever so, fingers crossed! 
> 
> Anyways, thanks so much for reading! I also super appreciate everyone's comment and kudos and stuff! 
> 
> See you next week!


	11. These Are My Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they reach the bottom of the stairs, Terushima looks back at Daichi over his shoulder. “You seem nervous,” he points out with a smirk. 
> 
> “Yeah, well I think I’d be a crazy person if I wasn’t,” Daichi chuckles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry this chapter is so late. I had it more than half written but then I had to like... graduate and stuff. So, needless to say it's been an extremely busy week or so. But, it's officially summer break now, so hopefully I'll have significantly more time for writing and updating consistently.
> 
> Anyways, from here on out there's gonna be some flash back scenes, both for Terushima and Daichi, so those will always be the sections in italics. Also, the point of view doesn't change as much as I usually like, but the chapter was getting kind of long. On the bright side, this chapter is kind of long.
> 
> One more quick thing: I had to make some original characters for people like family, friends that don't play volleyball, etc. but since they're not names you know it may get confusing, especially since Terushima uses first names. So, let me know if you want me to put a list of all those names in the notes or something. 
> 
> Sorry for the all that rambling, but with that said, enjoy the update!

_Terushima walks lazily down the street, scuffing his shoes on the pavement as he and Masumi head back to his house. He watches his feet as he walks, swaying a tiny bit, only buzzed from the party he insisted they leave. She kept her promise, leaving as soon as he said the word, and he’s grateful for that._

_He had tried to let go, to have fun, he really did. But he just couldn’t do it anymore. There were too many people trying to talk to him, too many people trying to get in his pants, too many people who weren’t Asuka, but would probably hurt him just the same if he gave them the chance._

_It’s pretty pathetic that he can’t even have fun at parties anymore. He had gone to a few, back around when he had just started dating Asuka, before she had told him to stop going out. He used to love them. He loved the noise, the atmosphere, the people. Everything. He used to be able to have fun doing anything with absolutely anyone, but now it just feels like he has to have his guard up all the time and it sucks. She ruined one of his favorite things for him. She took away his ability to trust and took it with her when she left._

_His friends, if he can even still call them that, tried to drag him to parties once or twice after the breakup. They tried to remind him that he loved parties, tell him that it’d be fun, that he needed to get out and be around people again, that he’d get over it soon, find someone new. But it hasn’t happened yet. He doesn’t even want anyone new. He doesn’t want anyone at all._

_So he had stood around feeling like shit, drank a little, brushed off his friend’s attempts to interact with him, done his best to deter people from talking to him at all, and waited. He waited for it to feel the same as it used to, and then when it didn’t, he waited until he could just go home and try to forget about it. They stopped trying to take him out anymore._

_The worst part is that while he feels miserable, she’s walking around with a new guy every other weekend. He knows. He tries to avoid her, but even then he still hears about it. And the worst part is that he knows it’s true- that she’s doing it on purpose. He’s seen her around a few times, clinging to someone new, looking at Terushima with a cruel smile that explains itself._

_She never needed him._

_Thinking about it now, Terushima doesn’t need her anymore, either. He did for a long time, even after they broke up. He felt like he had absolutely nothing without her, but eventually he realized that it was when he was with her that he had nothing. No social life, no friends, no freedom. Just her. That’s all he needed._

_God, she was so toxic- abusive even. He’s so much better off without her. He knows that now, so why is he still unable to be happy again? It’s not fair._

_“Ya know, I thought you looked familiar when I first saw you in the studio,” Masumi says suddenly. He glances over at her, waiting for his eyes to catch up. She’s not looking at him, though. She’s looking up at the sky, messy, light brown waves cascading down her back even further. “I couldn’t remember why until we got to that party, and I realized that that’s where I’ve seen you before.”_

_“Oh” Terushima responds blankly. He tries to remember her, wonders if he should._

_“I don’t expect you to remember me,” she laughs, reading his mind. Or maybe he was making a face. He can’t tell. “I didn’t know you, and I remember wondering who the hell you were and why I didn’t know you because it seemed like you knew every person there. It took me a while to realize that you didn’t, that you were just that way with everyone.”_

_He huffs out a dry laugh. “Yeah, I’m not really that person anymore, sorry.”_

_“Why not?” she asks, genuine curiosity in her voice._

_He shrugs. “I don’t know, I just can’t be. It’s different now,” he replies, keeping it vague and hoping she’ll leave him alone soon._

_“Is it because you still miss her?” she questions, taking Terushima by surprise and making him stumble on his own feet. Someone must have told her about Asuka. So much for being vague._

_“No,” he answers eventually. He never misses the time he was with her anymore. If anything he’s relieved. It had been like someone putting pebbles on his shoulders every day, unnoticeable until it was an almost unbearable weight. Now he’s finally free of that burden. If anything, he misses what he had before her._

_“So then why not?” she repeats. This girl sure asks a lot of questions._

_“I don’t know.” Terushima sighs and rubs his hands over his face, trying to think. “Why do you care anyways?” And why is he still playing along? He doesn’t have to be answering these questions. “You don’t even know me.”_

_“Do I need a reason to care about you?” she asks, her voice serious. Terushima glances over in disbelief and she’s looking at him with these soft gray eyes, like she sees right through him. He can’t meet her gaze when she looks at him like that, so he quickly looks down. “I don’t need to know you to see that you’re not okay, to know that this isn’t the real you. It’s definitely not the same you I saw the first time,” she continues, and he can tell she’s still looking at him. He doesn’t like the way her words make something twist inside of him._

_“Yeah, well, it’s not your problem,” he grumbles quickly, shoving the feeling down, putting up those walls._

_“I know it’s not my problem. I didn’t have to talk to you today at all,” she replies, finally shifting her gaze off of him. “But I wanted to. It doesn’t have to be my problem for me to want you to be happy. That’s my own decision.”_

_“But why?” he asks, almost angrily. How can she care this much about someone she doesn’t even know?_

_“How could I not?” she says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You looked so defeated, I just wanted to see you happy. I don’t have to know you to want that.” Terushima bites his lip, realizing he knows exactly what she means. He used to do the same thing, always trying to cheer everyone up, talking to that one lonely kid, trying to make them smile just because they look like they need it._

_When did he ever stop being that person? When did he stop trying to make people happy? That was practically his job before, and now he’s standing here getting mad at this girl when that’s all she’s trying to do._

_“I could tell you were trying,” she states suddenly. “At the party, I mean.”_

_“What?” he asks, confusion on his face as he glances over at her._

_“You didn’t look like the kind of person who got dragged to a party,” she starts, staring into the distance like she’s trying to remember something. “You looked like you still wanted to have fun, like you were trying.”_

_“I guess I miss it,” he states plainly. He really does._

_“What’s stopping you?”_

_He hesitates. “I don’t trust people anymore,” he admits. “Not how I used to.” He waits for her to respond, but nothing comes, so he just keeps talking, eyes locked on his own shoes. “All I think about now is the possibility of people hurting me, no matter who they are or what they want. I don’t want to get attached to anyone. I can’t. I used to be friends with everyone and now I don’t even talk to my best friends. I don’t think they want to talk to me, anyways, and I don’t blame them. I don’t even think they’re really my friends anymore.” His throat gets tight and he stops talking, afraid of what will come out if he continues. He misses them. He’s tried not to think too much about it, but now that he has, it’s hitting him way too hard all at once._

_He’s alone._

_“Teru, they haven’t gone anywhere,” she says softly. “Not the ones who really matter, anyways. People like that don’t just go away. They still care about you- they always will.”_

_He just nods, trying to blink his watery eyes so he can see where he’s going and hoping she doesn’t notice. If she does, she doesn’t mention it._

_“Not everyone in the world is gonna be like her, ya know,” Masumi points out after a short silence. “I know that’s the only experience you’ve had, but trust me, they’re not all like that.”_

_“I know that, but still,” he trails off, his voice shaking slightly. Masumi sighs._

_“Look, I know that letting people in isn’t easy,” she says, looking over at him then looking back at the sky when he keeps his eyes firmly on the ground, “but not everyone is out to get you.”_

_“I can’t help that that’s what it feels like,” he mumbles. It would be so much easier if he could just tell himself that no one will ever hurt him like that again. He could believe it- that letting people in how he used to isn’t a disaster waiting to happen. But he can’t._

_He stops walking, realizing that Masumi is no longer beside him. He turns around to see her, lit up by the moon and the streetlights, looking at the empty street like she’s contemplating something. The breeze is warm as the bugs sing and they both stand there like time has stopped, Terushima wondering what she’s doing but too dazed to actually ask._

_Somewhere in the back of his mind he thinks she looks like some kind of angel with the way all her flowing layers of clothing are being swept up by the wind, practically glowing against the night._

_She turns her head to him suddenly, a crooked grin on her face._

_“Do you wanna dance with me?”_

***

Daichi’s walking home from practice, hands in his pockets and headphones in. He goes over all the homework he has to do in his head, trying to decide what order he’s gonna do this in to make it the most bearable. It’s then that his phone vibrates in his pocket.

 **Terushima:** Hey, are you out of practice yet??

Daichi is quick with his reply, curious as to what Terushima’s planning. He never knows what to expect with him.

 **Daichi:** Yeah I’m walking home now.

 **Terushima:** Cool, so would you wanna hang out right now? I’m at the studio so you could come and see it and meet people and stuff

Daichi bites his lip, thumbs hovering above his keyboard. He wants to say yes, of course he does. But he has homework to do and classes to pass, not to mention a father who’s just waiting for him to slip up. Sure, he knows he can find time to finish the work, maybe stay up late again if he has to, despite how tired he already is, but skipping out on the small amount of studying time in his schedule is always a risk. 

He contemplates this for a long time before replying reluctantly.

 **Daichi:** Sorry, I have a lot of homework to get done today. Definitely another day.

He sighs as he hits send. He almost regrets it, missing the opportunity to finally see the studio in person and meet all of Terushima’s friends. It’s not like it’ll never happen again, but still.

 **Terushima:** You can just do your homework here if you want. My friends and I do that all the time, and you were worried about having nothing to do if you visited the studio anyways so it’s a win win

 **Terushima:** It’ll be great. We’ve got a table, and some desks, and a couch if you wanna sit there, and nice lighting, and good music, and snacks, and lots of really good blankets, and pillows. It’s a prime study spot. 

**Terushima:** 10/10. 

**Terushima:** Millions of 5 star reviews.

Daichi can’t help but smile down at the messages and how excited Terushima seems just to have him come sit around and do homework. It doesn’t seem like a terrible idea, really. Maybe that’s just because he wants to go, but he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. Even if he doesn’t finish everything, he’ll still have plenty of time to do it over the weekend. It should be fine.

Although, he also knows that there’s a chance of him getting yelled at for ‘neglecting his studies’ even if he still gets everything done on time. 

Ya know what? Whatever. He wants to go.

 **Terushima:** You totally don’t have to if you don’t want to btw. Like it’s fine if you can’t or if you just don’t wanna come today.

 **Terushima:** Sorry I should’ve said that before.

 **Terushima:** You can totally come another time when you aren’t busy

Terushima backtracks quickly and Daichi realizes he may have left him without a response for a little bit too long.

 **Daichi:** Sorry, someone called me

It’s a lame excuse, and kind of an improbable one in all honesty, but Terushima doesn’t know that. A little white lie never hurt anybody.

 **Daichi:** Also I do want to come, I just have to tell my mom first so she doesn’t think I died or got kidnapped or something

 **Terushima:** That’s probably a good plan lol

 **Terushima:** Just lmk

Daichi stops walking at the point where he has to either head towards home or head towards the studio, quickly texting his mom to let her know where he’s going. It’s not like it matters much anyways. She won’t be home from work until he’s asleep, but he still likes to tell her. She replies quickly so she must be on her break.

 **Mom:** Okay have fun and be good! And be home by 11 please

 **Mom:** And text me when you get there!

 **Daichi:** Yeah I will

 **Mom:** Oh yeah, and thank you for the breakfast that was in the fridge!  <3

 **Daichi:** No problem

 **Mom:** <3 <3 <3

 **Mom:** <3

 **Mom:** <3

Daichi laughs and shakes his head. Fine.

 **Daichi:** <3

 **Mom:** Yay 

She’s so cute.

 

The diner looks weird at night, with no people anywhere and all the lights off. It doesn’t even feel like the same place, although for the first time Daichi can see that the second floor lights are on, silhouettes shifting in and out of view. It makes him realize how nervous he actually is, and for the first time all night he wonders how many people he’s gonna be meeting, and what they’re expecting, and if they know anything about him already. What if they don’t like him at all? He tries to shake this thought as he gets closer. It’s not like he can go back now. 

He sees Terushima out front waiting for him, just like he said he would be. Terushima waves when he finally sees him and Daichi waves back with a smile. 

“Sawamura!” Terushima says when Daichi is finally in front of him. “I’m glad you decided to come,” he adds, smiling wide and bright. It’s pretty cute.

“Me too,” Daichi says as Terushima leads him by a hand around to the side of the building. There, between the diner and the building to the right of it, is an old looking wooden staircase. It’s pressed up against the side of the diner, zig zagging up to a door on the second floor.

As they reach the bottom of the stairs, Terushima looks back at Daichi over his shoulder. “You seem nervous,” he points out with a smirk. 

“Yeah, well I think I’d be a crazy person if I wasn’t,” Daichi chuckles.

“Don’t worry,” Terushima says easily, turning to face him fully. They’re usually the same height, but he’s up on the first step and having to look up at him is really weird. “If I like you, they’re gonna like you,” he says confidently, tilting Daichi’s head up to kiss him. It’s quick, and before he knows it, he’s being dragged up the stairs. 

“I’m back,” Terushima greets happily as he enters the room while Daichi scans it quickly from behind him. It’s a large, open space with desks lining most of the walls. Even just from a quick glance he can see how each one is super different in terms of what’s on it and how it’s organized, or not organized in some cases. It’s actually pretty interesting. The whole place in general is pretty well kept for an art studio that’s essentially owned by a group of teenagers.

“And who’s that, Teru?” someone coos from a small couch near the middle of the room. Daichi had kind of been avoiding looking at the people until now, but he finally looks up. He can tell the kid is tall, even when he’s sitting down, and he’s just staring at him with a lopsided grin that makes him a little uneasy at first.

“Oh shut up, Kazuma, you know exactly who he is,” Terushima responds, as he takes off his shoes and Daichi does the same. Well, that answers his question from earlier. Apparently Terushima has talked about him. Hopefully nothing bad. 

“Don’t be rude, Teru. Introduce your friend,” a girl chimes in as she comes from somewhere farther in the room to lean her elbows right behind the couch where the first guy is. There must be a shelf or something back there. Either that or she’s floating. 

“Well I was gonna! He wasn’t even all the way in the door yet!” Terushima protests as he walks further in the room, Daichi following behind like a lost sheep, not really sure what to do with himself yet.

“He’s got a point,” a guy with long, dark hair says from a desk that’s almost in the far corner. Daichi hadn’t even noticed him until he spoke. He pushes away from his desk and even though his hair is up in a bun, Daichi thinks it might actually be longer than Asahi’s. 

“At least Seiji is nice to me,” Terushima huffs. “ _Anyways,_ this is Sawamura,” he finally says, gesturing to Daichi.

“Nice to meet you,” he says with a smile, not really knowing what else to say.

After that Terushima introduces him to the four people who happen to be in the studio. The tall one is Bobata Kazuma, one of Terushima’s teammates actually. It’s nice to finally put a face with that name. With how much Terushima talks about him, Bobata is essentially Terushima’s Suga. It’s actually really cool to see him interact with someone he’s that close to and see their easy, playful relationship.

The girl behind him is apparently Tamura Ayumi, a name that Daichi thinks he can recall coming up at some point. Then there’s Ota Seiji, the guy with the long hair. He almost doesn’t fit in with the rest of them, so mellow amongst a sea of endless energy. The last girl, Okada Haru apparently, was one Daichi didn’t even originally see. She’d been working on something at a desk on the left side of the room away from everyone else the entire time until they got her attention. Daichi almost felt bad for bothering her, but she seemed excited nonetheless.

They all seem nice enough, and it doesn’t seem like they hate him either, so that’s good. Daichi felt kind of awkward here at first, intruding in this place that’s pretty much someone else’s home, but after being bombarded with questions about himself and listening to them all endlessly tease each other, he somehow calmed down a bit. Eventually the stiff conversation eases into a comfortable banter and he decides that he’s pretty happy he came.

 

Daichi settles in so much easier than he ever thought he could and it’s so nice. Terushima was right when he said the studio was a good study spot. Right now it’s only lit by an assortment of different desk lamps and string lights around the room, the whole place giving off this warm glow as everyone around him just kind of does their own thing. Music is playing softly from somewhere in the room, a pleasant background noise as Daichi finishes up his paper.

He’s been sitting at a kotatsu doing his homework while Terushima sits on the floor nearby, going through papers that have begun to surround him in small piles. A lot of it is his old artwork, which Daichi periodically takes a second to look at. He still can’t believe the stuff that Terushima is able to make, seriously.

Daichi finds that he kind of likes watching Terushima when he’s like this. He’s still full of his usual energy, but at the same time he has this sort of calmness that’s come over him since they’ve been here. Maybe it’s just the general vibe of the place, but it’s nice just watching him move around in his little space, going through old papers with a nostalgic kind of smile across his face. At one point he’s curled up on the floor, resting his cheek on one of his knees, the other leg crossed in front of him. He’s smiling so sweety to himself as he gingerly flips the pages of what must be an old sketchbook, and it has to be the cutest thing Daichi’s ever seen.

Terushima also stops to make comments about some of the stuff he finds every once in a while, other people in the room joining in on the conversation to comment or laugh. Some of the things are probably inside jokes, but it’s still fun to see them all laughing together. The best part is that despite taking small breaks like that, Daichi has been able to easily go back to what he was doing, actually getting a lot of work done. This whole situation has made him happy in ways he can’t even describe.

He stretches his arms upwards when he’s finally finished writing his paper, his back answering with a satisfying chorus of cracks.

“Oh my god, was that you?” Terushima laughs in disbelief, looking up.

“Yeah, my back just cracked like twenty times,” he answers with a smile, relaxing back down and looking at the screen of his laptop, Terushima following his gaze.

“Did you finish?”

“Yeah, finally,” Daichi replies, going to save the latest version of the document before he forgets. “Now I just have to print it, because this is the one class where the teacher actually requires a printed copy to correct,” he explains. “But, I can just do that in the library on Monday.”

“You can print it here if you want,” Terushima offers. “I know we have a working printer somewhere, but it might be in the front back room,” he says, looking into the distance like he’s trying to remember something.

“Front back room?” Daichi questions.

“Oh yeah,” Terushima chuckles. “It’s the room down that hallway,” he explains, pointing to a doorway next to Okada’s desk. “It seems like the back room because of the way most of our desks face, but really that’s the side of the building that faces the street. So, it’s technically the front room, and somehow just calling it both at once has stuck.” 

“I see,” Daichi responds with a laugh, meeting Terushima’s eyes as he smiles even wider.

“Oh yeah! I remember where it is!” Terushima says suddenly. “I saw it the other day when I was looking for paint. It’s like right by the door.”

“I can go look for it,” Daichi says, standing up on stiff legs. 

“You don’t have to do that, I can get it,” Terushima says quickly, though at the moment he literally has papers all over his lap and around him on all sides. “It’s a disaster in there right now. It’s pretty much just junk storage at the moment.”

“It’s fine,” Daichi says with a dismissive wave of his hand. “You said it was right by the door anyways, right?”

“Yeah. It’s just this tiny, super old looking, black and white printer. Like this big,” he gestures with his hands.

“Okay.” Daichi nods, stretching again before making his way to where Terushima had pointed. “I’ll come back if I don’t find it.”

“Be careful back there. We’ll send a rescue team if you get lost in the abyss,” Bobata says as Daichi crosses the room.

“If you can’t see the door, just follow the walls,” Tamura jokes.

“The light switch is in the hallway,” Ota adds, the only legitimately helpful information so far.

“Thanks,” Daichi laughs. Through the doorway, it’s immediately a wall in front of him, but the hall continues to the right into darkness. He feels along the wall until he find the light switch, revealing where the hallway opens up into a room appropriately referred to as junk storage.

The printer is exactly where Terushima said it would be, on the floor about three feet from the door, but that’s not what Daichi pays attention to. What he really sees, beneath piles of stuff, is an old stand up piano. The dark wood is faded and worn in a lot of places. There are even a few spots with paint here and there, probably the result of it being in an art studio for who knows how long.

It’s beautiful. Despite the tightness in his chest, he’s still so drawn to the instrument somehow. It’s almost strange that that’s still true. He hasn’t felt that in a long time.

At this point, buried in a storage room and covered in dust, this piano is probably just as neglected as the one at home, but this is different. This piano looks like it’s had a lifetime of love and use, so full of character. The one at home is meant to appear completely untouched. It looks like it’s not _supposed_ to be touched. This one is almost welcoming.

Before he even realizes it, he’s right next to it, carefully touching the aged wood, wondering how long it’s been since anyone has played it. It almost seems like it’s not his place to be here, but at the same time, this piano is practically asking to be played.

He hesitates, but some hidden part of him wins over, and suddenly he finds himself carefully clearing off everything that’s between him and the keys, the dust making shapes where the stuff once was. He lifts the cover slowly, trying not to make noise as he reveals a set of slightly yellowed keys.

“Do you play?” Terushima’s voice comes suddenly from the doorway, startling Daichi away from the piano entirely, making him knock into an overstuffed box of fabric that thankfully doesn’t topple over. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s fine,” Daichi responds, letting out a long breath as he comes back to reality. He doesn’t even know why the hell he just did any of that. “And not really,” he lies automatically.

“Not really?” Terushima questions hopefully.

“No,” Daichi clarifies. Not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got a little bit of Terushima backstory, and a little bit of progress! I'll try to be back with an update on Friday if I can. For the first time in forever I don't have a completely packed week, so I'll try to be writing a lot more. 
> 
> As always, thanks so much for reading! I hope you liked the update. Thanks for all the comments and kudos and stuff, and I'll see you on Friday! (seriously)


	12. Yes or No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What?” Terushima finally responds, not sure what else to say, not sure what she expects him to say when he’s in the middle of self destructing. 
> 
> “Do you wanna dance with me?” she repeats, like this clears everything up. “It’s not that complicated, just yes or no.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! On Friday! For real this time! 
> 
> This chapter has kind of a long flash back section, but there's more plot coming, I promise. Either way, I hope you enjoy the update!

Terushima feels a happiness like he never has before as he walks Sawamura home. He can’t even explain it. Sure, he’s a generally happy guy most of the time, but this is different than his usual excitement. It’s softer somehow, warmer. It starts small and fills his chest slowly until he can’t help but smile a fond kind of smile. 

He looks over at Sawamura as he talks, sees the soft expression across his face, quiet but undoubtedly happy, and he wants to see him like this forever. He wants to see him how he was back at the studio, quiet and relaxed. He kind of loved that they weren’t really doing anything, just together in one of his favorite places.

Terushima could really get used to hanging out with Sawamura like that, and maybe he’ll get to. Maybe this can become a more regular thing. It seemed like Sawamura had a good time once he got a little more comfortable. That’s worth the excitement.

“I’m glad you came,” Terushima says as they reach their destination.

“Yeah, I’m glad I came too. It was better than doing the exact same thing by myself at home,” Sawamura says with a grin.

“I know my friends can be a little much sometimes, but I can tell they like you,” he adds. He’s not even just saying that either. They really seemed to warm up to him once the initial tension wore away. 

“I liked meeting your friends,” he answers thoughtfully. “They seem nice.”

“They were probably nicer because you were there. They’re usually crazy people,” Terushima chuckles. “Anyways, you should get some sleep. You look pretty tired and I don’t wanna keep you up all night again.”

Sawamura just shrugs with a small grin. “I don’t mind that much. It’s not like I have to be up early tomorrow. But you do,” he says, narrowing his eyes playfully and poking Terushima in the chest. “You should get some actual sleep.”

“Actually, I worked the breakfast shift today. I do lunch tomorrow,” Terushima corrects, poking Sawamura back with a triumphant grin. “So I don’t have to be up early either.”

“Whatever, you should still sleep,” he laughs back, swatting away Terushima’s hand.

“Maybe,” Terushima says, the tone of his voice giving away the fact that he doesn’t really plan on sleeping any time soon. Sawamura doesn’t say anything about it, just shakes his head as he tries to hide a smile. 

“Well, _I’m_ going to bed,” Sawamura says, looking up at Terushima and waiting, like he needs permission or something to kiss him. It’s pretty cute, so Terushima just grins at him and waits for him to close the gap between them. 

He does, eventually, placing his hand gently on the side of Terushima’s face as their lips meet. It’s soft and careful as Terushima rests his arms on those broad shoulders, but when he parts his lips slightly, Sawamura doesn’t hesitate to do the same. It’s not desperate, or fast, but there’s something about it that Terushima just can’t get enough of. Honestly, he thinks he could kiss him like this forever. Sadly, this is the end of their night, not the beginning.

Sawamura pulls away eventually, offering Terushima a gentle smile as he lets his hand slide away from his face. “Get some sleep,” he says as he untangles himself from Terushima and turns towards his house. Sawamura isn’t even looking at him, but for some reason Terushima can’t wipe the huge, lopsided grin off his face. 

He could really get used to this.

***

_“Do you wanna dance with me?”_

_Terushima just stares at her from where he stands, his fuzzy brain unable to process a proper response. Masumi doesn’t break the silence, her question hanging in the air as she extends her hand out towards him expectantly, eyebrows raised in question._

_He’s not sure what to do about that. It’s an innocent enough request, but he doesn’t understand why she’s asking. Actually, he really just doesn’t understand_ any _of this. What the fuck is she trying to do?_

_He literally just met this girl earlier today. She came barrelling into his life out of nowhere and now everything is getting turned upside down. She somehow got his sorry ass out of the studio to go willingly to a party, of all things. Then, she actually managed to get him to spill everything that’s been bothering him, despite his best efforts to avoid exactly that. He’s pretty sure he fucking cried, and now everything that he’s been trying so damn hard to keep in for the past however many months is out in the open and it’s a huge fucking mess._

_He was doing a pretty good job of keeping all this shit under control, and maybe he was closed off and miserable because of it, but it kept it from becoming_ this. _Now that she’s come along with all her stupid questions, trying to care about him, every reality he’s been avoiding is hitting him all at once in the worst kind of way. He’s fucking lonely, he has no friends left because he drove them all away, he has no one to rely on, he doesn’t trust anyone new, and he can’t even have fun anymore. It sucks. It sucks but it’s true and he doesn’t know what to do about any of it._

_He doesn’t even know how to feel, every emotion fighting to be on the surface. He’s not sure whether he should scream, or sob, or maybe just melt into the pavement. But he does none of those things. He just stands there and stares at her blankly, because after all of that, now all of a sudden they’re here and he’s confused all over again._

_“Come on,” she encourages, hand still outstretched as she backs up into the empty street. “One song won’t kill you.”_

_“What?” Terushima finally responds, not sure what else to say, not sure what she expects him to say when he’s in the middle of self destructing._

_“Do you wanna dance with me?” she repeats, like this clears everything up. “It’s not that complicated, just yes or no.”_

_“Why?” he asks instead of answering, voice bordering on angry. He doesn’t get it, he doesn’t get any of it! Why does this girl care so much? Why did she want to talk to him at all? Why is she trying so damn hard to help him or something when it shouldn’t even matter to her? Why can’t she just leave him alone?_

_“Why do you care so much?” she questions him, staring right through him with those gray eyes. He looks away. It’s then that he wonders why he’s even still here with her, still going along with this interrogation of his personal life. They’re not friends. He has no obligation to be here._

_“Do you have anywhere better to be?” she adds suddenly, letting her hand fall to her side._

_No. He really doesn’t._

_“Look, I just wanna go home,” Terushima says quietly, crossing his arms and folding in on himself, trying desperately to put those walls back up even when he knows it’s far too late. He doesn’t want to do this anymore. He can’t think straight._

_“It’s a yes or no question,” she states simply. “If you don’t want to, just say no. You’re not gonna hurt my feelings,” she adds with a smile so genuine he almost wishes he hadn’t glanced up._

_“Why does it matter so much if I answer or not?” he asks exasperatedly, feeling more defensive as the seconds pass. He doesn’t know why he says it, why those are the words that come out. He wants to just say no so they can leave, get away from this spot, but something isn’t letting him. “Can’t we just go?” he practically whines._

_“If you want to go, then just answer me,” she persists. “Except you can’t, can you? Because part of you still wants to say yes,” she continues with a confidence that’s somewhere between annoying and comforting. “So what’s stopping you?”_

_The same thing that always does._

_She sighs and somehow he knows he doesn’t need to say anything._

_“You know, for someone who doesn’t trust anyone anymore, you’ve sure trusted me a lot,” she starts, sitting down and leaning back on her hands like she’s not in the middle of the street right now, like she’s got all the time in the world. “You came with me to a random party just because I asked, believed that I would keep my promise and leave whenever you wanted to. You actually talked to me, let some shit out. So why is it only now that you’re hesitating?”_

_“I’m not hesitating about anything, I just wanna go,” he insists, holding his ground. He’s done with all this stupid mind game shit. “It’s late, I’m tired, I’m half drunk, I feel shitty, I’m fucking miserable now, and I don’t even know what to do with myself. I just want to go home,” he doesn’t even know what he’s feeling as he croaks out the last word, but it’s really fucking frustrating the way his vision starts to blur again. This is not what he wanted._

_“Then why won’t you just say no?” she chuckles, and it’s starting to feel like she isn’t even taking him seriously._

_“I don’t fucking know and I don’t care!” Her smile disappears at this, like she’s realizing she may have pushed him too far. It almost makes him feel guilty, the look on her face, but he just turns around. “You can stay here if you want but I’m going home.” he mumbles, starting back towards his house._

_“Terushima, there doesn’t have to be a reason for everything. You don’t always need one,” she says from behind him. He doesn’t care, just keeps walking. “There was no real reason for me to talk to you, to take you out tonight. There’s no reason that I want you to dance except for the sake of dancing. I want you to dance_ because _there’s no reason,” she explains. "I want you to let go, for just a second."_

_It doesn’t matter. He’s not listening, he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about this girl, doesn’t care what she has to say. He doesn’t want to think about it. He doesn’t need her help and he doesn’t need to stay here._

_She sighs. “Not everything has to mean something.”_

_For some reason, he stops._

***

Daichi waves one last time to Terushima before pushing through his own door.

Between staying up way later than he should’ve last night, going through his usual routine, and then staying out pretty late again tonight, he’s pretty exhausted. Despite that, he definitely doesn’t regret any of it. He really enjoys spending time with Terushima, probably more than he’ll ever admit. 

Either way, he should seriously get some sleep right now instead of standing in his doorway like an idiot thinking about Terushima. It’s not a surprise that Daichi isn’t a party animal. He’s not the kind of person who can just go forever without sleeping, he doesn’t know how other people do. He’s learned to function on the amount of sleep he usually gets, even on nights when he’s up late doing homework. Needless to say, hanging out with Terushima has eaten into those hours of precious sleep and he could go probably upstairs and fall asleep close to instantly right now. 

But he doesn’t.

He’s not sure why it’s still bothering him now, but he’s had this sort of nagging in his brain ever since he went into the front back room at the studio, like an itch. He’d hoped he would forget about it, but he hasn’t been so fortunate. Now, here he is. In the library again, standing in the dark, face to face with his own reflection on the lifeless surface of the piano. 

His hands are almost restless at his sides, in a way they haven’t been in a very long time. He tries to ignore it, but it’s been building up inside of him for hours.

He wants to play.

He hasn’t wanted to play the piano in a very long time. He told himself that he wouldn’t play it again, and up until now he’s had no desire to do so. It’s really weird that all of a sudden he’s itching to get his hands on those keys. He’s not quite sure what to do about that, the conflict in his brain leaving his body perfectly still, not moving closer, and not moving to leave.

He looks to the right, through a doorway to the space beyond where there’s a perfect view of his father’s office door, closed as always. One small detail catches his eye, the detail he must have been looking for when he had absentmindedly looked this way. There’s a small gap between the door and the floor, usually glowing with light from within late into the night. But there’s nothing there. It’s just dark. 

Now that he thinks about it, there were no cars in the driveway tonight. Daichi is home alone, and not the usual kind of alone where his father is locked away in his office. He’s actually alone, in an empty house. 

No one will know.

Without really noticing, Daichi finds himself reaching out towards the keys. One note rings out through the still air, piercing the silence. A high F sharp, echoing in his ears like a question. 

No one will know. 

But still, he turns around and goes upstairs.

***

“Who are you talking to,” Tamura coos curiously over his shoulder from her position on the couch behind him, trying to see his phone screen. “Your boy?”

“Can’t you go shove your nose in someone else’s business for a while?” Terushima responds with no real bite, clutching his phone to his chest. It’s not like he cares if she sees, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying.

“No one else has anything new for me to bother them about but you,” she reasons, poking him in the back of the head. “So, what are you talking about?”

He sighs, but replies nonetheless. “Not much really. Just random stuff. He’s not gonna be able to talk for much longer tonight anyways,” he finishes as Ota walks into the studio. 

“Why?” Tamura asks as Ota strolls curiously up to them, stopping in front of Terushima.

“Who?” he questions, looking between them. 

“Terushima’s beautiful new boy,” Tamura answers before he even has his mouth open.

“The same one?” Ota asks honestly, and Terushima isn’t sure if he should be offended or not by the surprised and somewhat proud tone of his voice.

“He has a name you know--”

“It’s crazy, right?” Tamura says to Ota like Terushima isn’t even there anymore. “I don’t think he’s ever been with one person for this long.” Terushima can’t help grimacing slightly to himself, knowing that’s not exactly true. He was with Asuka for way longer than he ever should have been, but Tamura didn’t even know Terushima when he was dating her.

Ota, on the other hand, did. He also catches a glimpse of Terushima’s expression, and like the sweetheart he is, he tries to get the conversation away from that particular subject. “Well, I like him so far, so it’s fine by me,” he says with a smile. “He seems nice.”

“He does seem like a real sweetheart,” Tamura comments.

“He is,” Terushima replies with a grin as he receives another text from the man in question, something about one of their team’s first years.

“Oh yeah,” she says suddenly, looking over Terushima’s shoulder again. “Why isn’t he gonna be able to talk for much longer? It’s not that late.”

“Does he have work or something?” Ota asks, trying to discreetly lean over to get a better angle to view the screen as well. 

“You people are relentless!” Terushima squawks, holding the phone to his chest again. “And I don’t think it’s work, but I don’t really know. I just know he’s busy on Sundays at around five.” Terushima hadn’t really thought about it much. He never really asked or felt the need to, but now he’s actually kind of curious. “Maybe I’ll ask,” he adds, picking up the phone again and typing out a quick text. 

“You’ve never asked?” Tamura says in disbelief.

“Yeah, because unlike _some_ people,” he starts, looking at between the two of them, “I have better things to do in my spare time than bothering people about their personal shit.”

 

“Hey, don’t group me with her. I’m not that bad,” Ota argues.

“Says the guy breaking his neck to read these texts!”

“Am not,” he huffs, straightening back up.

“Are to!”

“Whatever.”

Terushima laughs at them, but it’s cut off by his phone vibrating, followed by Tamura and Ota both shamelessly moving to look over his shoulders at the screen.

 **Terushima:** Hey, do you mind if I ask you why you’re busy on Sundays??

 **Sawamura:** Oh, I just have dinner every Sunday with my neighbor. She’s a really sweet old woman who I’ve lived next to since I was little.

 **Sawamura:** I go buy her groceries for the week and in return she lets me stay for dinner. We cook together and talk and stuff. It’s more fun than it probably sounds, she’s a really entertaining person.

Terushima doesn’t even know what to say to that, out loud or over text. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t _that._ That’s literally the sweetest thing he’s ever heard in his entire goddamn life. He doesn’t even know what to do with himself besides stare at the messages with the stupidest smile on his face. 

“Oh my god,” Tamura says quietly, breaking the silence that’s come over them.

“That,” Ota starts, putting a hand on Terushima’s shoulder, “has to be the cutest thing I have ever heard. What the hell? That shouldn’t even be allowed.”

“I didn’t know this boy could get any sweeter, and then this shit happens,” Tamura adds, falling dramatically back onto the couch and flying right back up the second his phone vibrates again.

 **Sawamura:** You can probably come if you want to. She loves company.

 **Sawamura:** She can also come on a little strong sometimes though, so be aware of that lol

“Say yes!” Tamura yells, reaching out for the phone. “Teru, you have to go!”

“I would, if you would stop attacking me!” he responds as he swats away her flailing arms. 

“This is so exciting,” she says, switching from grabbing at him to just shaking him violently. God, he always forgets how strong she is for how she looks.

“Ayumi, I can’t fucking type like this,” Terushima squawks, putting all his effort into just trying not to drop the damn phone. She finally stops as he types out a reply, but as soon as he hits send, she’s back to giving him whiplash.

“This is so cute. I’m so happy,” she practically sings as Terushima tries to escape her grip. He’s pretty happy too though.

 **Sawamura:** Cool, I’m on my way to the store right now if you just wanna meet me there.

“Oh what a shame, I gotta go now,” Terushima says sarcastically as he finally pulls away to grab his things.

“Have fun,” Ota says, finally on his way to his desk now that the commotion is over.

“I always do,” he replies with a wide grin. And with that, he’s out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! And thank you to anyone who leaves me comments and kudos and stuff! I appreciate them a bunch. 
> 
> Update: Sorry, I know it's been a while but I promise a chapter is still coming. I don't know why but this is taking forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Update: I'm not dead! I've literally had no free time at all but things are starting to slow down and I'm currently reading and editing the existing chapters, so expect and actual update soon!


End file.
